Time for a tantrum

[MadelynW]

Rargh.

The second version of my story

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=302595

is scoring worse than the first version.

BUT NONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE IT ARE LEAVING FEEDBACK.

How the hell am I meant to improve myself if no one leaves any criticism?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Rargh.

The second version of my story

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=302595

is scoring worse than the first version.

BUT NONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE IT ARE LEAVING FEEDBACK.

How the hell am I meant to improve myself if no one leaves any criticism?

Well...I took a look at it. Your writing seems fine but, the story is on the dull side. It's one long narration. No real interaction between the characters.

 

[_Lynn_]

Well...I took a look at it. Your writing seems fine but, the story is on the dull side. It's one long narration. No real interaction between the characters.

After reading it, I must agree.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

After reading it, I must agree.

Yep. If you tell the story, as you've done here, the characters are flat and wooden. If the characters are flat then the story will follow right along.

Let your characters tell the story. Use dialogue to draw the reader into the action. You can tell the reader all day long who a chacracter is, but if you let the character tell the reader you'll get a lot farther with fewer words. Dialogue gives them personality, attitude and so on. A character the reader can identify with is far more valuable than any manniquen you can discribe.

Here's a good resource ---> http://www.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=122987

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

BUT NONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE IT ARE LEAVING FEEDBACK.

How the hell am I meant to improve myself if no one leaves any criticism?

You might check out the Story Discussion Circle forum.

I've gotten few PC's with writing advice. Most of mine seem to fall into either the "atta boy" or "what a crock" category.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[MadelynW]

Good feedback

Ta for that, folks.

Sorry if I was a bit (a lot) grumpy...

I was trying to write it without dialogue. May have been a mistake.

 

[CeriseNoire]

Rargh.

The second version of my story

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=302595

is scoring worse than the first version.

BUT NONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE IT ARE LEAVING FEEDBACK.

How the hell am I meant to improve myself if no one leaves any criticism?

I advertise my submissions in the Story Feedback forum. That's where I've gotten quick and useful comments.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Ta for that, folks.

Sorry if I was a bit (a lot) grumpy...

I was trying to write it without dialogue. May have been a mistake.

I try to limit dialogue as well. I find it incredibly difficult at times, and in some stories I have written (and not posted) just ends up being dire.

 

[cloudy]

Why would you ever try to limit dialogue?

I don't see the point.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I advertise my submissions in the Story Feedback forum. That's where I've gotten quick and useful comments.

I never do that. It's like saying to the Trolls, "Soup's On. Come and Get It!"

 

[CeriseNoire]

I never do that. It's like saying to the Trolls, "Soup's On. Come and Get It!"

I don't mind the trolls. Their only impact is on one's score. As far a getting useful critiques, Story Feedback had worked wonders for me. Especially with people like you and Elle lurking over there

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I don't mind the trolls. Their only impact is on one's score. As far a getting useful critiques, Story Feedback had worked wonders for me. Especially with people like you and Elle lurking over there

You're sweet, CeriseNoire

 

[The_Fool]

Why would you ever try to limit dialogue?

I don't see the point.

darling,
say nothing.
let our sighs fill the silence
if required.

tongues dance a tango
as I press your hands together
held above your head.

eyes speak out in desperation
as my touch ponders
where it will.

letting your hands go
may have been a mistake,
the aptness of your caresses.

till gasps escape
as your nails rake
in retaliation.

words are not required
as if find how your body
fits with mine.

Oh how well it fits
as bodies slide together
nipples seek to abrade.

breathy rhythms
find their own sequence
in complex negotiations.

form, fit and function
generate dialogue
offering new meaning
to speaking in tongues.

 

[Dar~]

FFFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I never do that. It's like saying to the Trolls, "Soup's On. Come and Get It!"

Me either, I don't advertise any of my work...

 

[CeriseNoire]

Me either, I don't advertise any of my work...

Well, I'm still learning, so I feel that I need the critiques/feedback if I expect to grow.

And Jenny, thanks for the compliment, although black cherries tend to be tangy

 

[Tom Collins]

Why would you ever try to limit dialogue?

I don't see the point.

Well, one good reason is because I can't tell you how many people have told me that my guys talk too much. Seems to me that's the same as saying there's too much dialog in my stories. *shrug*

 

[cloudy]

Well, one good reason is because I can't tell you how many people have told me that my guys talk too much. Seems to me that's the same as saying there's too much dialog in my stories. *shrug*

I don't get that, either.

The whole point of dialogue, to me, is character development. Without it, a story becomes flat and uninteresting.

'course, that's just my opinion, but real people talk, shouldn't characters?

 

[Tom Collins]

I don't get that, either.

The whole point of dialogue, to me, is character development. Without it, a story becomes flat and uninteresting.

'course, that's just my opinion, but real people talk, shouldn't characters?

I agree with you, hun, but apparently there are people who don't think men talk much. I can see where they're coming from. If you ever look at an IM I'm in with a guy, and compare it to one where I'm talking to a girl, there's a huge difference. That is, of course, a generalization, but it's true that guyus don't give long winded answers to things. They tend to stick to one or two word answers, where as I and other fems tend to give full sentences. I have known some very verbose men, but most aren't.

Having said that, that doesn't really limit my dialog all that much. I might try to shorten something to express the meaning in the fewest words I can, but that's about the limit of it.

 

[R. Richard]

Rargh.

The second version of my story

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=302595

is scoring worse than the first version.

BUT NONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE IT ARE LEAVING FEEDBACK.

How the hell am I meant to improve myself if no one leaves any criticism?

Mental telepathy?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Well, I'm still learning, so I feel that I need the critiques/feedback if I expect to grow.

And Jenny, thanks for the compliment, although black cherries tend to be tangy

*shrugs shoulders* I've never advertised any of my work, but then I don't really care if my work gets read or not, the joy is in the creation.

 

[CeriseNoire]

*shrugs shoulders* I've never advertised any of my work, but then I don't really care if my work gets read or not, the joy is in the creation.

Which is why you don't need to advertise. I do have plenty of stories I write just for my own enjoyment, and those I don't post or even share with anyone since their purpose only the momentary peace I get from creating them.

On the other hand, like the thread-starter, I am also trying to improve my writing skills, so that's when the stories I post here (and advertise) come into play. I do did the same thing with my non-erotic writing before that.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Which is why you don't need to advertise. I do have plenty of stories I write just for my own enjoyment, and those I don't post or even share with anyone since their purpose only the momentary peace I get from creating them.

On the other hand, like the thread-starter, I am also trying to improve my writing skills, so that's when the stories I post here (and advertise) come into play. I do did the same thing with my non-erotic writing before that.

If you are interested in real criticism of your work, I suggest you take it to the Story Dicussion Circle.

 

[CeriseNoire]

If you are interested in real criticism of your work, I suggest you take it to the Story Dicussion Circle.

I have been thinking about that, but I figure I should iron out the more obvious kinks in my writing first. I may do that in the summer when I have time to offer a decent level of critique to the other members of the SDC.

 

[Tom Collins]

I have been thinking about that, but I figure I should iron out the more obvious kinks in my writing first. I may do that in the summer when I have time to offer a decent level of critique to the other members of the SDC.

Just out of curiosity, what is it you think you need to work on before seeking critique?