I came up with this list in response to a "story cliche" thread. New numbers came popping into my head, so I stopped. You can add more if you like...
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM DIRTY STORIES ON THE 'NET
1. All women are bisexual. Any supposedly straight women will enter a sexual relationship with another woman with just a little coaxing. Any who have never done so have always been "curious" about it.
2. Semen is quite tasty. Rumors that some people find it to be unpleasant are untrue.
3. 95% of all women do not wear undergarments. Ever.
4. All Strippers are sexually attracted to all their customers. Sure, a lap dance costs $20, but they'd give you one for free.
5. When sexually aroused, women will produce enough natural lubricant to completely soak through their panties and/or drip down their thighs. (Though, only 5% of women wear panties.)
6. Though the average size of an erect penis is 5-6 inches, 90% of them are at least 8.
7. Teenage girls instinctively perform oral sex "like a pro," especially on their first attempt.
8. cheerleader = nymphomaniac
9. A man wants his girlfriend or wife to have sex with all of his friends while he watches. Preferably, all of them at once.
10. Condoms are uncommonly used, since sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies are extremely rare.
11. All males are attracted to their mothers and/or sisters. All females are attracted to their brothers and/or fathers and/or sisters and/or mothers.
12. During sex, all people like to talk dirty. Women enjoy being called "slut", "bitch, and "whore".
13. Despite its supposed rarity, female ejaculation accompanies nearly all female orgasms.
14. The amount of semen a man produces during ejaculation can be measured in pints, and is always sufficient to cover a woman's entire face.
15. Men can achieve erection, orgasm and ejaculation an indefinite number of times. Per hour.
16. Parents often leave their teenagers alone in their house for days and weeks at a time.
17. Any family member who catches two other family members having sex will become instantly aroused and join them.
(By the way, though this post makes fun of the above things, I undoubtedly have done many of these in my own stories...)
- Zelger
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM DIRTY STORIES ON THE 'NET
1. All women are bisexual. Any supposedly straight women will enter a sexual relationship with another woman with just a little coaxing. Any who have never done so have always been "curious" about it.
2. Semen is quite tasty. Rumors that some people find it to be unpleasant are untrue.
3. 95% of all women do not wear undergarments. Ever.
4. All Strippers are sexually attracted to all their customers. Sure, a lap dance costs $20, but they'd give you one for free.
5. When sexually aroused, women will produce enough natural lubricant to completely soak through their panties and/or drip down their thighs. (Though, only 5% of women wear panties.)
6. Though the average size of an erect penis is 5-6 inches, 90% of them are at least 8.
7. Teenage girls instinctively perform oral sex "like a pro," especially on their first attempt.
8. cheerleader = nymphomaniac
9. A man wants his girlfriend or wife to have sex with all of his friends while he watches. Preferably, all of them at once.
10. Condoms are uncommonly used, since sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancies are extremely rare.
11. All males are attracted to their mothers and/or sisters. All females are attracted to their brothers and/or fathers and/or sisters and/or mothers.
12. During sex, all people like to talk dirty. Women enjoy being called "slut", "bitch, and "whore".
13. Despite its supposed rarity, female ejaculation accompanies nearly all female orgasms.
14. The amount of semen a man produces during ejaculation can be measured in pints, and is always sufficient to cover a woman's entire face.
15. Men can achieve erection, orgasm and ejaculation an indefinite number of times. Per hour.
16. Parents often leave their teenagers alone in their house for days and weeks at a time.
17. Any family member who catches two other family members having sex will become instantly aroused and join them.
(By the way, though this post makes fun of the above things, I undoubtedly have done many of these in my own stories...)
- Zelger
Thanks for bursting my bubble
