This ever happen to you?

[Jay Davis]

I was browsing through the forums today when I got a pm from a total stranger, claiming to be a lady who needed suggestions as to what to do with some new toys she'd just purchased. I checked "her" profile--completely blank, and post-count zero. Oh, and the account was made today.

I politely replied how could I help her, and she basically repeated the same message, hinting very broadly about cybersex. I PMed her back, saying that I hoped she found the help she was looking for, but I wasn't her guy.

Basically, I was skeeved out by the situation. I'm not a big cyber-er, but I've flirted to conclusion a time or two along the way, so it's not that I'm a prude. I just felt suspicious of a total stranger, with no known identity and no history in the forums, PMing me out of the blue for cybersex. She didn't even say that she'd read my posts or my stories--I think I was just a random hit.

Has this ever happened to anyone else, and if so, how did you handle it?

 

[graceanne]

LOL Yeah, I get that sometimes too. And it's always people with new accounts, cause people who've been here a while would know that I don't cyber. They always start out with things like "I liked your comment in the bdsm forum", implying that they read on this forum. But when I tell them my master won't allow cybering, they say "He what? Why do you have to do what he tells you?" I normally just stop talking to them at that point. As far as I'm concerned they're either (a) realy stupid, and figured a sub would be an easy lay or (b) a liar and figured a sub would be an easy lay.

 

[FurryFury]

Sorry Jay and Graceanne I'll stop asking y'all to cyber.

Just kidding.

Sure it happens.

The funny thing is I'm no longer into cyber with most anyone. Once upon a time I would have hit any ball that came my way but no longer.

Now I have to really want to make the other person happy. Once it was about me. Me is done!

LOL!

Fury

 

[Private_Label]

Re: 0 post and profiles

I was browsing through the forums today when I got a pm from a total stranger, claiming to be a lady who needed suggestions as to what to do with some new toys she'd just purchased. I checked "her" profile--completely blank, and post-count zero. Oh, and the account was made today.

Lots, especially after I briefly had an avatar that was my clevage.

Funny how switching to a non sexual related av cut that number way down.

Most of them I reply politiely the first time, and ask about non sexual interests. If they reply with that info, then they are worth talking to for a bit, but generally they don't respond when I don't offer to hop right into cyber-bed with them. I generally turn down the ones with 0 posts and no details in their profiles, and no stories to their name... and some of them have been members of Lit for YEARS. It also becomes pretty obvious which ones have bothered to read my profile. (A few of the "True Doms" who insisted I do certain things when contacting them LOL)

OTOH I have been contacted by a few people who haven't posted very much, that have been very helpful in providing me with food for thought as I learn more about myself and my reactions to D/s - but that was in response to a specific post I had placed on the forum. I really value their input on things.

Luckily once I get to mentioning desiring a LTR partner, a few have mentioned they are married - at which point I have politiely stated that I am not looking for that type of relationship.

I've only had one weenie whacker that PMed me every 20 seconds - I tried to politely tell him to not do that - but I had to get angry at him and put him on ignore to get him to stop. ^shrug^

Maybe the new lady is intrigued enough by you that she is coming out of lurker mode- or maybe it is a troll... but there is only one way to tell and that is to give her enough rope ...

 

[Marquis]

Has this ever happened to anyone else, and if so, how did you handle it?

Yes and I gave KC just what she had coming.

 

[FurryFury]

I flirt with folks. I'm a flirter, but they kind of have to invite the harder stuff and even then...I'm not that into it anymore, but now conversations?

Yeah! That can be cool unless it's the "hey entertain me I'm bored thing."

Then I just tell them I can think of things for them to do, like clean thier rooms! Ha!

Fury

 

[Vixandra]

Either I don't post oft enough or I'm just not that popular these days.
Been quite some time since I got a random PM asking to cyber, at least here anyway.
Now CM.Com..... I get some annoying stuff there but that's expected.

Anyway- its a kind of compliment in a backwards way. If you see it in a "they wanted my input on how to achieve one of the most nifty things a person can" type of way.

 

[tealsphynx]

I didn't until I posted a pic thread, then I got a few. Some of them tried to be really sly about it, but that's all they really wanted. I get it more on my YIM than in my PM box. But I figure that's what the Iggy button is for. If they don't want to respect my "no" to cyber and they keep trying I figure they're posts aren't worth my time either, then the problem stops.

 

[Jay Davis]

Well, Vixandra, if "she" had offered any clue at all that "she'd" read anything I'd written, I might not have been so put off. But frankly, I'm just not going to have cyber-sex with a cyber-stranger; it would have to be someone for whom I felt a cyber-attraction, you know?

Now, on the other hand...Fury, if that WAS you, you should have just said so! I'd have reacted completely differently!

Anyway, I guess I just haven't hung out on enough sex forums to get one of these cyber-trawlers before. Since my handle here is plainly male, and since most of the cyber-cruisers are looking for cyber-chicks, I don't expect it's going to come up again any time soon.

Anyway, the whole circumstance just felt icky, like some total stranger was asking me to perform for them. That's pretty much what women put up with in most social situations, isn't it?

 

[naughtygirl69s]

i get it all the time, usually i just dont respond.

i agree with what others said....

 

[justen]

Gorgeous avatar.

 

[DVS]

Lots, especially after I briefly had an avatar that was my clevage.

Funny how switching to a non sexual related av cut that number way down.

You're kidding me. That isn't a dildo and a butt plug in your AV?

 

[DVS]

Well, Vixandra, if "she" had offered any clue at all that "she'd" read anything I'd written, I might not have been so put off. But frankly, I'm just not going to have cyber-sex with a cyber-stranger; it would have to be someone for whom I felt a cyber-attraction, you know?

Don't give them any amunition they don't already have.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Yes and I gave KC just what she had coming.

and it was wonderful (joking)
but anyway...ive has some pretty nasty persistant PMers...i dont think i ever put anyone on ignore, just deleted their messages and they eventually stopped.