To all those who say they aren't getting enough sex..... a question......???

[warrior queen]

Not getting enough from the missus...

Note that the above is not directed specifically at the person who made the statement - I am using it as a general quote.

But I am somewhat curious..... Don't all of you who moan about not getting enough sex discuss this with your partner?
I would have thought, what with sex being such a big part of most relationships, that it would be something you'd want to hash out/fix?

 

[lovetoread]

Well, when I start bitching about the lack of penis and he gets all technical about why said penis is not being shared and it just goes downhill from there.

 

[warrior queen]

Oh - and I'm not talking about relationships where medical issues are the reason

 

[warrior queen]

Well, when I start bitching about the lack of penis and he gets all technical about why said penis is not being shared and it just goes downhill from there.

There are other sexual interactions that don't involve a penis.

 

[CandiCame]

If my cock didn't work I'd try to help you find supplemental cock. Just saying.

I'm not even saying that I'd find you another guy. If you wanted penetration that bad, they sell vibrators for that very reason. It's entirely possible to fuck a chick with a vibrator. ...plus... it vibrates.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

There are other sexual interactions that don't involve a penis.

There are sexual interactions that don't involve a sheep.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I lived with a man once. I figured that giving some was part of the household deal.

 

[Sideslider]

Note that the above is not directed specifically at the person who made the statement - I am using it as a general quote.

But I am somewhat curious..... Don't all of you who moan about not getting enough sex discuss this with your partner?
I would have thought, what with sex being such a big part of most relationships, that it would be something you'd want to hash out/fix?

I don't mind if people know that it was my statement, so I'll just throw that out there, but I'd like to put it into context (as I feel a bit of an insufferable bastard for not quantifying.)

Several very understandable and valid reasons for my wife's libido to be in the toilet lately. She's on a new work schedule that has her out of the house for 13 hours a day. We recently moved and didn't find a decent gym until last week, coupled with the relocation had us both not working out and eating like hell. She's put back on a fair amount of weight, that is causing her body-image issues which I have been unable to correct no matter how much loving attention, honest praise, and positive reinforcement I provide. Top all that off with a procedure a few years back to remove polyps from her cervix, causes her pain anytime I bump it, so I have to restrict....vigor and depth.

My wife is in no way to blame for the fact that my libido has kicked back into high gear (getting back to the gym was like a pure shot of testosterone.) I truly hope things get back to normal for her, because she outpaces me easily!

That said, this is not meant to be a flame or bitch session toward Warrior Queen's very valid point. People often take sex with their spouse for granted, instead of using a little introspection to see what they could do to help things improve as well.

 

[McKenna]

Note that the above is not directed specifically at the person who made the statement - I am using it as a general quote.

But I am somewhat curious..... Don't all of you who moan about not getting enough sex discuss this with your partner?
I would have thought, what with sex being such a big part of most relationships, that it would be something you'd want to hash out/fix?

Been there, done that; I got the t-shirt!

Without being too specific, let me point out that while sex is a big part of some relationships, it is not a big part of all relationships. I think I read once where sex, on average, occurred once per week for couples in committed, long-term relationships. You getting banged four times a month? Congrats! You're normal!

Additionally, couples often have other factors that keep them together despite the lack of sex. These could be, but are not limited to: children; shared family business; shared family goals; financial security/comfort zone; maturity.

If your partner isn't willing to listen/hash out/work on the issues that are important to you, then yes, maybe it's time to seek outside help. OR, you could ride out the wave, keep on keeping on with the trust/belief that things will eventually get back on an even keel. Relationships aren't stagnant, they're fluid. Roll with them, or be prepared for bumpy, miserable ride.

 

[KingOrfeo]

But I am somewhat curious..... Don't all of you who moan about not getting enough sex discuss this with your partner?

"Partner"? You seem to be missing the problem here, which is usually lack of partners. (Now, if you have a steady partner and you're still not getting enough sex, kill him/her; it won't solve your problem, but it will improve the world.)

 

[warrior queen]

Been there, done that; I got the t-shirt!

Without being too specific, let me point out that while sex is a big part of some relationships, it is not a big part of all relationships. I think I read once where sex, on average, occurred once per week for couples in committed, long-term relationships. You getting banged four times a month? Congrats! You're normal!

Additionally, couples often have other factors that keep them together despite the lack of sex. These could be, but are not limited to: children; shared family business; shared family goals; financial security/comfort zone; maturity.

If your partner isn't willing to listen/hash out/work on the issues that are important to you, then yes, maybe it's time to seek outside help. OR, you could ride out the wave, keep on keeping on with the trust/belief that things will eventually get back on an even keel. Relationships aren't stagnant, they're fluid. Roll with them, or be prepared for bumpy, miserable ride.

I didn't say 'all' relationships.
But given the amount of times people come to the gb (as well as other boards here) and say they're not getting enough, it does seem to be a problem in a hell of a lot of relationships.

 

[warrior queen]

I don't mind if people know that it was my statement, so I'll just throw that out there, but I'd like to put it into context (as I feel a bit of an insufferable bastard for not quantifying.)

Several very understandable and valid reasons for my wife's libido to be in the toilet lately. She's on a new work schedule that has her out of the house for 13 hours a day. We recently moved and didn't find a decent gym until last week, coupled with the relocation had us both not working out and eating like hell. She's put back on a fair amount of weight, that is causing her body-image issues which I have been unable to correct no matter how much loving attention, honest praise, and positive reinforcement I provide. Top all that off with a procedure a few years back to remove polyps from her cervix, causes her pain anytime I bump it, so I have to restrict....vigor and depth.

My wife is in no way to blame for the fact that my libido has kicked back into high gear (getting back to the gym was like a pure shot of testosterone.) I truly hope things get back to normal for her, because she outpaces me easily!

That said, this is not meant to be a flame or bitch session toward Warrior Queen's very valid point. People often take sex with their spouse for granted, instead of using a little introspection to see what they could do to help things improve as well.

I really wasn't singling anyone out, which is why I deleted the name.
It just occurred to me that every few days or so, another person somewhere on lit says they're not getting as much sex as they'd like.

 

[Porkwarrior]

There are other sexual interactions that don't involve a penis.

I actually "hit the wall" this weekend, and for the first time in a long while could only cum once with a wet & willing partner and was pretty much done after that. The mind was willing...but it was like shooting pool with a piece of rope.

So I licked her to hair pulling, thigh twitching, fingers digging into her ass, toe curling cumming orgasm. Twice. And loved it.

Sex in relationships is not just about getting yourself off, it's enjoying getting your partner off as well. Once that fades, the relationship is in trouble. Because if you are not fucking your partner as much as they want it, they can probably find somebody who will.

 

[thirty]

Note that the above is not directed specifically at the person who made the statement - I am using it as a general quote.

But I am somewhat curious..... Don't all of you who moan about not getting enough sex discuss this with your partner?
I would have thought, what with sex being such a big part of most relationships, that it would be something you'd want to hash out/fix?

There is a different story in each bed...

 

[Tryharder62]

Sometimes you can talk and talk and find the answer is no.

 

[CandiCame]

I think that someone else kinda hit on this earlier, but I am gonna mention that sex has a different level of importance to different people. I'm a very physical person, so if things aren't clicking in the bedroom, my brain uses that as a microcosm for the relationship. "What am I doing wrong?" "Why won't she communicate with me?" "Why doesn't she want to be intimate with me?" "Why isn't she telling me what's wrong?"

When for some people, it's just not a thing. They're fine with having less sex, and don't feel a need to comumincate it until asked, just because they're so used to it, being hard-wired that way.

 

[warrior queen]

Sometimes you can talk and talk and find the answer is no.

If that's the case, and sex is important to you (generic, not personal 'you'), what next?

 

[warrior queen]

I think that someone else kinda hit on this earlier, but I am gonna mention that sex has a different level of importance to different people. I'm a very physical person, so if things aren't clicking in the bedroom, my brain uses that as a microcosm for the relationship. "What am I doing wrong?" "Why won't she communicate with me?" "Why doesn't she want to be intimate with me?" "Why isn't she telling me what's wrong?"

When for some people, it's just not a thing. They're fine with having less sex, and don't feel a need to comumincate it until asked, just because they're so used to it, being hard-wired that way.

I'm referencing people who come here and talk about not getting enough.
Obviously, sex is somewhat important to them, else they wouldn't complain.

 

[CandiCame]

I'm referencing people who come here and talk about not getting enough.
Obviously, sex is somewhat important to them, else they wouldn't complain.

Yeah. I'm just saying it sucks to be in a relationship where sex is important to you but not to your partner. Because you don't want to pressure, but it feels like a relationship problem to the person with the high libido. It's especially annoying if you're a sub with a high libido, because it feels like asking for sex/instigating is insulting.

 

[John Doe]

I think that someone else kinda hit on this earlier, but I am gonna mention that sex has a different level of importance to different people. I'm a very physical person, so if things aren't clicking in the bedroom, my brain uses that as a microcosm for the relationship. "What am I doing wrong?" "Why won't she communicate with me?" "Why doesn't she want to be intimate with me?" "Why isn't she telling me what's wrong?"

When for some people, it's just not a thing. They're fine with having less sex, and don't feel a need to comumincate it until asked, just because they're so used to it, being hard-wired that way.

"She"? Really?

 

[QuantumJumping]

Fightings just not worth it

My partner would argue for three hours why he was not in the mood. I was HOT so that wasn't the problem. Psychologist tells me he is asexual. Testosterone level is fine. Their brains are weird.
Thank Goodness for Toys. And a fertile imagination.
Only time he ever offered to have sex was when he knew I would say no. Like when I was leaving to write a final exam at University. When I got back, he wasn't in the mood. So next time, I tell him the exam is at 10 am, when really it is at 4 pm.
He pulls same trick. I'm walking out the door for the 10 am bogus test, he gets all hot and horny. I say yes, drop my bag and I'm all over him. Surprise. His mood has passed. He wants sex three times a year. I could orgasm three times a day. He faked interest in sex for two years, then showed his true self. They are clever that way.

 

[gs1234]

What frequency of sex would be considered as "normal"

Like the "average" household has 2.4 kids........

I have a loving wife, and she is mostly whiling, but I'd like it if she initiates the sexual act more.....

Sometimes it feels to me I'm the only one that gets things started.

BTW, I love my wife to bits, and sex is only a small part of what's keeping us together.

 

[the_kuntess]

He faked interest in sex for two years, then showed his true self. They are clever that way.

They? As in asexual people?

 

[Radiohead]

There are sexual interactions that don't involve a sheep.

Really?

 

[CandiCame]

"She"? Really?

Yeah. I'm dating a girl right now.