Threesome

[zulueffect]

We (g/f and I ) are wanting to experiment with having threesomes (male and female) and have no idea where to start and where to go from there. Has anyone who's done this before want to let us in on the ways you did everything from finding someone to where you went for it? Thanks.

 

[lost5pints]

Im fairly new here but I know that someone will probably mention this, Go to a website like www.adultfriendfinder.com or other personnals. Post exactly what your looking for and have an attractive picture and you will probably find what your looking for. As for everything else I cant help you since my SO has absolutly no interest so no threesomes for us.

 

[Nefarious]

Call me a corruptive influence. I've guided several women into their first forays into threesome sex. In all the cases, there was already a curiosity present, one that they easily admitted to but had never acted upon. This made it easy. I've never tried to talk anybody into stepping over that line if they weren't into it, but if they could admit to themselves that the idea intrigued them, then we were already half way there!

If your girlfriend shares your desire to experiment, then you're already over the biggest hump. Both of you are apparently not troubled by the jealousy and insecurity issues that serve as a roadblock for those whose relationships are less solid. The most important point for both of you to agree to is that the addition of a third for the purposes of "funsex" should not threaten the primary relationship that you two share.

That said, here's what has worked for me. Make sure that it's not just hormones talking. If a threesome still sounds like a good idea when you're not in the throws of passion, you've passed the next hurdle. Let your partner pick the prospective third, doing so will show that you you aren't being selfish. Help things along by casually making it known to the third that you are cool with it, then back off. I encourage my partner to get together with the third without me being present. Showing to both of them that you really ARE cool with it will do more to make the threesome happen than anything else you can do.

After her return from the "test drive", defuse any potential awkwardness by immediately letting her know how hot the whole situation is, and how great it is that she is so open with you about it all. Follow it up by taking her straight to bed, and show her that sloppy seconds don't trip you out. Next hurdle cleared. Never interogate her about what went on, let her volunteer the details, and be her cheerleader. When both of you can talk about the adventure without the taint of negativity cropping up, you're ready for the next step. If she can go for another "test drive", fresh from sex with you, and the third party doesn't treat her like a lepper, you are cleared for takeoff!

The ladies that I've taken through this process usually chose an ex or a close friend. Don't trip, she's with you by choice, and that's what counts. Show her that you can celebrate her good fortune, and it will end up being your good fortune too!

 

[zulueffect]

Thanks for the input. I think this is something we want to do together. Not necessarily alone first and the together later. The ideas were great anyway tho, thanks.

 

[Flashlight7.5]

Be prepared

Be prepared for many emotions that you have never experienced, good or bad. You are heading into potentially dangerous waters, so tread carefully.

We don't threesome with strangers. We only play with people we know and trust. Good health and safe sex habits are a must. Also, be aware that you may only get one shot at this. If she decides it's not for her, enjoy what you had. Don't pressure her for another.

 

[SexyChele]

Be very certain this is what you want. It all sounds wonderful, and porn videos can make it look terrific, but the reality can be a little more than disappointing.

As far as finding people? You will have no problems finding another male - as long as there is no play between you and him. Men jump at this sort of thing. Be prepared to search a little longer for another woman. (There are many women I would love to play with, but throw their boyfriends or husbands into the mix, and I'm no longer game.) Some people feel more comfortable with friends. Others prefer strangers. There are pros and cons to both. You have to consider all possibilities. Friends are people you will have to see again, and you might not want that. Strangers bring an element of danger into the mix.

Make certain that everyone is upfront and on board with what is going on! Know what is a "go" and what is off limits, and don't wait until the three of you are together to figure that out. My first experience with another woman was supposed to be just her and I experiementing. If things went okay, we were going to allow her husband to watch ONLY. Problem was, the first time we were together, hubby went out, got drunk, then tried to join in. There was a lot of creative thinking on her and my parts to placate him, and neither one of us ended up having a good time. We talked about it later, but it was really too late by then. Trust had been destroyed. If you make a concession to only watch at first, be certain you are able to hold yourself to that. (Frankly, I don't believe men can just "watch" two women together, but that's me.)

Be sure that if you bring in another male, he understands he is to treat your girlfriend with the same respect that you do. I've only had one MMF, and I probably won't do it again because the man that my b/f at the time introduced treated me as a cum recepticle. I had gone into it thinking it would be something new. I ended up crying into my b/f's arms well into the night. I felt cheap and used, he felt he had let me down. It was a long, long time before I had enough trust in him again to try something new.

You might think you have everything planned out and you are prepared. However, you are dealing with other people and that means you cannot control the situation and anything can happen. (Well, unless you go out and get a prostitute - she'll only do what you want her to do.)

Both of my experiences left me without any desire to repeat either one. I might consider a FFM, but the circumstances would have to be just right. All I can suggest is that you be very careful. As Flashlight stated: these could be potentially dangerous waters. It's best to tread lightly and take your time.

 

[lovechild27]

Before you guys go lookin for people...sit down and talk about the implications of having a threesome. Ya it will be fun and hot and kinky...but whats gonna happen when you wake up the next morning? You can both swear that no jealousy will be had...someone almost always end up being burned though!

 

[blkmsk]

I had a threesome once with a girl and a mutual girlfriend. there was a large age difference between my g/f and I, and a few months after the threesome we broke up. Although I don't attribute this to the jealousy issues, it does make me wary of 3ways. My current g/f is interested in getting together with another girl and I. She has dated girls before, but never sexually. She is wanting to experience the sexual side of it, but with me involved. It sounds like a good idea, the circumstances are better, what do you guys think?

 

[lovechild27]

the circumstances are better, what do you guys think?

I think the only good end to be on in a 3- som is to be the third wheel...

I think its a bad idea to venture into this when in relationships...my opinion though and probably much different from the vast majority of lit

 

[ReadyOne]

Personality

I've been reading a book about the interactions between different types of people, type being defined as Briggs-Myers personality type.

Some types demand exclusivity, others don't care. Several will demand loyality but can accept non-exclusivity.

So it appears to me that different sets of people can make it work, and diferent sets are predisposed to trouble (e.g. jealousy).

A quick check of the distrubution of the types suggests that 80%-85% of the population won't do well with multiple partners.

And of course, adding a third (fourth, etc.) increases the possability involving an unfavorable type.