They don't write songs like they used to...

[oggbashan]

From the Gert and Daisy Song Book (Elsie and Doris Waters) given away free with Home Companion for 30th January 1937:

You can't do that there 'ere.

Oh, you can't do that there 'ere,
No, you can't do that there 'ere,
Anywhere else you can do that there,
But you can't do that there 'ere.

Repeat ad lib.

The Barrers in the Walworth Road
(Barrers = Market traders’ Barrows or mobile stalls)

They’ve got cottons, they’ve got silks,
They’ve got winkles, they’ve got whelks,
On the barrers in the Walworth Road.

You can get some lovely tripe,
Or a nice to-baccy pipe,
Off the barrers in the Walworth Road.

You can get a toy balloon, or a silver plated spoon,
Or a goldfish, or a frog or toad,
You can get a prime codfish, with a face like Lilian Gish
Off the barrers in the Walworth Road.

Og

 

[R. Richard]

"You can get a toy balloon, or a silver plated spoon,
Or a goldfish, or a frog or toad,
You can get a prime codfish, with a face like Lilian Gish
Off the barrers in the Walworth Road."

IIRC, the Cockney slang for fish is 'Lilian Gish?'

 

[Goldie Munro]

Dont know who wrote it or how old it is but my fav is:

Daisy Daisy
Give me your answer do!
Im half crazy over the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage
I cant afford a carridge
But you'll look sweet
Upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two!

xx

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

The Babbitt and the Bromide

From the M-G-M Picture "Ziegfeld Follies"
Music by George Gershwin; Lyric by Ira Gershwin
© 1927 (Renewed) WB Music Corp.
Performed by Fred Astaire and Gene Kelly




A Babbitt met a Bromide on the avenue one day.
They held a conversation in their own peculiar way.
They both were solid citizens- They both had been around.
And as they spoke you clearly saw their feet were on the ground.


Hello! How are you?
Howza folks? What's new?
I'm great! That's good!
Ha! Ha! Knock wood!
Well! Well! That's Life!
Whatd'ya know? How's the wife?
Gotta run! Oh my!
Ta Ta! Olive Oil! Good-bye!


Ten years went quickly by for both these sub-sti-an-tial men,
And then it happened that one day they chanced to meet again.
That they have both developed in ten years there was no doubt,
And so of course they had an awful lot to talk about:


Hello! How are you?
Howza folks? What's new?
I'm great! That's good!
Ha! Ha! Knock wood!
Well! Well! That's Life!
Whatd'ya know? How's the wife?
Gotta run! Oh my!
Ta Ta! Olive Oil! Good-bye!


Before they met again some twenty years they had to wait.
This time it happened up above, inside St. Peter's gate.
A harp each one was carrying and both were wearing wings,
And this is what they said as they kept strumming on the strings:


Hello! How are you?
Howza folks? What's new?
I'm great! That's good!
Ha! Ha! Knock wood!
Well! Well! That's Life!
Whatd'ya know? How's the wife?
Gotta run! Oh my!
Ta Ta! Olive Oil! Good-bye!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Goldie Munro,

In case you are really interested:


Daisy Bell (A Bicycle Built for Two)
by Harry Dacre, 1892


There is a flower
Within my heart,
Daisy, Daisy!
Planted one day
By a glancing dart,
Planted by Daisy Bell!
Whether she loves me
Or loves me not,
Sometimes it's hard to tell;
Yet I am longing to share the lot -
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two.

We will go 'tandem'
As man and wife,
Daisy, Daisy!
'Peddling' away
Down the road of life,
I and my Daisy Bell!
When the road's dark
We can both despise
P'licemen and 'lamps' as well;
There are 'bright lights’
In the dazzling eyes
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a cc7 stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two.

I will stand by you
In 'wheel' or woe,
Daisy, Daisy!
You'll be the bell(e)
Which I'll ring you know!
Sweet little Daisy Bell!
You'll take the 'lead'
In each 'trip' we take,
Then if I don't do well,
I will permit you to
Use the brake,
My beautiful Daisy Bell!

 

[oggbashan]

Daisy's ass

Harry Dacre was a 'bum' man.

Daisy taking the lead on the tandem would give him a good view.

Why is it that I can sing all these?

And -

Down at the old Bull and Bush

The Lambeth Walk

My old man said follow the van...

etc.

Must be six hundred years of Cockney ancestors.

How about 'The Agincourt Song'? or the rude ones about Anne Boleyn and Nell Gwynne?

Og

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Og,

Do you know the words to "They All Walk The Wibbly Wobbly Walk" by Mark Sheridan?

A few years ago I heard it from a Saydisc compilation of old recordings (1900 - 1920) but can't remember all the words.

 

[cloudy]

I started singing this to my 4-year-old on the day I had him, and he sings it now:

You Are My Sunshine
Norman Blake

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,
If you will only say the same.
But if you leave me and love another,
You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between.
But not you've left me to love another;
You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains.
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

**************************

And this one (although he doesn't have this one quite down yet - I don't particularly prescribe to the sentiment it expresses, but I can remember my mother singing it to me when I was little:

I'll Fly Away

Some bright morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away;
To that home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from these prison walls I’ll fly,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

Oh how glad and happy when we meet
I’ll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet
I’ll fly away.

I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away.

Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away;
To a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.

Chorus
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away (I'll fly away).

 

[Goldie Munro]

Goldie Munro,

In case you are really interested:


Daisy Bell (A Bicycle Built for Two)
by Harry Dacre, 1892


There is a flower
Within my heart,
Daisy, Daisy!
Planted one day
By a glancing dart,
Planted by Daisy Bell!
Whether she loves me
Or loves me not,
Sometimes it's hard to tell;
Yet I am longing to share the lot -
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two.

We will go 'tandem'
As man and wife,
Daisy, Daisy!
'Peddling' away
Down the road of life,
I and my Daisy Bell!
When the road's dark
We can both despise
P'licemen and 'lamps' as well;
There are 'bright lights’
In the dazzling eyes
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a cc7 stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage
But you'll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle made for two.

I will stand by you
In 'wheel' or woe,
Daisy, Daisy!
You'll be the bell(e)
Which I'll ring you know!
Sweet little Daisy Bell!
You'll take the 'lead'
In each 'trip' we take,
Then if I don't do well,
I will permit you to
Use the brake,
My beautiful Daisy Bell!

Oh whimpers and cries - Thanks - never knew the whole song before!!

Maybe you can help me with another one (blame Og he satrarted it!)

'You made me love you
I didnt want to do it
You know you made me do'

My greatgrandad used to sing this!!!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Here ya go, Goldie.


You Made Me Love You (I Didn't Want to Do It)
Written by James V. Monaco
First performed by Judy Garland



You made me love you
I didn't want to do it
I didn't want to do it
You made me love you
And all the time you knew it
I guess you always knew it.

You made me happy sometimes
You made me glad
But there were times dear
Oh You made me feel so bad

You made me cry cuz
I didn't want to tell you
I didn't want to tell you
I need a love thats true
Yes I do, deed I do, you know I do

I don't care what happens
When the whole world stops
As far as I'm concerned
You'll always be the tops cause
You know you made me love you

You made me cry cuz
I didn't want to tell you
I didn't want to tell you
I need a love thats true
Yes I do, deed I do, you know I do

Gimme, gimme, gimme, what I cry for
You got the kinda kisses
That I would die for
You know you made me love you
Oh, You know you made me love you

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Miss Otis Regrets
by Cole Porter, 1934


Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today,
Madam,
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.
She is sorry to be delayed,
But last evening down in lover's lane she strayed,
Madam,
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.

When she woke up and found
That her dream of love was gone,
Madam,
She ran to the man
Who had led her so far astray,
And from under her velvet gown
She drew a gun and shot her lover down,
Madam,
Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today.

When the mob came and got her
And dragged her from the jail,
Madam,
They strung her upon
The old willow across the way,
And the moment before she died
She lifted up her lovely head and cried,
Madam,
"Miss Otis regrets she's unable to lunch today



There is a legend — possibly true — that this song was written by Cole Porter on a bet.
The bet was that he could not write a song based upon the first line supplied by Monty Wooley.

 

[Vincent E]

Swinging tha Alphabet.

B A bay,
B E bee,
B I bicky bye,
B o bo.
Bicky bye bo
B U bu
Bicky bye bo bu.

C A say,
C E see,
C I sicky sigh,
C O so.
Sicky sigh so
C U sue
Sicky sigh so sue.

D A day,
D E dee,
D I dicky dye
D O dough.
Dicky dye dough
D U due
Dicky dye dough due.

F A fay,
F E fee,
F I ficky fye,
F O foe.
Ficky fye foe
F U fu
Ficky fye foe fu.

G A jay,
G E gee,
G I jicky jye,
G O joe.
Gicky jye joe
G U jew
Gicky jye joe jew.

Stop it! Stop it! Enough already...

http://images.andale.com/f2/124/116/8575308/1030070940370_1030070940291_745.gif

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

If you truly want a nonsense song, there is always . . . .

Mairzy Dotes

Words & Music by Milton Drake, Al Hoffman & Jerry Livingston, 1943
Recorded by The Pied Pipers, 1944


Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and little lamsy divey,
A kiddly divey, too – wouldn't you?
Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and little lamsy divey,
A kiddly divey, too – wouldn't you?

Now if the words sound queer, and funny to your ear,
A little bit jumbled and jivey,
Just say, "Mares eat oats, and does eat oats,
And little lambs eat ivy."

Mairzy dotes and dozy dotes and little lamsy divey,
A kiddly divey, too – wouldn't you?
A kiddly divey, too – a kiddly divey,too,
A kiddly divey, too – wouldn't you?

 

[Guest]

I disagree, Ogg. There are songs that still have meaning. Songs that touch. Songs that are just fun.

Examples:

Bare Naked Ladies - If I Had a Million Dollars

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a K-Car (a nice Reliant automobile)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love.

If I Had $1000000 I'd build a tree fort in our yard.
If I Had $1000000 You could help, it wouldn't be that hard.
If I Had $1000000 Maybe we could put a frige in there somwhere.
We could go up there whenever we wanted. We could get something to eat maybe

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (All them crazy elephant bones)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I Had $1000000 We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I Had $1000000 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner.
(But we would) Of course we would, it's a very tasty treat for the whole family.

If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress that's cruel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you some art (a Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I Had $1000000 (If I Had $1000000)
I'd buy you a monkey (haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I Had $1000000 I'd buy your love

If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000, If I Had $1000000
If I Had $1000000
I'd be rich.

Lyle Lovett - Skinny Legs

See that boy with that guitar
He got skinny legs like I always wanted.
He got a girlfriend in his car 'cause he got
Skinny legs like I always wanted

Well sister look at me again
You'd love me if I were as skinny as him

See that boy with that guitar
He got a shirt and tie like I always wanted
A girlfriend in his car 'cause he got
A shirt and tie like I always wanted

Well, sister look at me again
You'd love me if I were a dresser like him

Now see that boy with that guitar
He got a blue Toyota like I always wanted
A Japanese girl in his car 'cause he got
A blue Toyota like I always wanted.

Well, sister look at me again
You'd love me if I were a driver like him.

See that boy with that guitar
He got a baby face like I always wanted
A girlfriend in his car 'cause he got
A baby face like I always wanted

Well, sister look at me again
You'd love me if I were a looker like him.

See that boy with that guitar
He got a little round butt like I always wanted
A girlfriend in his car 'cause he got
A little round butt like I always wanted

Well, sister look at me again
You'd love me if I had a pooper like him
You'd love me if that were my rear end

Legs they come and faces go
Just like old Toyotas
Jap girl dumped my ass and took my clothes
She took my car and left me singin'

See that boy with that guitar
He got skinny legs like I always wanted.
He got a girlfriend in his car 'cause he got
Skinny legs like I always wanted
Skinny legs like I always wanted

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Here are a couple excerpts that should hold their own in this crowd.

Mable, Mable,
Sweet and able,
Get your big feet,
Off the table.

--

Said the monkey to the owl,
Oh, what'll you have to drink?

repeat twice

Well, since you've been so very kind,
I'll take a bottle of ink.

Singin' tra-la-la-la-la lee-li-lee-lo

repeat

Singin' tra-la-la-la-la, tra-la-la-la-la,
tra-la-la, tra-la-la, tra-lee-li-lee-lo, lee-li-lee-lo.

 

[impressive]

Dropkick Me, Jesus

Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life.
End over end, neither left nor to right.
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights.
Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life.

Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more than I am.
Make me a piece in Your master game plan.
Freed from the earthly tempestion below.
I've got the will, Lord, if You've got the toe.

Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life.
End over end, neither left nor to right.
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights.
Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life.

Bring on the brothers who've gone on before,
And all of the sisters who've knocked on Your door.
All the departed, dear loved ones of mine.
Stick 'em up front in the offensive line.

Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life.
End over end, neither left nor to right.
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights.
Dropkick me Jesus, through the goal posts of life.

 

[minsue]

Dammit, Imp, now this is going through my head!

Jesus Wrote A Blank Check

Jesus wrote a blank check,
One I haven't cashed quite yet.
I hope I've got a little more time.
I hope it's not the end of the line.
Yeah, Jesus wrote a blank check.
One I haven't cashed yet, all right.

But if I had to choose a number,
I'd want it to be number one.
I don't want to be number two.
Yeah, I don't want to be number four.
But I can hear a knock on the door.
Jesus wrote a blank check, all right.

If Jesus saw me dying,
Would angels come a flying down?
I hope I've got a little more time.
I hope somebody lends me a dime.
Now, Jesus wrote a blank check.
Ah, one I haven't cashed yet.

Still I build my towers high.
I watch them pierce the blue, blue sky.
Still I wallow in the mire.
Still I burn this earthen fire.

Still I build my towers high.
I watch them pierce the blue, blue sky.
Still I wallow in the mire.
Still I burn this earthen fire.
Still I burn this earthen fire.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

And who could forget the inspirational. . . .

Monkey and Chimp (Abba dabba dabba)
Lyricists: Arthur Fields and Walter Donovan. 1914


Way down in the congo land sitting in a coconut tree,
there was a monkey and a chimp--and Lordy how she loved him.
Everynight in the pale moonlight sitting in the coconut tree,
these love words she always said to he...


"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"
said the monkey to the chimp.
"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"
said the chimpee to the monk.
All night long they chattered away.
All day long they were happy and gay,
swinging and swaying in a honky, tonky way.


"Abba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba dabba"
said the chimp, "I love but you."
Abba dabba dabba in monkey talk means
"Chimp, I love you too."
Then the ol' baboon, one night in June,
married them and very soon,
they sailed away on an abba dabba honeymoon.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Shuffle Off To Buffalo
By Don Bestor
From 42nd Street, 1933.


I'll go home and pack my panties
You go home and get your scanties
And away we'll go. Oow, oow, oow.
Off we're gonna shuffle
Shuffle Off to Buffalo

To Niagara in a sleeper
There's no honeymoon that's cheaper
And the train goes slow. Oh, oh, oh.
Off we're gonna shuffle
Shuffle Off to Buffalo...

For a little silver quarter
We can have the Pullman porter
Turn the lights down low. Oh, oh, oh.
Off we're gonna shuffle
Shuffle Off to Buffalo

Matrimony is baloney
She'll be wanting alimony
In a year of so. Oow, oow, oow.
Still they go and shuffle
Shuffle Off to Buffalo,

When she knows as much as we know
She'll be on her way to Reno
While he still has dough. Oh, oh, oh.
She'll give him the Shuffle
When they're back from Buffalo

 

[thebullet]

Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer do!

Talk about bringing back memories! When I was about 10 I was rumaging through some old stuff we had in our basement. I found an old 48 rpm record that was recorded by my parents that to the best of my knowledge I had never seen before. I put it on my little record player and there were my parents singing "Daisy, Daisy". I glazed over and listened intently. About half way through the recording my Dad suddenly said, "Andrew get your thumb out of your mouth". My 10 year old self guiltily removed my thumb. He had caught me again, 8 years later.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

"You'll come a waltzin' Matilda with me..."

I used to love that song.

 

[thebullet]

JW said

You'll come a waltzin' Matilda with me..."
I used to love that song

Me too, but I first heard it in the movie "On the Beach". Now when I hear it, it reminds me of the total destruction of the world.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

"You'll come a waltzin' Matilda with me..."
I used to love that song.

For the longest time I had the erroneous idea that Waltzing Matilda was the National Anthem of Australia, but have recently been advised that it only occupies an unofficial capacity.


Waltzing Matilda
A.B. (Banjo) Paterson
Australia's 'Unofficial' National Anthem

Once a jolly swagman camped by a Billabong
Under the shade of a Coolabah tree
And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boiled
"Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?"

Down come a jumbuck to drink at the water hole
Up jumped a swagman and grabbed him in glee
And he sang as he stowed him away in his tucker bag
"You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me'".

Up rode the Squatter a riding his thoroughbred
Up rode the Trooper - one, two, three
"Where's that jumbuck you've got in your tucker bag?",
"You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me".

But the swagman he up and jumped in the water hole
Drowning himself by the Coolabah tree,
And his ghost may be heard as it sings in the Billabong,
"Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?"


midi



I am reliably informed that the following is the official National Anthem.


Advance Australia Fair
words & music by Peter Dodds McCormick
proclaimed Australia's National Anthem
by the Governor - General on 19th April 1984


Australians all let us rejoice for we are young and free
We've golden soil and wealth for toil our home is girt by sea
Our land abounds in nature's gifts of beauty rich and rare
In history's page let every stage advance Australia fair
In joyful strains then let us sing advance Australia fair
Beneath our radiant southern cross we'll toil with hearts and hands
To make this common wealth of ours renowned of all the lands
For those who've come across the seas we've boundless plains to share
With courage let us combine to advance Australia fair
In joyful strains then let us sing advance Australia fair

midi

The only question that remains, is: "How the heck did Waltzing Matilda get in this thread?"

Edited to add: Oh, yes. Ogg started this thread — Australia — symmetry!

 

[sincerely_helene]

Oh yes, they do!

Flagpole Sitta-Harvey Danger

I had visions, I was in them
I was looking into the mirror
to see a little bit clearer
Rottenness and evil in me

Fingertips have memories
Mine can't forget the curves of your body
and when I feel a bit naughty
I run it up the flagpole
and see who salutes
(but no one ever does)

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause i'm in hell

Been around the world
and found that only stupid people are breeding
The cretins cloning and feeding
And I don't even own a tv

Put me in the hospital for nerves
and then they had to commit me
You told them all I was crazy
They cut off my legs
now I'm an amputee (god damn you)

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well

I wanna publish zines and rage against machines
I wanna pierce my tongue
It doesn't hurt, it feels fine
The trivial sublime I'd like to turn off time
And kill my mind you kill my mind

Paranoia paranoia
everybody's coming to get me
Just say you never met me
I'm going underground with the moles

Hear the voices in my head
I swear to god it sounds like they're snoring
But if you're bored then you're boring
The agony and the irony, they're killing me

I'm not sick but I'm not well
And I'm so hot cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick but I'm not well
And it's a sin to live so well

 

[minsue]

Thanks for the grin, Helene. I haven't heard that song in a while.

I will always love this line:

Been around the world
and found that only stupid people are breeding