This has got to be the Literotica one.

[torchthebitch]

Creepy things children say to parents becomes Reddit hit
A list of the most chilling things children say to their parents has become a hit on the online-forum Reddit, gaining more than 10,000 comments in less than 24 hours.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ildren-say-to-parents-becomes-Reddit-hit.html

My daughter is four and has taken to telling nonsensical knock-knock jokes (e.g. "Why did the Mama cross the road? Because her arms were noodles!"). One day she busts this one out:
Why did the butt cross the road?
Because it had a plug in it!
I have never felt so many conflicting emotions about my child.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2v7i/parents_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiest_thing/

 

[torchthebitch]

My son (about 6) asked my mother to lay down on her stomach, then he sat on her butt and started bouncing up and down and proclaimed, "Now we're mating like reptiles!" Thanks Discovery Channel!

Ewwww!

 

[torchthebitch]

Getting my two and a half year old daughter out of the bath one night, my wife and I were briefing her on how important it was she kept her privates clean. She casually replied "Oh, nobody 'scroofs' me there. They tried one night. They kicked the door in and tried but I fought back. I died and now I'm here." She said this like it was nothing.

Now that's worrying.

 

[VaticanAssassin]

User Psalm-96 told one chilling tale after having been sunburnt on holiday: "I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my four-year-old daughter's face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, 'I want to peel all your skin off."


"My three-year-old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for a while then turned and looked at me and said, 'Daddy, it's a monster we should bury it."

 

[HankSlocum]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ildren-say-to-parents-becomes-Reddit-hit.html http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2v7i/parents_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiest_thing/

 

[torchthebitch]

When I was about 4, I would remember talking to "Mr.Peterson" whenever I was at my grandmothers house. He looked like a hobo from the great depression and had a guitar and sang me old timey blues, he told me that he died when he fell of a train he was riding whist drunk on moonshine. I stopped seeing him when I was about 6.
Anyway, 6 months ago I found my dads old acoustic guitar and started playing, and my little cousin told me "Mr.Peterson is proud of you!" And left.
I dont know what to think

I do.

 

[handysr]

Even as a "manly man" I am not afraid to say I've never been so creeper out by little kids.

(shudder)

 

[pointless]

when my niece was two or three she told her mother that she killed children and made their mothers cry. that was my fault. also, jello biafra's.

 

[pointless]

just to clue you in if you suck and hate good things: i kill children.

also, i think it actually might have been the opening line she repeated. i don't know. i was smoking a lot of pot and tripping acid back then. anyway, it was one of the two.

she also loved this when she was a wee one. a little fyi, a toddler giddily chanting "screaming babies" is oddly amusing.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The kids learn this stuff at school after their teachers spend the night stowing aboard a few gourds of OLD NEW DEALER Kool Aid and inventing talking points to throw at parents who wonder why Johnny cant read. CUZ I WANNA PEEL THE HAIR OFF YOUR EYEBALLS.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

*clicks