Tips for a Virgin

[TruPlaya]

hi, this thread isnt exactly the most self confident one, so please be nice.

Anyways, Im 19, Im a virgin.

Last week I met this chick who I really like, and were going out. Shes pretty horny by the stuff we were doing in the car (first date grabbing her tits in the car etc)

Anyways, I have a good feeling next time we go out Itll hit off, but Im totally clueless. Ive watched porn etc etc, and I know *WHAT* to do, but just doing it im nervous about.

To tell the truth, I havent been with a chick for over a year so im very nervous. Im a nice guy but im VERY shy.

even in the car last friday, grabbing her I could feel I was nervous.

Heck, I havent even put on a condom before. Im the defination of clean/virgin.

Just wondering if anyone can give me some pointers to calm the nerves and stuff I can do etc to give her an idea I sorta know what Im doing.

I know shes not a virgin.

Any comments appreciated.

 

[peachykeen]

Just curious - how did you arrive at the name 'TruPlaya'? Seems an odd choice in the circumstance. But, I digress...

I recommend, first of all, that you find a nice setting that is NOT your car. Get a room. Give yourself and your lady friend plenty of time. Take it nice and slow. Why do you feel she needs to be reassured that you "sorta know" what you are doing?

Let yourself explore her body to see what she responds to best. Offer to give her a massage. Start with her feet and work up her legs gently. Knead her buttocks softly and up to her lower back, paying attention to the hips (they are more sensistive than you think). Up the spine and her neck and shoulders, down her arms. Then maybe start to travel back down the route you just came up, except instead of just your hands, use your mouth as well.

The important thing is as you are doing all this, pay attention to how she is responding, what areas of her body seem to be most sensitive. Ask her to communicate with you what feels particularly nice, or,if needed, what she doesn't like.

Your woman doesn't want some sort of 'sex robot' that comes preprogrammed with all the right moves to satisfy any woman. She wants a man that takes time to make her personally feel good.

And, let her reciprocate.

When you feel you are ready for penetrative sex, I would suggest that since you are so young you might want to let her (or maybe the two of you together) masturbate you to orgasm first. It won't take you long to get hard again - and while you are waiting, you can work on returning the favor - and then when you are 'up' again, you'll last a bit longer.

Good luck.

 

[Weird Harold]

Anyways, Im 19, Im a virgin.
...
Heck, I havent even put on a condom before. Im the defination of clean/virgin.
...
Just wondering if anyone can give me some pointers to calm the nerves and stuff I can do etc to give her an idea I sorta know what Im doing.

The condom experience is fairly easy to correct -- buy some condoms, and practice putting them on.

Peachykeen gave you some very good advice.

I would only add that virginity is NOT a STD that you need to hide from your partner. You don't need to make a big issue of it either, but trying to conceal it won't work if your first partner is experienced.

The best advice is to just let things progress, as they inevitably will, at their natural pace. Sexual intercourse isn't rocket science or brain surgery and thinking too much about it is usually counter-productive.

 

[Tine]

Be gentle and caring

To her and to yourself. I agree with everthing Peanchy has said - the more worried and wound up you get the less good it'll be for both of you. You will come very quickly first time - if you are both expecting that, no problem, bring it on as Peachy says, then relax together, exploring each other's bodies. Don't be afraid to talk to her, I'd appreciate that and if she cares for you so will she.

Good luck (and don't give up on the condom!)

 

[Hairgrip]

hey there. truplaya, didn't you post a while back about meeting up with girlies? congratulations.
as i have posted previously... my partner was highly inexperienced when we got together. that's not, by any means, suggesting that i was 'experienced', but i had had more experience than him. if the relationship is based on an understanding and a like of each other then the first time is way easier. if you are going out with her to get your kegs off and screw then if anything goes slightly askew then it will feel considerably worse.
peachykeen, as ever, gives good and realistic advice.
don't expect perfection - the magic of the movies rarely extends to real life. equally if things don't go as well as you hope - you come too early etc, then don't see it as the worst thing that ever happened to you. if she is worth being with on your first time then she should be able to understand that things like that can be laughed at between you later.
the time i fell off my partner whilst dismounting, and rolled out of bed on to the floor, the instance when he made me come so much that i fell asleep within about 30seconds whilst he stayed awake, started working and i woke up a good hour later (dazed and confused, but smiling brightly!) amongst other things make my partner and i giggle still.
take it easy, enjoy yourself, be prepared to laugh, make sure it is the step that you want to take - if it isn't then stop it before it starts.
let us know how it goes, as much as you want to share that is!
Hx

 

[DuckLover]

How long have you been together?

The advice given above is all great as far as mechanics; it will lead to very sensual lovemaking.

I'm a little worried regarding your comments about having just met this girl. As Harold mentioned, you shouldn't be in any rush to lose your virginity. Despite locker room talk, sex does NOT make you a man. Ensure that you are a man (emotionally, not physically) first, THEN consider sex. The ideal should be to never "lose" your virginity, but to deliberately give it to someone important; this gift is perhaps the most special you will ever give anyone-- it can only be given once!

I was fortunate that my first partner was a wonderful woman with whom I was in love. We dated for over a year before having sex, even though she obviously wanted it earlier. She was not a virgin, but was very understanding and caring. Our first time was spontaneous and beautiful, but I wouldn't recommend rushing into it.

Particularly if you are inexperienced with foreplay and other pre-coital acts, I urge you to proceed slowly. Spend time learning how to make her (and you) feel good with touching, kissing, licking and the like. Baseball players don't just land on home plate; they progress through first, second, and thrid base beforehand! Stop and enjoy enjoy each "base", as each one is special and amazing in its own way. There are times to hit a home run, but your first at-bat isn't one of them. Get on base and enjoy being there. Home plate isn't going anyplace.

 

[Different Guy]

Tell her you're a virgin. If she freaks and doesn't like it, you'll know she was shallow and no good to you anyway.

Otherwise, she'll help you. I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months now. I'm a virgin, she's not. We're totally open about it, i'm not embaressed at all. We'd have screwed countless times, although funny as it may seem, we always get interupted just before...

 

[TruPlaya]

Thanks for the replies people!

Hairgrip, yep thats me, funnily enough, my new years resolution was to make the time to hookup and find a nice girl.

Although Im not certain when we are going to do it, or even if we are going to go out, on the car home last friday night I had my hand around her and she took it and put it between her legs and on her breasts (had clothes on though )

Would eating her out be a no no or my first time? Ive always wanted to do it.

I will also deinately tell her im a virgin, even if I wasn't, I doubt the average 19yr old would be fucking like a porn star anyway.

Any tips to get over the nernousness?

 

[Different Guy]

I wouldn't say going down on her straight away would be the best move. Women (you know it!) are hard to please down their and that'll take time for you to get it right on a girl, especially being a first-timer.

I liked the nervousness. The feeling I had when my girlfriend would first touch my penis, or rub my crotch was such a nice feeling. Y'know, didn't take me long at all before I was ready to cum. But now after getting used to the feeling, it's still as nice but I'm not nervous and ready to shoot my load straight away.

But definately be open about it dude. Although, I've always thought, you hardly no each other and you're thinking of foreplay and sex already...? Isn't that a bit quick? I'm 18, have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and we haven't screwed each other yet, not entirely anyway

 

[heavenly body]

Do yourself a favor and take your time. Be honest with her about yourself. IF you decide it is something you both would like to do then make sure it is done when you have privacy and time. Be good to yourself and your partner and use a condom. It helps to reduce sensation a bit and will help with the "fast finish" problem that can occur. My boyfriend told me the first time he had sex he masturbated before he went out so "it took the edge off" so to speak. Arousal is a good thing and the longer it lasts the more explosive the finish.

 

[jaunio14]

I don't think there is anything that anyone can do to cure the nervousness of their first time. Isn't that part of the magic? At least it's supposed to be magic right? You're gonna be nervous when you do anything for the first time. Especially something that is a huge step like having sex.