Tips for Posting

[MissTaken]

Hi all,

I was just wandering through the forums and thought we might want to give some pointers out concerning how to post effectively on the forums. By effectively, I mean so that your post is more likely to be read and if not responded to directly, will enhance discussion.

So, here goes.

1. When you start a thread, try to make your thread title relevant to the topic you wish to discuss. Beginning a thread with a title that is very general or has little to do with your first post is likely to lose the interest of the other posters.

2. No, I am not a grammar and spelling snob, but using basic rules of grammar and double checking your spelling will make your post easier to read for other posters. If it is easier to read, it will be read! Organizing your writings by spacing between paragraphs is one little tool I use to make my posts more decipherable, especially when I am rambling!

3. If you are responding directly to someone, quote them. You can do so by clicking the "quote" button at the bottom of the post you wish to respond to. In so doing, you can avoid any confusion should others be posting at the same time and their post gets onto the forums before yours.

4. We encourage the serious discussion of BDSM issues on the Talk forum and idle chit chat and off topic discussions on the Chat forum. If you aren't sure where to post a thread, ask anyone. I am sure everyone would be happy to help you.

5. Debates and discussions can get very serious when discussing issues as intense and personal as our intimate lives. We, at this site, do our best to encourage and support free speech guidelines. As such, as rule of thumb, treat others as you would hope to be treated on the forums. You have the right to post anything you like as long as it doesn't violate lit guidelines, but also, others have the same right to respond freely.


6. Before reacting negatively to a post that seems to target you or makes you feel defensive, ask for clarification. Many times, what we type isn't read by the reader with the same tone. This is a one dimensional means of communication and there are times when asking, "What did you mean?" will save you from undo frustration.

7. Be cautious about giving out personal information. While many of us are legitimate and are not interested in making life difficult for anyone, some people may not be the type of person they want you to believe they are. An online community can give us a false sense of security and we should always use caution when interacting with anonymous personas on line.

8. Don't be disheartened if you posted and no one replies to you directly. Your post has been read and many feel more inclined to reply to a post they disagree with rather than a post they agree with.


Does anyone care to add to these random thoughts?

Take care and have fun,

MissT

 

[Etoile]

These are awesome tips, MissTaken! Would you mind if I copy them to GLBT Chatter, crediting you?

 

[MissTaken]

No problem and please, don't credit me.

They were random thoughts, some borrowed from others and some of my own. I am not being coy. I mean it.

 

[shelleb4]

"i am not being coy, I mean it"
beautifully said MisTaken, beautifully.

 

[s'lara]

Bumping this "helpful hints" thread for our new posters and seasoned posters.

As an addition, please do not be afraid to broach a subject that may seem silly. There are no stupid questions as the saying goes. Also, please feel free to post credible sources of new information. The acquisition of informative data is always a plus, so please let us know if there is a subject, practice or new discovery you've come upon in your daily BDSM activities. You never know who may benefit from your knowledge.

Finally, please do feel free to have fun with the topics. If there is a spin you can put on a particular subject, please do so. i think we all can learn something even if presented with an opposite viewpoint.

lara

 

[Mr Blonde]

BUMP

Please remember this forum is for actual BDSM discussion. Certain topics will always be interesting to some yet boring to others, but tons of stuff is getting posted that is not even remotely connected to BDSM. Use the Cafe if you want to discuss stuff like sports or politics.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bumping with a new addition which may help. Before disputing and insisting something has or has not been mentioned in a particular thread, read the thread first if possible, and especially the opening post and those few following if nothing else. It not only helps the discussion to continue but helps people understand why others may say, think, react, or feel as they do.

It is often a time issue which prevents reading a whole thread (especially as we do have some lengthy and lively discussions), but if someone refers to or mentions something being mentioned in the thread it may be worth the time to read or reread before jumping into the fray and claiming otherwise.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

While free speech is respected here, using expletives to force your message across rarely achieves what the poster sets out to do, nor gives strength to their discussion point in the way they may have intended. It is a personal choice, but also may cause offence where none may have been intended. Courtesy and backing your point with a cognitive response will not only help people perhaps understand better what you are trying to explain or say, but also encourages others to listen to what it is you want to say.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Never feel any question is too silly to ask, we have all been new or found something we didn't understand as another may have intended. Asking clarification or further questions is not rude, more often is seen as an interest in what is being discussed and the diverse views often discussed in threads.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

http://www.smilies4you.de/content/sonstige/b5.gif Starting new threads is a good way of keeping discussion alive, though preferrably not many threads on the same topic at the same time. Old threads are there to be read, featured in the library, and sometimes added to. That being said, often the opening topic does not come from the same perspective a poster might want to direct the conversation, or might deal with a different aspect of the same topic, so a new thread can be an asset and generate a new conversation. Old threads can be recycled and it is often good to do so, but sometimes if they are lengthy already it will dissuade people from reading or contributing to them, or as some have recently mentioned may feel the thread is full of people no longer on the board so not quite as interesting as something fresh discussed between current posters. Main point is the board is for discussion and though most topics have been discussed in some form at some point in the history of the board, new views, new discussions, new people keep the board alive and discussing.

Catalinahttp://www.smilies4you.de/content/sonstige/c110.gif

 

[Deadly Guardian]

My Thanks I am still learning all this posting thing. I do it for knowledge and the hope i will become better at what I like to do. Maybe In time I will start my own thread but who knows.
** A

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Main point is the board is for discussion and though most topics have been discussed in some form at some point in the history of the board, new views, new discussions, new people keep the board alive and discussing.

Sorry, i don't agree. i've found most of the replies i've given to some of the recent threads within 10 seconds. That said, realize the current search engine parameters truncate a broad search for both experienced and new users. If you can come up with a means of conducting a search that doesn't produce, Showing results 1 to 25 of 500, i'll gladly say "That's all well, fine, and good."

For grins and giggles, how about making either

New faces, come say hello...

or

The Fireside Lounge: a place for oldies, newbies and lurkers to get comfie

a sticky? Better yet, since one exists in each forum, make them both stickies. They might actually get seen and used. Until that time, you can continue to condone a forum stuffed with "i'm interested in BDSM" threads on the front page of the forum by people that either can't figure out how to use the library, or don't bother opening it. i'll keep dredging up prior threads that took less time to find than the newbie took to create the original post.

 

[slave C]

Since I am new to cyber space I really appreciate this thread. I am uncomfortable using technology, Master, however, is another story. I will have Him read this post and explain things to me, ie...what would be considered personal information etc. submissively slave c

 

[catalina_francisco]

Sorry, i don't agree. i've found most of the replies i've given to some of the recent threads within 10 seconds. That said, realize the current search engine parameters truncate a broad search for both experienced and new users. If you can come up with a means of conducting a search that doesn't produce, Showing results 1 to 25 of 500, i'll gladly say "That's all well, fine, and good."

For grins and giggles, how about making either

New faces, come say hello...

or

The Fireside Lounge: a place for oldies, newbies and lurkers to get comfie

a sticky? Better yet, since one exists in each forum, make them both stickies. They might actually get seen and used. Until that time, you can continue to condone a forum stuffed with "i'm interested in BDSM" threads on the front page of the forum by people that either can't figure out how to use the library, or don't bother opening it. i'll keep dredging up prior threads that took less time to find than the newbie took to create the original post.

The problem is though AA, as much as you feel it is boring and easier to dredge up a similar thread with answers, some people with real issues currently in their lives need and want to discuss their own particular reality, and can often get a fresh outlook from people who have not had the opportunity to comment before or may even have changed their view about a particular topic sine they posted back in the mists of time...I for one have changed many of the things I felt when I first came to Lit simply through growing and getting more experience in a RL relationship and living a reality which has helped me grow. No-one is forced to read a thread and no-one is forced to post to a thread if they don't feel it is necessary.

Add to that some of those old threads have not offered any substantial advice while others have, and that times change. Many people do not have time to spend searching for a list of possible threads and reading them all to see if they apply to them...and dare I add with hijacks full of personal jokes and chit chat that sometimes consist of a page or more in a thread, some people find it frustrating to try and wade through to see if there is anything worth reading and which they understand. I have on occasion followed a link in a thread aimed at providing information to the poster only to find it is dead....not much use anymore. And though you may be search king, not all people are.....this thread for example....I put in 'posting tips' and guess what? ...the search engine did not find it....I found it because I remembered it was begun by Miss Taken so searched threads started by her....now if I were newer to the board and did not have that knowledge I would not have found it through the search option. We have a library but even that sometimes does not render finding things easily and no, it is not a reflection on the librarian as she has done an excellent job and still is....just where one person might search for a particular topic is not always where another might.

As has been said before, people like to have a discussion with people who are on the board today, people they know for better or worse, and people they can interact with and discuss their experiences with. A library is a valuable resource where you can read about what others have done, what has gone before, find imformation that may help...a discussion board is a place for discussing what is happening, what people are doing today as opposed to 3 years ago, getting advice, information and support from others who are here now. There is a need for both and without the board there would be no library or archives full of information to search but I feel strongly people still have new and relevant things to say. If we are to come here to only look up old threads we can all find much of that on a variety of sites which produce articles on just about every topic according to the site owners views...I come here to discuss and interact, not just search and read. As to stickies, I am open to it if people want more, but I seem to remember only a few months back there was an outcry about how many stickies we have.

Catalina

 

[AngelicAssassin]

some people with real issues currently in their lives need and want to discuss their own particular reality, and can often get a fresh outlook from people who have not had the opportunity to comment before or may even have changed their view about a particular topic sine they posted back in the mists of time...

And once again, why can't that be addressed in a thread where the subject (albeit not exactly as the new poster has decided to ask a question) has already been discussed? i have no problem with a topic coming up for discussion again. i do have issue with yet another thread on a similar topic. If for no other reason than one you've named yourself ...

this thread for example....I put in 'posting tips' and guess what? ...the search engine did not find it....

keep encouraging multiple threads on the same topic and you won't find your own threads in another year. MissTaken did an experimental merge last year. What became of it thereafter? Nothing. How many shaving threads do we have? Are you trying to tell me someone's different nuance on hair removal warrants a new thread on the subject?

As has been said before, people like to have a discussion with people who are on the board today, people they know for better or worse, and people they can interact with and discuss their experiences with. I come here to discuss and interact, not just search and read.

Then why not scrap every thread we have after a certain period of time of inactivity if we need to cater to the present population? If that's too draconian for you, archive the "antiquity" threads by merging them into the Original Monster Thread. The point you seem to miss is a search IS becoming harder to conduct because we have so many threads in the forum now. For grins and giggles, put BDSM into the search topic and select BDSM talk and child forums. Yes, i've exaggerated the issue, but as you've said, those not conversant with conducting a search will quit doing so because the results get truncated.

As to stickies, I am open to it if people want more, but I seem to remember only a few months back there was an outcry about how many stickies we have.

And how many of those people still post? i'd rather see a sticky for new folks to wet their feet right at the top of the forum where they can see the damn thing than yet another "Hi! i'm new to the forum. My partner and i just got into this neato kinkfest and have questions."

 

[sunfox]

i'd rather see a sticky for new folks to wet their feet right at the top of the forum where they can see the damn thing than yet another "Hi! i'm new to the forum. My partner and i just got into this neato kinkfest and have questions."

Much as it's entertaining me to watch you guys go back and forth... and please, do continue once I'm done here... AA, you know we'll still get a plethora of those newbie posts regardless of how many stickies we have. People don't even look at them half the time, unfortunately, preferring to just start yet another thread on their singular desire to be a sub/Dom/whatever.

That said, perhaps a pointedly named "Sticky for BDSM Newbie Questions" or something similar wouldn't be amiss.

Now, back to the grouching.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

AA, you know we'll still get a plethora of those newbie posts regardless of how many stickies we have ... unfortunately, preferring to just start yet another thread on their singular desire to be a sub/Dom/whatever.

And those could be merged right into the appropriate place, sticky present, or not. If they did get merged, skip the sticky requirement.

 

[catalina_francisco]

And once again, why can't that be addressed in a thread where the subject (albeit not exactly as the new poster has decided to ask a question) has already been discussed? i have no problem with a topic coming up for discussion again. i do have issue with yet another thread on a similar topic. If for no other reason than one you've named yourself ... keep encouraging multiple threads on the same topic and you won't find your own threads in another year.

Number one I am not that self focused to be too worried about finding my own threads unless there is something in particular I want to check or think might be of use......then I can just refer to my own profile and bring up 'threads started by catalina_francisco' and hey presto, there it is....same as I do when I want to find threads I remember from other posters.

MissTaken did an experimental merge last year. What became of it thereafter? Nothing. How many shaving threads do we have? Are you trying to tell me someone's different nuance on hair removal warrants a new thread on the subject?Then why not scrap every thread we have after a certain period of time of inactivity if we need to cater to the present population? If that's too draconian for you, archive the "antiquity" threads by merging them into the Original Monster Thread.

Personally I think you have an issue and I am not sure what it is or why. People are human and do want to have the opportunity to discuss things from their own perspective and seek the opinions or experiences of others, especially people who are still here and they know or can get to know. And nowhere have I suggested shelving threads and don't agree it is an alternative. Ihave recycled countless ones myself, even after being criticised by some for it.....there is room for both old and new....it is called growth. The Monster thread was the beginning......haven't we long since moved on from the first day of the forum and no longer need to merge every topic into one old thread.

The point you seem to miss is a search IS becoming harder to conduct because we have so many threads in the forum now. For grins and giggles, put BDSM into the search topic and select BDSM talk and child forums. Yes, i've exaggerated the issue, but as you've said, those not conversant with conducting a search will quit doing so because the results get truncated.

Personally I have nearly always found the search function wanting. I have both under the old and new system put in a search with the exact name of a thread and designated to look only in the forum where I know it is and still it cannot find it....and not because there are so many threads but because it is not a great search engine and comes up with 'no matches for your search'....so then I go back to the time consuming way and find the thread in the forum I set it for and under the exact name I fed in......so it is not an issue of how many threads are available. Add to that you can limit your search by a time frame so all threads are not brought up. I personally try to avoid the search function nowdays as it is too frustrating for words because it is inefficient and has flaws.

And how many of those people still post? i'd rather see a sticky for new folks to wet their feet right at the top of the forum where they can see the damn thing than yet another "Hi! i'm new to the forum. My partner and i just got into this neato kinkfest and have questions."

True enough, just as in the Monster thread and several others that have been resurrected. If lucky one or two posters still post and it turns into an "i miss so ansd so' thread which serves very few. Personally I can fully uinderstand why someone who is wanting information or having a problem might want to present their own thread for feedback....often recylced threads are added to by people who read the very first post and answer not realising the date on the post is 2-3 years old so no longer relevant and if someone has used it to present their own question it can go unanswered. We are all individual and no matter how many threads resemble each other, each person's particular context and circumstances are going to differ, hence the desire to [present their own story, sometimes just because they want to be acknowledged and feel part of the community, not a bystander reading about people long gone. Times change as do people.


As an added observation, if thread numbers is a problem, shouldn't we start merging threads with the General Board, How To and Sexual Role Play forums which all have more threads than we do?

Catalina

 

[YinandYang]

Okay as a newbie who has asked questions, heres my point of view, seeing as the whole coverstation is based around newbie postings.

The one point that hasn't really been addressed fully is that the 'interaction' aspect is important. To get a chance to interact with people who understand each other on a BDSM level. I for one wouldn't feel comfortable in a chatroom talking about the subject/s at hand. By asking questions, even if they have been repeated, is also a way to get to know people.

Yes I could sit here and do multiple searches (although still having dial up internet in this way out village is a huge problem lol), but I wouldn't be interacting with anyone. How could anyone expect to get involved in a community/forum that ceases to have new threads, albeit repeated ones.

How would you get to know me if I never posted for fear of repeating something? And in deed how would I get to know you, buy reading old posts when people change, opinions change?

The topics in hand are quite enclosed, and I think the scope for inventing absolute new threads is pretty limited.

I would say as a new poster it can take a lot of courage to step up and write a post, and to have it answered by adding a link, no matter how helpful, is a sure way to stop new posters.

I have to add AA that I have been grateful for your links, because I have read some of them and found them informative, but I have also seen the need to get 'out there' and start interacting with people who talk back. I have no hope in hell of talking through things with the people around me (apart from my partner) so its kind of nice to be able to do that on here.

Yes some posts do seem like a bolt out of the blue 'I am new here and want to submit' for example, but these are people reaching out for some support, probably in a scared 'I need to talk to someone about this' way.

I like this forum, its the only BDSM one I have visited and i am grateful that people are so open and willing to share their experiences.

 

[jdmct]

yinyang

Touche

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Okay as a newbie who has asked questions, heres my point of view, seeing as the whole coverstation is based around newbie postings.

Wrong again. The conversation centers around new threads "from a different perspective" on subjects for which threads exist rather than putting your new perspective in said existing thread and enriching that older thread.

The one point that hasn't really been addressed fully is that the 'interaction' aspect is important. To get a chance to interact with people who understand each other on a BDSM level.

And you can't do that why in an older thread?

I for one wouldn't feel comfortable in a chatroom talking about the subject/s at hand. By asking questions, even if they have been repeated, is also a way to get to know people.

Are you saying you can speak of topics on a bulletin board instead of a chatroom, or something else?

Yes I could sit here and do multiple searches (although still having dial up internet in this way out village is a huge problem lol), but I wouldn't be interacting with anyone. How could anyone expect to get involved in a community/forum that ceases to have new threads, albeit repeated ones.

Once again, what prevents you from adding your two cents to a piggy bank that already exists? i also find it interesting that others on dial-up have no problem other than the one mentioned finding old threads and speaking in them again.

How would you get to know me if I never posted for fear of repeating something? And in deed how would I get to know you, buy reading old posts when people change, opinions change?

Well let's see, hmm, how would you posting your questions at the end of any of the pain threads i provided be any different? Try reading Shadowsdream's comments, both original and her latest in this thread: Legs over the head. i found both older and newer comments interesting, and she didn't have to start a new thread to get either point across.

The topics in hand are quite enclosed, and I think the scope for inventing absolute new threads is pretty limited.

Are those your limitations, or your opinion? Corky St. Clair certainly had no problem coming up with an original thread.

I would say as a new poster it can take a lot of courage to step up and write a post, and to have it answered by adding a link, no matter how helpful, is a sure way to stop new posters.

Once again, i have no problem with new posters, just their "new threads" when they can't bother to look in the library, or conduct a simple search. If a new poster wishes to go into lurk mode because they got a link, they need to grow a thicker skin, or do a little reading rather than writing.

I have to add AA that I have been grateful for your links, because I have read some of them and found them informative, but I have also seen the need to get 'out there' and start interacting with people who talk back.

You're quite welcome, but i ask yet again why you need a new thread when you can accomplish the same thing in one that already exists?

 

[YinandYang]

"Wrong again. The conversation centers around new threads "from a different perspective" on subjects for which threads exist rather than putting your new perspective in said existing thread and enriching that older thread."

Can you tell me when the first time I was wrong? On the grand scale of things, does it really matter how I opened my post? It was simply an introduction to the points I wanted to make.


And you can't do that why in an older thread?

Replying to someone who is no longer a part of this forum isn't going to make them jump out and return to cyber space to interact with you is it? So are you saying its ok to add a question on the end of a thread where the question has already been addressed at the start of the thread, rather than just starting a new one? So that in the future if someone runs a search they will simply come up with two threads on the same topic instead of one? And if so, why is this such a problem?

Are you saying you can speak of topics on a bulletin board instead of a chatroom, or something else?

My personal preferences as to how I feel comfortable talking about this topic is irrelevant to this thread. Like I said I wouldn't feel comfortable in a chat room, not because of the topics at hand but because I find it easier perusing and then thinking and then writing, and YES I have read many of the Library topics, months before I started posting.

Are those your limitations, or your opinion? Corky St. Clair certainly had no problem coming up with an original thread.

Well, obviously all of my comments are my own opinions, isnt that what a forum is about? I don't see any new and inventive posts? It seems the limitations are coming not from me, but from the need to organise posts and threads and push them into a category that already exists. Who knows how a thread will go? Just because its been addressed before doesn't make it any less important or worthy of further discussion.

"Once again, i have no problem with new posters, just their "new threads" when they can't bother to look in the library, or conduct a simple search. If a new poster wishes to go into lurk mode because they got a link, they need to grow a thicker skin, or do a little reading rather than writing."

Why do you think my previous post was aimed at you? It was not, it was simply my perspective on things, whether they were right or wrong is irrelevant. This site advocates freedom of speech I believe? And please tell me why should a new poster grow a thicker skin? Why can't a new poster be as they are, wanting to discuss things with people who are in the now, rather than answering threads that is made up of people who don't come here anymore?

"You're quite welcome, but i ask yet again why you need a new thread when you can accomplish the same thing in one that already exists?"

Because this is a forum! If you removed all the posts that have been created, and are duplicates of a thread that had already been started in the past, what would you be left with? A forum that has a minimal turnover, with people less interested in getting involved in, probably something akin to the BDSM Cafe (and no I am not saying the cafe has a minimal turnover, what I am saying is that it is not the place to address issues.)BDSM talk is a place to address real issues with real people, there are a mind field of sites that are read only, and I know this because I have taken the time to search, read including the library on this site. But reading can only take your knowledge so far. I am lucky that I am able to learn both on and off the net, but there are people out there who maybe only just started out in their interest, and have no where else to even start to comprehend these feelings. Thats when a place like Lit can be a good place for someone to start.

I am sorry if you feel my post was aimed at you AA it was not. Power struggles aren't my thing, but being able to speak freely is.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Can you tell me when the first time I was wrong?

Your belief that ...

.... the whole coverstation is based around newbie postings.

For the last time ...

The conversation centers around avoiding the posting of new threads ... on subjects for which threads exist rather than putting your new perspective in said existing thread and enriching that older thread.

Power struggles aren't my thing, but being able to speak freely is.

No one said a word about taking away your right to speak. i simply asked you, and others to do a simple search in the library and the forum overall to find out if a topic previously existed. The example i used, "pain," takes less than a minute to do, regardless if done from dial-up or broadband. You had over a dozen pertinent threads with "pain" in the title alone from which to choose. Some of those threads had replies within the last few months. Some of those threads had replies from posters still on this board. Some of the originators of those threads still post to this board, but please, feel free to post new threads to your heart's content. i would hate to inconvenience you for 60 seconds of your day to find something in your rush to have your voice heard ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/rolleyes.gif

 

[YinandYang]

Your belief that ... For the last time ...

No one said a word about taking away your right to speak. i simply asked you, and others to do a simple search in the library and the forum overall to find out if a topic previously existed. The example i used, "pain," takes less than a minute to do, regardless if done from dial-up or broadband. You had over a dozen pertinent threads with "pain" in the title alone from which to choose. Some of those threads had replies within the last few months. Some of those threads had replies from posters still on this board. Some of the originators of those threads still post to this board, but please, feel free to post new threads to your heart's content. i would hate to inconvenience you for 60 seconds of your day to find something in your rush to have your voice heard ... http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/rolleyes.gif

So.....the bottom line is, that the quotes you use above (which incidently don't seem to have much bearing on postings, threads, archives, or library topics) are all you can come up with to continue this power exchange? I asked you why it was so important that new threads that are duplicated should not be started? I also asked you what would happen if all new posts were deleted, and old ones relied on? I don't see you answering these questions, as you seem to know the reason why the library must be used.

"I would hate to inconvenience you for 60 seconds......"

Well, thats just pure sarcasm, you know nothing about how I live my day, or how I spend my time. I simply asked you honest questions, and put across my view on it, with a hope that some questions could be answered so i might understand WHY posting new threads is such a problem.

 

[A Desert Rose]

So.....the bottom line is, that the quotes you use above (which incidently don't seem to have much bearing on postings, threads, archives, or library topics) are all you can come up with to continue this power exchange? I asked you why it was so important that new threads that are duplicated should not be started?

Here's one reason why...

I came to this forum for the reasons many others come here: the exchange of ideas and information with other more experienced people. Some of these people have been in the lifestyle for a number of years and have "been there-done that." I feel I am fairly experienced in this lifestyle, too.

If I have posted a half dozen times to a thread about "how did you discover your kink" you can rest assured I won't be posting to it again. I am not alone in that. There are a great many "older" posters who are not going to keep repeating their opinions on the same topic over and over and over again either.

Read this carefully, please:
There is nothing wrong with the exchange of fresh ideas. I'm all in favor of it. And I am opposed to stifling the voices of new posters. I am also opposed to stifling the voices of those here who have been here a while and have a wealth of past experiences to draw from. (And yes, some of them are no longer posting here.)

Reinvent the wheel to your heart's content but don't be surprised if your thread only garners 6 replies and all from people who are new to the lifestyle. Most of the rest of us have already opined on "how do I get my SO to spank me."