*** This is a serious question.***

[Guest]

Ok....so if one partner can't actively participate for some reason, let's say they are not home alone, but they want to pleasure their partner, and don't reveal they aren't actively participating...that is deception? A lie? Even when it was to bring their partner pleasure?

A lie is a lie... whatever the reason. No matter what the motive.. you are deceiveing the person if you are saying you are getting off and you're not. If you simply say you can't but are willing to help get your partner off... that's not deception... I must admit I don't understand the question fully I think.

For myself... My partner going "I can't today, because of xxxx reason, but..you sure can, let's do that?" is just about the surest way to spoil the mood in the world. But then lying isn't good either.

I'd hope she'd just say she wasn't in the mood or able.. if she wasn't.... that'd be fine. I'm happy to wait until we both are.

 

[CaliGuy60]

I actively participate. If I don't feel like it, then I tell them. It's much more fun to have both parties involved.

Me too, though I very rarely cyber just because of the logistical complexity of typing. More typing = less horny. This is why when I do cyber, I give to the woman a lot, I type quite a lot and have her say nothing, or just say "y" or "n" so that she can concentrate on her horny. The other reason I so rarely cyber is that "receiving" cyber is totally unarousing to me. Does nothing. Even if I hear it on the phone, it's still not arousing. I don't mind giving, to someone who appreciates it. And then I get off on her arousal.

 

[littlelovedove]

Unfortuantely, or fortunately I give so much more than I probably receive. Whether phone or cybering, what I am saying or what I am feeling is 'real' for me. Call me what you will, but if we are being honest here..............then for me I really AM getting into it. But as for the other person it is more obvious phone-wise if one is "faking" then cyber. Obviously I can't tell if someone is enjoying what is being said or whether they are actually masturbating as well.........mostly I am naive and imagine they are, unless of course they are honest with me one way or the other.