this just broke my heart

[cloudy]

On the bright side. The boy sounded polite and has a good friend and a good friend with a good mom.

the sad thing is, these are really good kids.

Cat: We're old school in a lot of ways, my friend...hospitality being one of those.

 

[babiesmiles]

On the bright side. The boy sounded polite and has a good friend and a good friend with a good mom.

That's sure !

 

[WARNINGWARNING]

At my "old school" we were taught to wait until everyone was served. It was also understood that more often than not, younger children needed to eat sooner.

 

[cantdog]

You can have an impact, cloudy. It is sad that it has to fall on you, but really, not everyone is cut out for parenting. Mythology to the contrary, being female doesn't guarantee being capable of mothering. Hell, I do it better than a lot of women I've met! We had a few virtual orphans in to eat at our house, when ours were that age. They were always the ones who clearly had not been taken seriously or listened to, either.

Thanks for being you.

 

[Hooper_X]

This doesn't seem at all odd to me. As a child I would've never felt the need to ask for seconds at home. However, if I was eating at a friend's house I would have done so just to maintain the facade of civility.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I don't know. Waiting until everyone is served I think is fine. Everyone serving themselves is too. But feeding the children first and then the adults later just seems odd to me. I came from a household where everyone ate at the same time. It made conversations a little more entertaining (conversation is everything in our household) because you never knew who would say what.

There was always enough food for everyone too, but I am a picky eater, and hardly like anything, so I never had to ask for seconds of most meals, because I didn't wants firsts...

 

[MagicaPractica]

When I was growing up, Mom tried, but there was never enough for seconds. She made sure everybody got a fair share but if you were still hungry, that's just the way it was. Glad you are here for those two boys.

 

[cloudy]

This doesn't seem at all odd to me. As a child I would've never felt the need to ask for seconds at home. However, if I was eating at a friend's house I would have done so just to maintain the facade of civility.

I understand, but this wasn't seconds, it was firsts. I guess the history with these kids is what makes this stand out so much for me.

When I was growing up, Mom tried, but there was never enough for seconds. She made sure everybody got a fair share but if you were still hungry, that's just the way it was. Glad you are here for those two boys.

Thanks. And....that may be the case at their house. These boys are two of six kids.

 

[damnewc]

In a word, probably. Otherwise, he wouldn't have asked, I think. It's sad, but either because of poverty or neglect or abuse, some growing kids are not fed as they should be. Not that I favor obesity. Just a healthy appetite for a growing kid. Their metabolism is higher, after all.

I can see why you deem it sad. I would too.

Obesity is not good, but it beats the hell out of the other extreme. Starvation.

 

[damnewc]

When I was growing up, Mom tried, but there was never enough for seconds. She made sure everybody got a fair share but if you were still hungry, that's just the way it was. Glad you are here for those two boys.

I just read 'Good Samaritan'. Very good story, I was excited by it.

 

[SeaCat]

I moved to Cape Cod when I was 15 or so. My first summer was hard, we didn't have a lot. (Not that this was anything new.) Not being able to hunt I signed on with a fishing boat for the summer. It wasn't easy but it paid and I was able to bring home a lot of fish at the end of each trip. I did this all summer and on the weekends during the school year.

My parents fortunes turned and we started getting some good money in, I kept on working though. It was in me, I had to work. I bought my first car at 15 1/2 with my own money. I paid my own way and helped feed my family.

I almost died when I was 16, but as son as I was able I was back on the boats.

At 17 I made a friend in school. His parents were divorced and he had shit for a home life. He ended up spending more time at our house than at his. (My father and I made a bedroom for him in the basement.)

When we graduated High School he went into the Army and I went to Europe. He went Special Forces and I went into Security. He was official and I wasn't. We kept in touch. We still do.

To him, his oldest and most enduring memory of me is my coming hme from the boats smelling and looking like death warmed over with the back of my car loaded with fish. As I got cleaned up to go to High School my parents would haul the fish to the kitchen and start cleaning and packaging it for the next week of meals.

He is still a part of my family. He has helped my parents several times. He is the one who is there for my parents when I can't be there. He is there because I accepted him, and my parents accepted him.

Cat

 

[cloudy]

Cat...

My parents always took in the "outcasts" - friends of one of my siblings, or mine that were kicked out by their parents, ran away from home, or whatever. My dad was the only one that worked, and there were five of us kids, plus my oldest sister's child - not counting the extras that came and went. If I said money was tight, it would be a huge understatement.

They may have had to bunk in with someone (there weren't that many bedrooms), but they had a bed, regular meals, and a large, rowdy, but loving surrogate family as long as they needed it.

I suppose I've continued the tradition, just didn't figure it would start at such a young age as these.

 

[SeaCat]

Cat...

My parents always took in the "outcasts" - friends of one of my siblings, or mine that were kicked out by their parents, ran away from home, or whatever. My dad was the only one that worked, and there were five of us kids, plus my oldest sister's child - not counting the extras that came and went. If I said money was tight, it would be a huge understatement.

They may have had to bunk in with someone (there weren't that many bedrooms), but they had a bed, regular meals, and a large, rowdy, but loving surrogate family as long as they needed it.

I suppose I've continued the tradition, just didn't figure it would start at such a young age as these.

Cloudy,

Unfortunately it starts sometimes when they are old enough to walk.

Sometimes though you get tired.

When my sister went to jail it was up to me to take in two of her daughters. (My darling brother was too busy.) I raised them for several years before their mother was released on parole. The courts at first allowed her visitation rights then custody. Within a year of their return to her they were both on drugs and one of them was pregnant. (She was 15.)

They seemed to think I owed them something. They tried to break up my marriage with their lies. (One of the reasons I left New England after the Fiasco with the house.) They were quite upset that I had left.

About a year ago the oldest contacted me. She had been talking with my mother and learned a few things. We chatted for several months on the Internet. Soon after we started chatting, (And this was the first time I had any contact with her since she went back to her mother.) she left her husband. She is now happily married to another. She tells me that the things she has learned from me, both while I was raising her and from chatting with her has helped her. She says that now she understands what I was trying to teach her when she lived with me. She has not only gotten her G.E.D. but she has enrolled in college. She talks with me at least once a week, while talking with her mother and siblings maybe once a month. Two months ago she appologised for trying to break up my wife and myself. As she put it she listened only to her mother, she heard only what her mother told her. She knows now what the lies were.

Recently she had a little one. His first name is mine. In the E-Mail she sent me about this she told me that she hoped he would grow up with the same values about family and friends I had. What more can I ask?

Cat

 

[cloudy]

Cloudy,

Unfortunately it starts sometimes when they are old enough to walk.

Sometimes though you get tired.

Yes. I'm tired now. (yes, they're still here)

I took all three of the kids to McDonald's for lunch on Saturday, and let them play on the playground. Three growing boys plus me for lunch there isn't cheap, and I dont have a lot of money, but it was fun for them, so I did it as a treat.

They've been here since Friday night, and I've cooked two meals a day for them since they've been here, plus made sandwiches/hotdogs/snacks during the day as needed - and it's needed a LOT. They're boys. I bought over $100 in groceries on Wednesday, and although there's still food in the house, it's getting seriously depleted.

Yesterday, one of them (not mine, he knows better) asks me "Are we going anywhere today?"

"I don't know...why? Where are you wanting to go?"

Smug smile on his face. "Oh, out to get something to eat."

"um....no."

It's past time for them to go home when they've started to take advantage of my kindness.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Yes. I'm tired now. (yes, they're still here)

I took all three of the kids to McDonald's for lunch on Saturday, and let them play on the playground. Three growing boys plus me for lunch there isn't cheap, and I dont have a lot of money, but it was fun for them, so I did it as a treat.

They've been here since Friday night, and I've cooked two meals a day for them since they've been here, plus made sandwiches/hotdogs/snacks during the day as needed - and it's needed a LOT. They're boys. I bought over $100 in groceries on Wednesday, and although there's still food in the house, it's getting seriously depleted.

Yesterday, one of them (not mine, he knows better) asks me "Are we going anywhere today?"

"I don't know...why? Where are you wanting to go?"

Smug smile on his face. "Oh, out to get something to eat."

"um....no."

It's past time for them to go home when they've started to take advantage of my kindness.

When I was little a group of us would run to each others houses right after dinner time, looking hungry, and asking if there was any dessert left. It taught us many important lifelong lessons like:

Its hard to run after eating apple pie with two scoops of ice cream.