There are 3x as many animal shelters in America...

[Shaq]

as there are homes for battered women.


We call other cultures cruel when they eat domestic animals.

Sometimes I think we're cruel for not eating them.

*digs into hunan "beef"*

 

[Lasher]

Still pissed cause you didn't make it as a rapper, Shaq?

 

[HeavyStick]

OK, who's to blame?

 

[HeavyStick]

Still pissed cause you didn't make it as a rapper, Shaq?

haha, or a movie star

 

[Shaq]

Still pissed cause you didn't make it as a rapper, Shaq?

*looks at you like you're stupid*

*reconsiders*

*laughs at you like you're stupid*

 

[HeavyStick]

*looks at you like you're stupid*

*reconsiders*

*laughs at you like you're stupid*

was that a rapper's laugh, or a movie star's laugh?

 

[Shaq]

haha, or a movie star

Go to hell!


Shaquille's acting in Shazam was as worthy as Deniro in the boxer.

 

[70/30]

Release the animals and let them seize Washington.

 

[Shaq]

was that a rapper's laugh, or a movie star's laugh?

Shaq has 5 albums that are at least gold.

That was an I'm way bigger and richer than you laugh...

 

[HeavyStick]

Shaq has 5 albums that are at least gold.

That was an I'm way bigger and richer than you laugh...

A funky monkey that stutters can get a gold record... that's not an accomplishment in the musical industry anymore.

 

[Shaq]

A funky monkey that stutters can get a gold record... that's not an accomplishment in the musical industry anymore.

FIVE...FIVE...FIVE!

Shaq should be president....

 

[Lasher]

Shaq should be president....

Tough to campaign when you got a boo-boo on one of your widdle piggies.... Awwwwww, poor Shaqqy-wacky.

 

[Shaq]

Tough to campaign when you got a boo-boo on one of your widdle piggies.... Awwwwww, poor Shaqqy-wacky.

If the president can almost be killed by a pretzel and not be censured and deported Shaq can be pres while rehabilitating a horrific hallus injury...