This question is for Doms and subs.

[Angelofsex]

I just started with a new Dom. He hasn't open up to me much, but he wants to know me.

Thinking of the relationship, how long does it take for both to open up?

Doms- Are you open to your sub about everything in your life?

Subs- The same question for you telling your Doms everything.

 

[Goddess Helena]

Good question, Angelofsex.
We knew each other slightly before we began to talk about playing together. It took time to grow a strong friendship/bond that is still to this day based on trust.
As things come up in our lives, we share when we feel the need. Either for comfort or advice or just to vent.
There are things about me that my boy will never know because he does not need to. However, he does know what I think he should know and he is always welcome to ask me anything that he likes.
I wish I could put a time limit on it for you, but I cannot. I think it is about how a relationship is progressing.

I hope things go well with your new Dom.


Helena

 

[Ebonyfire]

I agree with Helena

I try to spend a lot of time talking to them about life in general. I also make sure we spend time doing non-BDSM things, so that we develop a friendship too.

you discuss the things that matter to one or both of you.

Sometimes the conversation is deep, and sometimes it is shallow and superficial. it just depends.

I expect full disclosure to the questions I ask, and I try to be candid to my boys. They tell me I know them better than their family, and I suppose I do. I do not judge.

It just takes time.

Ebony

 

[Angelofsex]

I want to thank you Goddess Helena and Ebonyfire for answering my questions. Because I have really been wondering about the opening your life to one another,

Also thank you for wishing me good luck with my new Dom.

 

[NemoAlia]

So, angel... is he online? or real-life? do we know him? is he absolutely wonderful?

Do tell!

 

[Goddess Helena]

Angelofsex, you are very welcome.

I am called Helena, btw.


Helena

 

[Moyds_jewel]

Aos, hello again sis

It was such a shock/revelation to me, to finally put a name to that "different" feeling inside me. And thanks to some wonderful D/s people who gave me resources and reading material (which I did and do devour), I found lots of helpful information including journals online by other submissives.

I started a journal of my own, before I ever had a Master. To give me a place to record D/s insights, anxieties, fears, emotions, since I am...(how does one put this??)...word-fixated?

Once I found and bonded with a Dom, I asked his permission to continue it which he freely gave. My Master has always been completely open with me, which I appreciate and value. In retrospect, I believe his openness fostered my trust in him.

I share my journal with him frequently. Sometimes it is a way to share thoughts/emotions/needs that I have difficulty expressing directly. Sometimes I want him to know I have crossed a limit I had not previously recognized. Sometimes I am curious if he viewed an event between us in the same light.

While we can and do discuss much of this when we are together...I "revisit" events in my journal when new thoughts, perspectives, or insights occur to me. Though I started the journal as a way of "tracking" my submissive development, I often include every-day general life thoughts as well.

I believe the journal has been a valuable communication tool between us right from the start. Between it and our direct conversations, I tell him everything.

Please accept my best wishes in your relationship with your new Dom. May it be all that you desire.

__________________
I am all joy to be His

 

[Ricckk]

Thinking of the relationship, how long does it take for both to open up?

Doms- Are you open to your sub about everything in your life?

Subs- The same question for you telling your Doms everything.

Congratulations, Angelofsex! I think a lot of what you are asking depends on your personalities. Some people open up more easily than others do. Some want to know more about others as well.

I am and have always been quite open with my sub, but that is my nature in general. Her nature is more "guarded" than mine, consequently opening up was more difficult for her at first. It was not that she was trying to hide anything, just that she hid certain things from herself if that makes any sense. So for me, seeing into her heart and soul was/is like opening a gift.

 

[MissTaken]

When a Dom and sub are getting to know one another, it should be based on honesty. Honesty does not assume openess.

Getting to know a Dom, for me, is much like getting to know anyone on line. There are lines that I won't cross. Secrets to be kept until trust is built, but anything that is told, must be the truth.

So, eventually, it would be hoped that two best friends, two vanilla lover or a Dom/me and sub, know as much about one another as is humanly possible.

It all takes time.

 

[silken_kitten]

I believe Master and I talk a lot about everything
even the remedial items of how everything at work went.

To the deeper aspect of my feelings durring sessions.

So communication is a key role in our relationship.
That is something that I charish about us as well.

 

[Angelofsex]

Helena thank you for your kind words.

NemoAlia he is a online Dom. Who is very kind and honest. Hec seem to know me real well. Thank you for asking. No he isn't a member of lit., he does come in and looks around.

jewel..thank you for sharing to of you feelings. The idea about a journal is a good one.


Ricckk..It is nice that you are open with your sub. As the other Dom/mes has said they were too. The relationship to me makes it very special then..The trust and being honest is very important..Without it what kind would it be then...if not sharing ones life,thank you.

MissTaken.. It does mean alot to know one another better. For it forms a friendship too. Thank you Miss T.

silken_kitten..For a Dom/s to talk about everything means they have alot going for both of them, thank you.