There's a heterosexual lurking deep inside me

[Frimost]

I don't know how old you are sigh, but if you are getting into your late 30's or early 40's you could be experiencing cravings in part elicited by hormonal changes in the chemistry of your brain effecting your desires. These desires to conceive and have sex with men are perfectly natural for women and even many lesbians as they begin the early stages of menopause. After all these desires are perfectly natural and could be nothing more than the nagging pull of nature to reproduce and not might really have anything to do with men in specific but with the subconscious animalistic urge to reproduce in general.

as for the bisexual driven to lesbianism, sounds logically like it could make some sense. If these desires are in part spurned on by the hormonal changes women undergo (a drop in estrogen and increase of testosterone) then they will only get worse and worse.

My advice for the early stages of mulling it over is go look at some straight porn and see if it appeals to you. Go surf some naughty het. porn on the Internet, go get a hardcore skin-mag, and better yet rent a video and watch it with your girlfriend. Will it get you hot, does it get you off? If so maybe the next step would be to go to a male strip bar, do real-life men get you wet and sticky or is just the fantasy of straight sex and its taboo nature for someone of your lifestyle what really gets you off?

If you still find yourself wanting some male "servicing" then go have a one night stand, or if your s/o is cool; with it have a threesome with a man in the bed with you two to see how you like it in a safe environment (you g/f with you at your place).

 

[sigh]

Where to begin? Frimost, I believe your advice was offered with sincerity, so I thank you for that, but really, none of it hits the mark (and very little even comes close).

First, I'm in my late 20s (not thirties or forties) so forget about the menopause thing. I have no cravings to conceive either. Been there, done that, and my eleven year old son is quite enough for me. I've done my bit for the species. The spring was sprung on my biological clock long ago.

And your advice for testing myself doesn't fit either. I don't enjoy porn of any kind, lesbian or hetero. Perusing pics of posed sex acts is a quick way to get me to sleepy time. I'm yawning just thinking about it.

As for going to strip bars...ewwww...I'm sorry, but no way. Not my style. My favorite strip show is me getting ready to slip into a nice hot bath. The bump and grind stuff is just plain silly.

By the way, what sort or "lifestyle" do you think I lead? I'm just curious about that. I'm a rather conservative, fairly feminine, young single mom sort and I'm sure you'd never recognize me as lesbian even after knowing me for quite some time. I don't live a "lifestyle", Frimost. I live like most other folks.

And for god's sake, I have no interest in being "serviced" by a male. With the right man I might be able to make love, but it would have to be a lot more than just getting my plumbing sticky.

 

[Effigy]

And for god's sake, I have no interest in being "serviced" by a male. With the right man I might be able to make love, but it would have to be a lot more than just getting my plumbing sticky.

Good, cause thats kinda my idea.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

My mother has always refered to me as *The lesbian with hetero tendencies*. I know for a fact that the main reason I don't entertain long relationships with men is because of TRUST issues. It may be, darlin, that you are just wondering if you are running from something that may make you happy. (Not doubting, of course, your relationship with your lady.) My point being, that one bad experience does not make all guys bad...but if the experience was awful enough, one never wants a repeat again.
(Did that make any sense?) I guess what I am trying to ask is...When you think about it...does it strike you as something you are missing? Or does it strike you as something you THINK you should be missing? There is a difference.

Take it from one who walked that route (from the opposite direction) it is a difficult thing to try and restructure all you think you know about yourself.

pet

 

[april-wine]

When you think about it...does it strike you as something you are missing? Or does it strike you as something you THINK you should be missing? There is a difference.

pet

A very wise pet indeed....


Hey I wanna know what kind of LIFESTYLE you are living too....Sheesh all these SECRETS, sigh, my sweet....

 

[sigh]

My mother has always refered to me as *The lesbian with hetero tendencies*. I know for a fact that the main reason I don't entertain long relationships with men is because of TRUST issues. It may be, darlin, that you are just wondering if you are running from something that may make you happy. (Not doubting, of course, your relationship with your lady.) My point being, that one bad experience does not make all guys bad...but if the experience was awful enough, one never wants a repeat again.
(Did that make any sense?) I guess what I am trying to ask is...When you think about it...does it strike you as something you are missing? Or does it strike you as something you THINK you should be missing? There is a difference.

Take it from one who walked that route (from the opposite direction) it is a difficult thing to try and restructure all you think you know about yourself.

pet

hmmm...good questions indeed. I don't know, pet. Or at least I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it's not about something I THINK I should be missing. It's more of an urge and urges don't require much thought at all, for the most part.

And sure, I know that one bad experience doesn't make all guys bad...or at least the rational part of my brain knows that. But this was a really, really bad experience and it's left a very stubborn chunk of me that's (I think) repelled by men and turns me into a mess of sweat and trembles whenever I actually consider (as opposed to simply fantasize about) going to bed with a man.

This isn't a simple "should I fuck or not" sort of question. It's closer to a "can I bury a nasty piece of history" sort of question...and...uh...you know, I didn't even think about it in those terms until right now.......

 

[sigh]

Hey I wanna know what kind of LIFESTYLE you are living too....Sheesh all these SECRETS, sigh, my sweet....

I live a butch dyke domme lifestyle, and I have a blood-red tattoo on my left tit that says "I OWN YOU, BITCH!" and a big black strapon that's as long as my forearm and big around as my wrist. Every Thursday night I piss on a slave, and on Sundays I grease my fist and go out looking for a virgin pussy to explore. I like to snag 'em as they're coming out of church, all dressed in white ruffles and lace.

Either that or I'm a rather small, quiet pharmacist with a penchant for pleated skirts and pale hosiery.

It's a Sybil thing. I'm never quite sure.

 

[Effigy]

Either way, anyday.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

This isn't a simple "should I fuck or not" sort of question. It's closer to a "can I bury a nasty piece of history" sort of question...and...uh...you know, I didn't even think about it in those terms until right now.......

Like I stated earlier, I understand that thought better than you know. The answer for me ended up being..."Yes, as long as there is another female involved." I can not be with single men. (Unless it's in the process of BDSM and even that is too harsh sometimes for me to stomach unless there is another woman there.) It took years for me to come up with that answer. Long years of forcing myself to be something I wasn't to please people that should not have cared. So, I get the gist, Sigh, and I hope that eventually you can deal with the nasty history and move on. Not because it's not important...but simply because anything that fills you with fear when actively contemplated is bad for your mind.

be well
pet