Those Who Are In Control ? Do They Crave To Be Submissive?

[Honeysucklevine]

O.k. folks, you know who you are. I know I am in charge at work and at home. I've had to be for as long as I can remember. However, it would be nice to just let it all go. Just to allow someone else to step in a take charge so I don't have to think so much. ( No stress here. Nope.) Anyway, I think that a submissive sex life would be awfully attractive to others like me. I disagree with someone elses post about subs possibly lacking in self-esteem. I am so full of self-esteem, I could just -------! Well, I have to admit there are times when I wish I could get that extra ten pounds off and get rid of that darn full length mirror in the bedroom! -----------How many of you yearn to be told what to do in your sex life? How many are terrified to let go of the control? How many of you could care less? (just kidding, don't answer that)

 

[A Desert Rose]

Not to shut you down or to stifle discussion, but have you read the library sticky or the mother thread?

There are several threads already in existance on this topic that would be of interest to many.

Where's AngelicAssassin? He can provide links in seconds. I cannot.

And I am a submissive who is "in charge" in other areas of my life.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... How many of you yearn to be told what to do in your sex life? How many are terrified to let go of the control? How many of you could care less? (just kidding, don't answer that)

Try this one on for size first ...

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: Re: Those Who Are In Control ? Do They Crave To Be Submissive?

Try this one on for size first ...

Thank you, AngelicAssassin. You're a wealth of helpfulness! ;-)

 

[bytor2112]

yeah i really want to be told what to do....

what gives emotional cripples???

 

[AngelicAssassin]

O.k. folks, you know who you are.

Here's another

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=99486

 

[fille]

O.k. folks, you know who you are. I know I am in charge at work and at home. I've had to be for as long as I can remember. However, it would be nice to just let it all go. Just to allow someone else to step in a take charge so I don't have to think so much. ( No stress here. Nope.) Anyway, I think that a submissive sex life would be awfully attractive to others like me. I disagree with someone elses post about subs possibly lacking in self-esteem. I am so full of self-esteem, I could just -------! Well, I have to admit there are times when I wish I could get that extra ten pounds off and get rid of that darn full length mirror in the bedroom! -----------How many of you yearn to be told what to do in your sex life? How many are terrified to let go of the control? How many of you could care less? (just kidding, don't answer that)

This describes me all over - I have a highly charged professional job in which I am in complete control. When I get home to my husband, we share equally in most matters. However, when he takes me to bed, he is completely in control and I love it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Oh man... Artful, again.

I sure do miss him....

 

[fallon2]

Never

Never have yearned to be sub in any way but I do appreciate a good sub!

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Desert Rose, of course I read the first how-to threads but did I read it twice? Noooooooooooooo. I just jumped in with the sharks baby! Thanks for the reminder. Anyway, getting back to topic, I think being submissive or dominant for that matter is a PROCESS. I for one am not an expert however Angelic may be. By the way, I love that surfer dude/shark photo of his.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Desert Rose, of course I read the first how-to threads but did I read it twice? Noooooooooooooo. I just jumped in with the sharks baby! Thanks for the reminder. Anyway, getting back to topic, I think being submissive or dominant for that matter is a PROCESS. I for one am not an expert however Angelic may be. By the way, I love that surfer dude/shark photo of his.

There is nothing catty in my comments to you. This particular topic has been talked-on numerous times in this forum. I was only suggetsting to you and others, that there is a great deal of information on this in the library and the mother thread.

Please, carry on.

 

[Vixandra]

Firstly- welcome to Lit and the BDSM side of things. Ignore the trolls (ie the ones spouting how we all must be horribly fucked up in the head to enjoy what we enjoy). Take everything with a grain of salt... or a pound of salt and a gallon of soy sauce to wash it down (yeah, I've been in Japan tooooo long)

Anyway, getting back to topic, I think being submissive or dominant for that matter is a PROCESS.

I'm curious- what exactly did you mean by that?
I'm not certain how its a process- as if someone is made by intent or coincidence into a dom or sub.
A balanced person, I believe, has both sides of the coin, some stronger then others. My coin- about 90% dominant (the other ten's reserved for DH's puppy dog look- who can be dominant to that?!?)
So how is it a process? Or do mean the way they find and explore what they are as being a process?

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Firstly- welcome to Lit and the BDSM side of things. Ignore the trolls (ie the ones spouting how we all must be horribly fucked up in the head to enjoy what we enjoy). Take everything with a grain of salt... or a pound of salt and a gallon of soy sauce to wash it down (yeah, I've been in Japan tooooo long)



I'm curious- what exactly did you mean by that?
I'm not certain how its a process- as if someone is made by intent or coincidence into a dom or sub.
A balanced person, I believe, has both sides of the coin, some stronger then others. My coin- about 90% dominant (the other ten's reserved for DH's puppy dog look- who can be dominant to that?!?)
So how is it a process? Or do mean the way they find and explore what they are as being a process?

I couldn't have said it better. The PROCESS is finding their way with exploration. Also, Desert Rose, you didn't sound catty at all. Very helpful in fact. (please excuse my fragmented sentences)

 

[redelicious]

How many of you yearn to be told what to do in your sex life? How many are terrified to let go of the control?

Count me in for both, though I'm not as scared as I used to be (but then I'm not in any real danger of having to let go either).

Welcome to Lit.

 

[Honeysucklevine]

I've done it before. Really let down my guard. Felt good. This was in college. Ahhhh, the days.

 

[Netzach]

There are days I want to be told what to eat ,do, wear, where to go, and lie back and be screwed totally stupid. Sure. And I really only trust my slave boy to manage these things well for me.

I don't really think this makes me "a submissive" or "a switch" I just think it means that sometimes I need to re-set.

The reporter Ann Garrels was interviewed with her husband, this is the NPR lady of "naked in Baghdad" fame. He said when she gets back from her assignments, usually tough and crazy ones, she shuts down and can't remember basic directions and mostly gardens a lot and lets him make the decisions.

Made sense to me.

 

[Honeysucklevine]

You got it. Re-setting. Achieving balance. Re-booting. That's right, why must those who try to strike a balance be labeled as a "Switch"? (rhetorical question). Now,where are my stilletos!

 

[Etoile]

The reporter Ann Garrels was interviewed with her husband, this is the NPR lady of "naked in Baghdad" fame. He said when she gets back from her assignments, usually tough and crazy ones, she shuts down and can't remember basic directions and mostly gardens a lot and lets him make the decisions.

I wouldn't say that means she and her husband are into BDSM, though. I'd totally expect somebody to be non-functional after coming back from a tough assignment. Sometimes you just need somebody to take over for a while.

And I am a complete NPR junkie!

 

[James in Tx]

Those in control

I prefer the control. Maybe it was those dreams I had when young.................
At times (with me at least) it is not so much as having the control as knowing someone else knowingly is submitting the control to you and enjoys it. That can be a turn on.

 

[Netzach]

I wouldn't say that means she and her husband are into BDSM, though. I'd totally expect somebody to be non-functional after coming back from a tough assignment. Sometimes you just need somebody to take over for a while.

And I am a complete NPR junkie!

I agree, I don't think Ann Garrels is heavy into the cuffs for this reason, but it seems to kind of illustrate the idea.