To My Most Precious Darling Sveetie

[Cheffie Stalker]

You are my sun and my moon and my stars
When I see your butt I feel like I'm breathing on Mars
Oh my heart pounds so hard that it could power cars
I love you my most precious darling sveetie-bars!

Signed,

Your Interim Stalker

 

[Cheffie Stalker]

Roses are red
Violets are purple
Cheffie make my heart
Want to burple!

Signed,

Your Interim Stalker

 

[Mistress]

Well now thats interesting.....

 

[alexandraaah]

This should ease his migraines, for sure.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Has anyone seen Lavender lately?

 

[Cheffie Stalker]

My love is like lavender
Fresh and sprinkly
Take me on the fender
So my dress isn't wrinkly

Signed,

Your Interim Stalker

 

[alexandraaah]

Tell me about the rabbits again, George.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

The rabbits are white
And fuzzy to boot
We'll grow 'em up big
For some hunters to shoot.

 

[Cheffie Stalker]

The Flea

Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deny'st me is;
Did you call the cops? Perhaps Interpol?
I hope you didn't from the bottom of my soul.
Me it sucked first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea, our two bloods mingled be;
No it's not a threat, please don't have a fit
I just liked the poem, it reminds me of my clit.
Confess it, this cannot be said
A sin, or shame, or loss of maidenhead,
See? It's all about sex, it always is
Come on baby, give my clit a kiss.
Yet this enjoys before it woo,
And pampered swells with one blood made of two,
And this, alas, is more than we would do.
Why are you running? I'm not dangerous!
I just love you to death, it's a refrain, a chorus.
Our love is sweet, so pure, it'll never bore us!

Signed,

John Donne and Me, Your Interim Stalker

 

[alexandraaah]

I'm gonna pet 'em and squeeze 'em and break their little necks.

 

[Cheffie Stalker]

Hamlet howled and Hamlet cried,
Cause wouldn't ya know it, Ophelia died.
Or were they even in the same play?
I have no idea, I was watching you sway
While you tried to keep from falling asleep
Two rows in front and over three seats
You didn't know I was there that night
When I stole your wallet and instigated a fight
Between you and your date, she was really nice
But after a pinch of sugar, you thought she had lice.
I live for the day when you finally see me
Despite the restraining order, I know we're meant to be.

Signed,

Your Interim Stalker

 

[Guest]

LMAO

 

[bluntforcemama]

I'm going to guess that it's Muff.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Did you check out the website?

 

[fgarvb1]

better him than me! damn!

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Did you check out the website?

I have a website?

Who is that masked stalker!

 

[kotori]

Did you check out the website?

I did. I'm jealous.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Me, too, Kotori, me, too.

*sigh*

 

[Cheffie Stalker]

I've oft been told by learned friars,
That wishing and the crime are one
And Heaven punishes desires
As much as if the deed were done.

If waiting damns us, you and I
Are damned to all our heart's content;
Come, then, at least we may enjoy
Some pleasure for our punishment!

Oh give me respite my darling muppet
One hundred feet is much too far
I promise to pet your hair, not pluck it
If only you'd rescind the restraining order.

Signed,

Thomas Moore and Me, Your Interim Stalker

 

[Rhys]

ROOFLMAO!!!!

 

[kotori]

Me, too, Kotori, me, too.

*sigh*

but not of Cheffie. I'm jealous of the mind of the stalker: why couldn't I think of something like that?

 

[lilminx]

I saw the website. Love the pics there, and the bouncing heart.

 

[Svedish_Chef]

What happens when I inherit a fulltime stalker?

 

[kotori]

What happens when I inherit a fulltime stalker?

Didn't you read the instructions at the bottom of the web site?

 

[OpposingBalance]

Damn..
I've got to say, "Cheffie Stalker" is good at writing poetry on the fly...makes me envious, lol.