Too loose?

[Adorah]

So, I had sex for the first time last night.
I knew it was going to happen, so a few days before, I stretched myself with my fingers until it hurt, because I didn't want to experience much pain when I did have sex.
However, When I had sex with him, it didn't hurt at all. It felt absolutely wonderful.
Thats why I'm worried. My ex used to comment me on how tight I was all the time (although we only engaged in foreplay), The guy I was with last night, did not.
....Was I too loose for him? Was it not a good idea to try to stretch myself a bit beforehand?

 

[EJFan]

i doubt it. the vagina is very elastic so i'm sure your few days of stretching had no permanent results. i don't think it was a very good idea though. why cause yourself the pain?

 

[Carnevil9]

If he comes back for more, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[Adorah]

i doubt it. the vagina is very elastic so i'm sure your few days of stretching had no permanent results. i don't think it was a very good idea though. why cause yourself the pain?

Well, I only stretched myself once, and only for a few seconds.
I just didn't want to experience that awkward pain that every girl has to go through when she has sex for the first time.

 

[yoshimitsu]

There is always the official too loose test.
Take a regulation football and lube it up good and slick.
If you don't have much trouble gettin it in you are officially too loose.

 

[EJFan]

i understand that and i'm glad you didn't find the experience uncomfortable. i don't think your preparation had anything to do with it though. if you and your partner took your time, did lots of foreplay and had lube handy if you needed it, that would be much more effective than trying to stretch yourself.

there's a good chance that your ex was commenting on your tightness as a compliment and not a criticism (which i'm sure you thought of).

 

[snake1500]

lol....you hafta be kiddin'...or too damn young to even be postin' on here...

 

[Eilan]

lol....you hafta be kiddin'...or too damn young to even be postin' on here...

How did you arrive at that conclusion based on anything she's said?

 

[rosebud5446]

just because he didn't comment on how tight you were the first time you had sex, doesn't mean he thought you were loose. My boyfriend just told me mabye a month ago that I'm the tightest he's ever been with and we've been having sex for 4 or 5 years. I'm sure it's not too often that a guy comes across a girl that is 'too loose'.

 

[human_male]

Try not to overthink things too much.

 

[EJFan]

I'm sure it's not too often that a guy comes across a girl that is 'too loose'.

would you say that telling a girl that sex with her is like waving a yardstick in the holland tunnel is a bad idea then?

 

[yoshimitsu]

would you say that telling a girl that sex with her is like waving a yardstick in the holland tunnel is a bad idea then?

Of course that does open you up to something like
"well maybe it's just because your yard stick was built at 1/10 scale"

 

[EJFan]

Of course that does open you up to something like
"well maybe it's just because your yard stick was built at 1/10 scale"

yeah. that's usually the response i get... and it's well founded.

 

[yoshimitsu]

yeah. that's usually the response i get... and it's well founded.

Aww poor EJ
You know there are pills all over the internet that can change that in no time at all.

Before you know it it will be like in the movies when they try to drive the huge bus through the little tunnel and only about half the bus makes it in and the rest get tore off and lays there in scraps until road workers come out and clean up the mess.

 

[College_geek]

I've always been worried about the same thing. I used tampons for years and used toys on myself for a few years before I actually had sex and my boyfriend isn't that thick, so I always worried that I was already stretched out before I even had sex. My boyfriend often reassures me that the vaginal open can stretch and after a few days tighten back to its normal shape, so I'd tell you the same thing.

About him not commenting on your tightness, I wouldn't worry about it. Not all guys do dirty talk in bed and not all use that comment as dirty talk. Everyone's different.

If you're still really worried, you can always try Kegels exercises to try to tighten and strengthen the muscles.

 

[EJFan]

LOL.

for some reason i can't get the "humpty dumpty" nursery rhyme out of my head now.

 

[aurenard]

About him not commenting on your tightness, I wouldn't worry about it. Not all guys do dirty talk in bed and not all use that comment as dirty talk. Everyone's different.

Exactly. I highly doubt that you'd actually be loose your first time without extensive use of a 9-inch suction-cup dildo...

 

[yoshimitsu]

LOL.

for some reason i can't get the "humpty dumpty" nursery rhyme out of my head now.

Lol

 

[SweetErika]

Exactly. I highly doubt that you'd actually be loose your first time without extensive use of a 9-inch suction-cup dildo...

Even then, a woman with normal vaginal muscle structure and strength wouldn't be loose.

The vagina is elastic, folks. A feeling of tightness generally is due to tightened muscles, which can stretch, relax, contract, and still return to their original shape in a short period of time. Vaginas that are loose either have poor muscle tone or have tissue that's been damaged (e.g. too much stretching or tearing during a vaginal delivery).

Having relaxed muscles during sex is a very good thing, especially if they're the result of orgasm(s), as it mitigates unnecessary pain and damage. That doesn't mean a woman's loose, it simply means she's ready for sex. Too much sex or penetration, done properly, will not make a woman loose.

IME, it's the very inexperienced and/or ignorant whom tend to be concerned with, or comment on, the loose vs. tight issue when it comes to women who have normal/undamaged vaginas. Personally, I'd much rather hear how good sex with me feels, turned on my partner is, or cares about me as a person than a comment on the state of my pussy. It'd never even occur to me to be worried or offended if they didn't say my pussy was tight; it'd be like fearing they hated my ears just because they'd never explicitly said they loved them.

 

[Noor]

I don't get this whole loose/tightness thing. If I am too tight for sex, it means I am not ready yet. Too loose means he isn't

Seriously, its anatomy, you can't really change it without surgery. Its hardly a compliment to be tight when there is nothing you can do to make it so.

My advice is just to forget it, don't bother stretching or anything, just have fun and enjoy it.

oh and not every virgin experiences pain, esp if she has used tampons. You might get muscle soreness afterwards because you are using muscles you don't normally use outside sex and belly dancing...

 

[yoshimitsu]

I don't get this whole loose/tightness thing.

It's simple
Righty tighty
Leftie loosey

 

[Adorah]

Hah, Thank you, everyone.
I now realize how incredibly ignorant my first post sounds.

Gah, first-time nerves, I suppose.

 

[4x4in]

Hah, Thank you, everyone.
I now realize how incredibly ignorant my first post sounds.

Gah, first-time nerves, I suppose.

Ever think that maybe his penis on the thin side?

I'm super thin and I can honestly say that I've yet to find a pussy that was too loose. They are all great. The reason may well be, as the ladies say, "It's how you use it."

 

[EJFan]

I now realize how incredibly ignorant my first post sounds.

i don't think it sounded ignorant at all. if you don't know something you should feel free to ask. some litizens have seen all sorts of ridiculous things posted over the years and many are just for attention (those posts get flamed and sometimes legitimate threads get flamed in error because of that). at some point nearly all threads have a little fun banter... i'm glad you didn't take anything personally here.

don't sweat it. be honest and have fun... you'll like it.

 

[KokopelliRises]

It's simple
Righty tighty
Leftie loosey

Of course! Such a simple answer can solve all the earth's problems. Why didn't I think of that first?