The write in white thread

I forgot what it's like to live with this pain. I want to be done now. Pain pills can't touch it and I really don't want to go in to the hospital. I hate that place. Whatever, I'll deal with it. I just would like to be done, for the record.
 
Are you shitting me? The man with the most beautiful, gorgeous and largest man bits I've ever had the privilege of wrapping my lips and other bits around calls and asks if I want to get together on a regular basis and you expect me to blow him off???

I plan in blowing him, but not off, buddy. My life, my body, my sex life.

He's mine for as often as I want him to be and you can just shut it.
 
I'm perplexed and confused by many things, and I think that sometimes hurts those close (and maybe not so close) to me.
 
Ok, so I have been meaning to say this for a long time. If you continue to try to control every last detail about me you are going to lose more than control. You will lose me. You think that won't happen, but you are wrong. I still love you, but there are many days when I don't really like you very much.
 
My mind is racing. So many thoughts going through my head. Everything that has happened this past year, good and bad, is torturing my mind. I wish I could rewind time and redo everything that has lead me to this point. But in doing so, I never would have gone down the paths I chose and learned from my mistakes and grown from them.
 
Your a great friend but that's it. I already told you I don't feel for you that way and you said that was fine but kept expecting more. Now your mad at me cause I don't answer your calls or texts as much as I use to but I feel like I have to so I don't lead you on.
 
I have an awful headache right now that is driving me up the wall. No rest for the wicked I suppose...
 
i hate when my mind is idle... i don't try to, but i start thinking about him. and i really don't want to have any thoughts of him after what he did.
 
I wish I could hate you. I should never have told you. Why did you do that to me? How could you do that to me?
 
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