Tolerance and understanding?

[bluespoke]

Is tolerance something that has been outlawed on this board?

Is understanding something that should never be shown?

Week in week out on the board people reveal personal details about their appearance, their fetishes, their habits, morals etc. Week in week out a certain section of the board hammer those who dare to show a little something of themselves.

We sit here on a board which largely discusses erotica, sex and deviances from the accepted norm. When someone is more extreme than you, more perverse, do you have to scream at them that their characteristics or ideas are wrong? Would not a more sensible attitude be to listen, try to understand then debate and present a different point of view instead of just shouting your mouth off and generally behaving like a member of the moral majority?

Or is the art of debate dead?

 

[Guest]

Can I fuck your kid?

 

[modest mouse]

Can I ask, is this about the beastiality thread?

 

[Guest]

Can I ask, is this about the beastiality thread?

Or maybe about fisting thread...

Or rape thread

Or whatever...

 

[modest mouse]

CV, bluespoke is asking an honest question so enough of the one liners. But i would like to know if this is in direct reference to the most recent animal fucker thread.

 

[bluespoke]

Can I ask, is this about the beastiality thread?

Not really, it's more about the way people react when someone reveals their less than sylph like figure, their affair with a married partner, their love of golden showers etc. But the principle is similar.

 

[Guest]

________________________________________________

 

[modest mouse]

Alright.

I'm of the mind that my opinion is my opinion. I understand your point about listening and trying to see someone's perspective other than your own.

But for me the issues you mention are cut and dry. Extramarital affairs are wrong to me because it involves outright lies to one's spouse. Thats a simple issue. It means if one finds themselves in an extramarital affair then they need to step up and deal with it, not perpetuate the lies.

Golden showers are something that is done by people int he privacy of their own home. YOu dont even need to know how I feel aobut them to know that I have no problem with it.

Now this thread on beastiality. I'm not goign to be understanding when someone who is in charge of animals is fucking them. Again, clear cut for me.

 

[Shingen]

Right on bluespoke!! It's nice to see that there are some open-minded, non judgmental people here on Lit...

 

[Guest]

*Checking the Lit RULES Page*



Nope. I don't see Tolerance and Understanding being requirements here. Looks like a free-for-all for ideas, commentary, and spew.

 

[Mia62]

Is tolerance something that has been outlawed on this board?

Is understanding something that should never be shown?

Quite often the level of tolerance is set by one of the first posters in any thread...the rest hop onto the bandwagon rather than set their own standards for responding.

There are times, though, when even the most jaded, vicious poster shows moments of understanding and compassion. Those are the times that many of us wait for....day after day.

 

[Problem Child]

Not really, it's more about the way people react when someone reveals their less than sylph like figure, their affair with a married partner, their love of golden showers etc. But the principle is similar.

Overweight people get a tremendous amount of support here. The only derisive comments you'll here are from Hanns and fellow trolls and occasionally a few others. It's an open board so you get all kinds.

I don't see a lot of repulsion over golden showers, whenever it's brought up. Some people aren't into that, and they say so. Nothing wrong with that.

People that advertise affairs with married folks are leaving themselves open to criticism. Adultery is still considered morally wrong with most people, I'd wager. I don't see a problem with folks expressing their opinions on it.

 

[bluespoke]

Overweight people get a tremendous amount of support here. The only derisive comments you'll here are from Hanns and fellow trolls and occasionally a few others. It's an open board so you get all kinds.

I don't see a lot of repulsion over golden showers, whenever it's brought up. Some people aren't into that, and they say so. Nothing wrong with that.

People that advertise affairs with married folks are leaving themselves open to criticism. Adultery is still considered morally wrong with most people, I'd wager. I don't see a problem with folks expressing their opinions on it.

I wasn't just referring to the three examples I set. I was referring to the board in general on all sorts of topics.

I have no problem with people expressing an opinion either in favour or against. Similarly I have no problem when people like yourself throw a lttle comedic relief into a thread. My problem is with the vitriol that often accompanies said opinions (and not just Hanns).

There's often things I don't agree with as there are for many others but I don't see the point in just screaming abuse for the sake of it.

I'd just like to see more debate and less mud slinging.

 

[SpiceCake]

I feel there is a vast difference between expressing one's opinion over deviance of "the norm" and visciously attacking a specific person.

With the beastiality thread, I admit that the thought of sex with animals sickens me. I felt that Peachy had some good points in her comparisons. I felt the way that The Heretic responded to that thread was how it should be done. He was cordial in is disagreement.

I also agree with PC. If a person decides to post a bit about themselves that strays from "the norm" they leave themselves open for comment.

Some folks here believe that viscious attacks equal expressing their opinion and that is what I find sad. I am so guilty of this myself with a certain Lit person.

Enough of my rambling. Enjoy your day, everyone!

Good thread, bluespoke! Thanks!

 

[Mia62]

There's often things I don't agree with as there are for many others but I don't see the point in just screaming abuse for the sake of it.

I'd just like to see more debate and less mud slinging.

That is impossible in a community this size. Just as you would like to see more tolerance...there are those who live for the mud slinging.

 

[glamorilla]

With regards to sex and sexual acts i find the line of tolerance is drawn at the ability to give rational consent.

 

[Problem Child]

I wasn't just referring to the three examples I set. I was referring to the board in general on all sorts of topics.

I have no problem with people expressing an opinion either in favour or against. Similarly I have no problem when people like yourself throw a lttle comedic relief into a thread. My problem is with the vitriol that often accompanies said opinions (and not just Hanns).

There's often things I don't agree with as there are for many others but I don't see the point in just screaming abuse for the sake of it.

I'd just like to see more debate and less mud slinging.

Well, I used the examples you gave. I think this is a very open-minded community. There are only a few things, sexually speaking, that are largely frowned on, and the only two I can think of right now are scat and beastiality.

Other non-sexuality related topics can have a wide and varied response, because the only thing this group really has in common is that they are more sexually liberated than society as a whole.

The board is made up of people and people will get frustrated in an argument and turn to personal attacks. It's always been that way.

 

[bluespoke]

The board is made up of people and people will get frustrated in an argument and turn to personal attacks. It's always been that way.

I must be getting too sensitive in my 'old age'!

 

[modest mouse]

Scat isnt discussed much but I dont remember people being attacked for it. Really the only two off limits thigns are underage sex and beastiality. Incest gets a somewhat indifferent response. Incest is actively advertised as an offering of Lit so its easy to see why those with an interest would flock here. Its also almost always a purely fantasy thing.

Society at large is varied, and often times difficult to predict. Lit, not so much. As PC says, its more sexually open and skews younger and more educated(well used to skew more educated, not so much anymore).

I think the derision you see is quite minor. The negativity that seems to beother you, bluespoke, isnt so much aobut understanding as it is the continual exchanges between posters who dislike one another or who enjoy tossing barbs around.

When someone truly puts themselves out there I have seen Lit be mostly supportive. That doesnt mean people will nto voice negative opinions, but afterall those are invited by making a public statement.

Lit has seen many posters go through traumatic events and they have been supported and wished well numerous times.

Lit has seen posters come clean with dirty laundry and if the poster is willing to dea. with consequences and step up tot he plate, they are almsot always dealt with as a friend.

Overall I think the board, the general board specifically, is more understanding than you may perceive.

 

[Problem Child]

I must be getting too sensitive in my 'old age'!

Maybe. I think that getting all upset about people fighting here is a waste of time. I'm known for sarcasm and caustic one-liners, but most of the time I sit back and watch the big fights from the sidelines.

If you don't want to get involved in the fighting you don't have to. It's just the internet, and everyone is free to walk away at any time. I am of the opinion that as soon as the fighting around here really starts to bother you, you need to get out into the real world and take a break from the computer for a while.

 

[bluespoke]

PC

The day it 'really' bothers me I'll check into a local hospital!!

 

[Guest]

I'd just like to see more debate and less mud slinging.

well seing as how some people (wont mention their names) cant handle debates, you'll see continual mudslinging. Its sad really.
Good post bluespoke.

 

[Shaq]

Re: Re: Tolerance and understanding?

There are times, though, when even the most jaded, vicious poster shows moments of understanding and compassion. Those are the times that many of us wait for....day after day.

You need a hobby.

 

[intrigued]

(These are my own observations and feelings. I know its different for others, and should be.)

Tolerance isn't outlawed, it's just not practiced much. Usually, personal agendas take center stage.

Understanding/support can be shown, but be prepared to be made fun of and picked at for being too "sweet" and "sunny".

In ways, the art of debate is dead. Those that really feel the need to respond to something often feel impassioned, and have difficulty responding without emotion, or atleast, with their emotion in check. Without fail, the lovely behavior of name calling, which solves so much, is the end result.

Sure, it would be nice if we could listen, open our minds to another view, and either toss it or not without attacking those that differ, and many here are able to do so. But everyone has different ideas of what the board experience is supposed to be, so there will always be conflict. Some think its just for shit and giggles, some think its a place to take out their frustrations on others, some think its a place to flirt and cyber, some think its a tool for learning, to toss around their thoughts and get a little feedback to help them figure something out. Some find it to be a place to venture out in a manner that is safe for them. Its many things and can't be neatly boxed up into one little category. Because its different things to different people, some think that their way is the only acceptable way for it to be experienced, and can't stomach it when someone else seeks something different, and feel the need to make sure we all know it. This is supported in how its ok for one poster to post a certain type thread, yet when another does, its not acceptable.

I believe there is sometimes a pack mentality, something along the lines of what Mia said. Certain posters DO set the tone for how something is responded to. I really dig it when people go ahead and speak their mind anyway. Cartain posters have expectations of conformity from other posters, ie: siglines, emoticons, acceptable topics, etc. Its a though they think we owe them something, beyond not being rude, and common decency.
Certain past negative experiences sometimes hold me back from responding to something the way I really want to, which seems a waste to me, in that it lessens my experience. Its just not worth what I know I'll get in response, so I say nothing. Sometimes I'll PM the poster and tell them what I wanted to say, and thats fine, but then whatever discussion might have come from it with other posters is lost. (Thats NOT whining, thats my observation, and my decision.)

I've learned that you cannot possibly respond to something without a bit of your personal experience shining through, no matter how veiled you try to be. I just don't see any other way to respond, and don't think I should have to. But when you do, you open the door to being attacked for whining, seeking attention, and any number of other motives, even though there is no possible way for someone to know how you currently emotionally perceive the situation you are posting about. I've spoken of rape, repressed sexuality, certain aspects of a broken marriage, a falling apart house, and past depression. In no way was I seeking sympathy because there is nothing a single soul on the internet can offer me that will ever amount to anything of substance by feeling sorry for me. That does often happen, someone will express sorrow that something bad happened to you, isn't that human nature? But at the end of the day, it is appreciated, but doesn't change anything at all. I don't pity myself and the very last thing I want someone else to do is to pity me. It was because I have come through and survived those things for the most part that I am able to speak of them at all, and talking about them was meant to offer support, insight and whatever tools I can, be it a link to more information, or simply the knowledge that someone has been there and what they felt, learned or did, etc. And I know that these things do help us, because I've had several light bulb moments while reading the thoughts of others, and have been told that things I've expressed struck a chord with another.
If its not possible, and serves no purpose, why are we here? If self expression (no matter what the persona is or isn't) is not important to us, why do we write stories, in hopes that someone will read them? Why do we post at all?

Some people express that they don't care how they are perceived, and that being attacked or made fun of doesn't bother them at all. (Yet, when it happens, they sure do get riled up.) But I'm not buying it, not a one of us is here to talk to ourselves. I've said it myself, in times when I'd been so trolled that I was just angry enough to not giving a flying fuck what anyone thought of me. But I finally realized that what angered me was being controlled by anothers actions to the point that I felt I could no longer be myself. I have every bit as much right to post and be whatever way I want to be as anyone else does. I can post whatever kind of thread I want to, I can vent just like anyone else, I can be sweet and post a rose if I want to, I can be flirty and post a licking tongue if I want to, and I can post that I'm rofl~ing if I want to. I can use 10 emoticons if I want to and laugh my ass off that something so tiny SO offends others that feel they should be considered and pampered because they don't like emoticons. Or siglines. Or sweetness. Or flirtiness. Or rape threads. I can be a poster that shows common decency and tolerance because that is how I am. But can I be treated that way, can I be left alone and allowed to do my thing in peace, when I am not hurting anyone? Not in a million years.
I accept, but don't like it worth a damn. And before some smart ass comes in and asks me why I stay, I'll be happy to quip "didn't I tell you?"

Its just the way it is, you swim with the sharks, or be eaten by them.
Sometimes you get both.

 

[Problem Child]

PC

The day it 'really' bothers me I'll check into a local hospital!!

Don't be extreme now, just go outside and have a smoke, go jerk off....something like that.