Tools of the Trade #3 - Your Most Hated Words

[TheRedChamber]

I'd like to know, too. Whenever I'm reading a story, especially here on Lit, two words that usually stop me in my tracks, are arse and bloomers. Neither sounds very sexy to me. Whereas, the lady's ass might be spectacular, especially encased in a tiny black thong.

So you weren't enchanted when she said 'Move your blooming arse'?

During sex scenes, I use ass in sex scenes despite using British English the rest of the time. Arse just sounds 'wider' somehow.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Yeah, sounds kind of ungainly. I always trip over it when I read it. Not exactly a word that gets you in the mood.

 

[SamScribble]

So you weren't enchanted when she said 'Move your blooming arse'?

During sex scenes, I use ass in sex scenes despite using British English the rest of the time. Arse just sounds 'wider' somehow.

An ass is a donkey. The pulchritudinous posterior of which you are thinking is an arse

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Different strokes, I guess. I'm still going with ass, and all of you who are so inclined, can go with arse and knickers.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

'Pants' would be the equivalent neutral term to 'panties'. 'Undies' could also work.

For typical menswear, boxers, jersey shorts, briefs. For typical women's wear, briefs, bikini-style briefs, thong, lacy knickers, matching lingerie, etc. Then broader terms - 'scrap of lacy fabric', 'the silk underneath her skirt'...

One that always startled me is when Americans use 'underwear' to mean underpants only, so you get sentences like 'she removed her underwear and then took off her bra'. I'm not sure if that's different usage or just sloppy writing?

 

[DouglasFinney]

One that always startled me is when Americans use 'underwear' to mean underpants only, so you get sentences like 'she removed her underwear and then took off her bra'. I'm not sure if that's different usage or just sloppy writing?

It’s not sloppy writing. “Underwear” in the context you provide only means the bottom half and does not include the bra. However, it does include an “undershirt” if one’s being worn, and it includes both the tops and bottoms of “long underwear.”

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'd like to know, too. Whenever I'm reading a story, especially here on Lit, two words that usually stop me in my tracks, are arse and bloomers. Neither sounds very sexy to me. Whereas, the lady's ass might be spectacular, especially encased in a tiny black thong.

And to an Australian reader, "tiny black thong" conjures up something like this: https://www.bigw.com.au/product/havaianas-women-s-slim-plain-thongs-black/p/1234264-black

"Ass"/"arse" is just US vs. UK English.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

And to an Australian reader, "tiny black thong" conjures up something like this: https://www.bigw.com.au/product/havaianas-women-s-slim-plain-thongs-black/p/1234264-black

"Ass"/"arse" is just US vs. UK English.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to see that wrapped around her, would you? Imagine it would be fairly uncomfortable, too!

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Yeah, you wouldn't want to see that wrapped around her, would you? Imagine it would be fairly uncomfortable, too!

Just curious, what do you call thongs then, as in thong undies?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Just curious, what do you call thongs then, as in thong undies?

That would be a "G-string". Maybe "thong panties" or "thong undies" at the more Americanised end of Australian English, but not just "thongs".

As a rule of thumb, Australians are usually aware of common US terminology and will mostly understand what a US writer means by "thong", "trunk", etc. etc. but that doesn't mean they won't snicker at it.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

Flip flops are another name for your thongs, and would sound even worse as underwear, and be just as uncomfortable, too.

That would be a "G-string". Maybe "thong panties" or "thong undies" at the more Americanised end of Australian English, but not just "thongs".

As a rule of thumb, Australians are usually aware of common US terminology and will mostly understand what a US writer means by "thong", "trunk", etc. etc. but that doesn't mean they won't snicker at it.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Flip flops are another name for your thongs, and would sound even worse as underwear, and be just as uncomfortable, too.

"Thongs" used to be a US term too, until the underwear/swimsuit usurped it. In NZ they're "jandals".

 

[KelvinBlack]

I throw in too many 'and', also 'now' and 'suddenly'. In the case of 'arse' and 'knickers', they would fit into a Victorian scenario quite well surely.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Thank you for your input, was this to build me up or build up your ego?

Accuracy in language is a good thing. Bramblethorn is thorough, is all. You start with a spiel on literacy, it's always a good idea to be squeaky clean yourself. Just a thought.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I noted a couple years ago I overused "and". Now, however much I try to be aware of that, it still happens in first drafts, though I also overuse 'though' and 'but'. All the more reason to edit, I suppose.

"and then" was my worst tic for a while. You can get by with one or the other but rarely need both. I've just about completely eliminated it, in raw draft. "Just" remains problematic, it's just so useful!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Yeah, I try to avoid writing 'knickers' too - it generally refers to larger less-sexy underpants anyway, or to old-fashioned pants/schoolgirls/the schoolgirl look, so not a very useful word for Lit.

I'll use "frilly knicks" on occasion, courtesy of my daughter and her friends. "Undies" is very Australian, but not one bit sexy. "Grundys" goes one better (worse), being rhyming slang - Reg Grundy was a big time TV producer.

 

[Bubo_bubo]

Basically. I basically need to ban basically from my vocabulary.

 

[Duleigh]

I'll use "frilly knicks" on occasion, courtesy of my daughter and her friends. "Undies" is very Australian, but not one bit sexy. "Grundys" goes one better (worse), being rhyming slang - Reg Grundy was a big time TV producer.

"Undies" is very American also, but I've heard is mostly used with children, "Get your undies on!" Not sexy at all. Thank God we don't have much for rhyming slang here, that's the most difficult part of the course for American students studying Aussie 101.

 

[MrPixel]

Hated word? Or words? "Says" and "said". I jump through hoops - some fairly awkward - to find other words for dialog, hopefully descriptors that better convey the emotional context. I write a lot of dialog.

"and then" was my worst tic for a while. You can get by with one or the other but rarely need both. I've just about completely eliminated it, in raw draft. "Just" remains problematic, it's just so useful!

I think I've broken the "and then" habit. MSWord's relatively crude grammar checker seems to call me on it often enough. My use of "just" is just awful. I usually snag those in the 10th or 15th re-read.

My killer word is "that". Unnecessary in most cases. Usually excised on the 5th re-read.

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

"and then" was my worst tic for a while. You can get by with one or the other but rarely need both. I've just about completely eliminated it, in raw draft. "Just" remains problematic, it's just so useful!

Ugh 'and then' is my nemesis.

Everytime I edit a draft:

 

[MrPixel]

Oh... regarding "panties". Nearly all of my female characters don't wear any, but on those occasions one does (usually necessary with things like bluejeans), it is "panties". With apologies to our British, etc., friends, "knickers" just makes my skin crawl. I think it's affected. I write in a US context, and "panties" covers it well. Maybe too well, for you thong fans.

C and her friends call thongs "butt floss". A G-string is a different style, BTW.

However, I do enjoy occasional use of the phrase, "knickers in a twist". I like the way it raises eyebrows.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Hated word? Or words? "Says" and "said". I jump through hoops - some fairly awkward - to find other words for dialog, hopefully descriptors that better convey the emotional context. I write a lot of dialog.

"Said" and "says" become invisible, the mind glides right by, but their job is done, you know exactly who is saying what. Whereas dialogue written with active substitutes, where writers go out of their way not to use "said" but find other speech tags, can very quickly seem over-written, affected. You say it yourself, awkward.

"It has to be said, there's a lot to be said for keeping "said" in a sentence," said the writer.

I think I've broken the "and then" habit. MSWord's relatively crude grammar checker seems to call me on it often enough. My use of "just" is just awful. I usually snag those in the 10th or 15th re-read.

My killer word is "that". Unnecessary in most cases. Usually excised on the 5th re-read.

Do a word search on "and then" and "just" and "that" - you'll get them all in the first edit. If you know they are over-used writing tics, go hunt them out, don't wait to find them. The pesky little buggers can't hide if you actively search for them.

I always use, without fail, this program: Wordit Out - word cloud - it immediately shows you the top one-hundred words in a story (excluding the most common ones like "the", "and", "a", etc.). It will tell you immediately who or what the story is about, and help you find over-used words.

An example (my latest story): Word Cloud

 

[shakna]

If I can ruin all of my tales for any of my readers, it's the word "as". Too many times, whilst joining simultaneous events, I reach for that tiny little word, and now and then end up with three or four in the paragraph, on the first writing. And too many often sneak by, after editing. If you took a notch out of a chair each time you counted a use in one of my tales, you might just end up with tinder.

 

[SimonDoom]

Hated word? Or words? "Says" and "said". I jump through hoops - some fairly awkward - to find other words for dialog, hopefully descriptors that better convey the emotional context. I write a lot of dialog.

I'm completely the opposite on this point. I agree 90% with Elmore Leonard's rule that you should ONLY use the word "said" to carry dialogue, and skip the synonyms. This is what most good authors do, most of the time. There are exceptions, but in most cases I think the excessive use of synonyms for "said" is a sign of bad writing. It comes across as an amateur with a mistaken idea of what is artistic and sophisticated. As EB noted, the reality is that when readers read "said" they don't notice it except insofar as it communicates who is talking, and that's the chief purpose of a dialogue tag. My general, though not universal rule is to use "said" and "asked" to carry dialogue, and to let the content of the dialogue and the narrative communicate the meaning and context. It's a matter of showing versus telling.

 

[Bubo_bubo]

"Said" and "says" become invisible, the mind glides right by, but their job is done, you know exactly who is saying what. Whereas dialogue written with active substitutes, where writers go out of their way not to use "said" but find other speech tags, can very quickly seem over-written, affected. You say it yourself, awkward.

"It has to be said, there's a lot to be said for keeping "said" in a sentence," said the writer.

Do a word search on "and then" and "just" and "that" - you'll get them all in the first edit. If you know they are over-used writing tics, go hunt them out, don't wait to find them. The pesky little buggers can't hide if you actively search for them.

I always use, without fail, this program: Wordit Out - word cloud - it immediately shows you the top one-hundred words in a story (excluding the most common ones like "the", "and", "a", etc.). It will tell you immediately who or what the story is about, and help you find over-used words.

An example (my latest story): Word Cloud

I did your word cloud thingy on my text, and eyeballing like that what the 3 most frequent words are, they're:
- Female main character's principal name
- Male main character's name
- "said"
... and half of my dialogue lines might not even be tagged...