The Worst & Why

[dr_mabeuse]

What's the worst story you've ever written and what made it so bad?

You go first.

--Zoot

 

[Guest]

Resort : An Introduction

I hastily wrote an entry for a contest. The haste is apparent.

And to top it off, the story served as the beginning of a series I had high hopes for, and had long anticipated starting. I need to get back to the series.

 

[FallingToFly]

Oh, probably Hijacked. Falling and American Baby run close behind.

Why?

Hijacked- silly, fluffy plot-bunny. It had no plot, and no need for one. It was for fun, and the amusement of some friends.

Falling- What started out as a sexy little slide into romance got angsty and tangled into another story's plotline, so without reading 80 chapters of hers and 40 odd chapters of mine, you're lost, and who wants to do that? I'm trying to get the Lit version to match what the original plot was supposed to be.

American Baby- It's fluff. I don't -do- fluff, for heaven's sake! I do violence, sex, death, and depression. That's about it. So, when I do fluff, it gets silly. Very silly. I'm writing it by request, so... as long as my friend is happy with it, I'm happy. She wanted it on Lit, she got it on Lit.

I have others I hate... Chapter 2 of Dreaming in the Dark, which will never go back up, poetry I hate so much I just gag on it, some things I wrote for Lit and just gave up. And then there is the Lost Novel that I wrote in middle school, 300 pages long hand and I still cannabalize parts of it. It was fun. Stupid, and the plot was so weak it shook with every word, but it had an innocence nothing I can write now can match.

 

[Weepingguitar]

The very worst story I ever wrote was the first thing I ever defaced the internet with. It was a video game fan fic that I wrote when I was 15 or 16. The whole thing was just random scenes stuck in my head hastily slapped together. Oh yeah, and I think I had about a dozen or so Red Dwarf quotes thrown in for no good reason. I made one of the coolest characters in video game history into a little whiny bitch and then killed off his love interest just because I didn't like her.

As the story progresses you can tell that I have a slightly better grasp of what the hell I'm doing...but only slightly.

I did attempt to rewrite it several years ago...but promptly gave up ^_^

 

[damppanties]

I thought you were asking us about your worst, Doc.

Mine, it would depend. For sheer blandness, there's a tie between Blossoming Rose and Suzanne's Surrender. Even the names themselves, look at them... who would actually click and read? The first was a hastily written chain story and the other was my second story on Lit (actually the first is pretty bad too, but at least it's perverted enough).

However, the one I regret is one that is 'potentially' very good - The Ides of February. That is my 2003 Valentine's Day Contest story and also my lowest voted. It has a nice enough plot, I like the main character in it too much and the last 2/3rds of the story is good. Someone even told me this has the best-written voyeur scene they ever read on Lit. But it has a really weak beginning. Instant back click material. I keep thinking I should edit and resubmit. Someday...

 

[Liar]

On lit: One that I pulled called Out Of The Rain. It wasn't exactly bad, scene by scene... but it wasn't about anything. No direction, no plan, and just fizzled out in the middle of nowhere.


Now I wanna hear about Zoot's low mark. If the damn guy even have any.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

I'd say the worst, because of grammer, punctuation and all that is Stay-at-home Mom Goes Out It is funny and pokes fun at all those things that irritate us, but it has broken sentence and was written quickly and meant to read fast... It is also my lowest scoring story. . .

 

[MissBri]

 

[dr_mabeuse]

On lit: One that I pulled called Out Of The Rain. It wasn't exactly bad, scene by scene... but it wasn't about anything. No direction, no plan, and just fizzled out in the middle of nowhere.


Now I wanna hear about Zoot's low mark. If the damn guy even have any.

Oh, I have some real swill on my hard disc. I just keep it there.

I have a couple of sonnets in poetry that are just about humiliating, in my opinion. You know how ugly it is when you read rhyming poetry and you can just picture the poet leafing through the rhyming dictionary trying to get things to work? Where the meaning of the poem gets all fucked up by the need to make things rhyme? They're like that. I don't know why I don't pull them.

I tired to write a humor piece describing a seduction as a military campaign, with diversionary tactics and close air-support (whispering in her ear) and breaching her panties and all that. 12 pages or so before it occurred to me that it was neither funny nor sexy nor nothing.

I have 2 stories posted on Lit that were supposed to become a magnum opus concerning this exotic anything-goes surreal sex Spa, the Hotel Pavanne. I figured once I had the locale established, then anytime I wanted to dash off a quick sex scene I could just set it there and have instant ambience and back-story - kind of like a X-rated "Love Boat", for those of you unlucky enough to rememeber that show.

Well it turns out that people having sex in a place designed for people to have sex in is just not very sexy. Two people screwing in the back of a delivery truck has more heat than what happens in the Hotel Pavanne with all its black swans and gorgeous sunsets and mysterious hallways and crystal fountains. Stiffs are still stiffs even if you put them in a palace, and I went foaming at the mouth at how exotic this place was so much that my characters pale in comparison. Anyone want to read a sex stoiry about a good-looking building?

And then there was the one I was writing for halloween about the perverted brain surgeon and what he did to his female patients after he'd opened their skulls.

What the hell was I thinking?

 

[FallingToFly]

I actually LIKE the Halloween story premise, Doc. Sounds like something I'd love reading.

 

[oggbashan]

My worst?

I am spoilt for choice.

My really bad ones are incomplete or never posted because even I recognised that they were stinkers. The story set in the 19th Century Balkans is going to remain incomplete forever. A story based on the conflict between village traditions and the growing influence of industrial production combined with dissertations on mechanics, hydraulics, how to load and fire a black powder musket, and how to use light artillery in guerilla warfare don't mix well with erotica.

My worst one posted on Literotica is probably Trapped written for a particular Yahoo fetish group. Even most of them didn't like it, and they are rarely critical.

Stag Party and Hen Party were early attempts at erotica and not erotic.

Donna and White Scut - I don't apologise for either of them. Both were experiments at Erotic Horror when the category was very new.

Jeanne D'Artois' worst is Merlin and Nimue - a bad idea made worse. Link to Jeanne's stories in my sig line.

Og

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Probably "Nicole's Needs". It was a stretch of Murphy's Law, in the realism sense. That was the problem. Not grammar. Not punctuation. It was just VERY implausible that a female diabetic's life can be saved with cum when she is faint from low blood sugar.

 

[Aurora Black]

My "Guardian Angel" and "Last Dance" series. I was too young and inexperienced to know what the hell I was doing. 17 for Last Dance, 20 for Guardian Angel.

 

[McKenna]

I wrote a story in first person once. (It's not posted to Literotica.) It was when I first started writing erotica. I understand now that beginners commonly use first-person, but I look back on it and cringe. "I kiss you with all the tender, budding feelings of my heart..." >>vomit<<

I also used a lot of high-falutin' words that I thought made it sound better but actually detracted from the action.

Live and learn, eh?

 

[Antfarmer77]

I can't even remember the title I gave mine, but it was a western, and I actually thought it was pretty good and original. But it got terrible "reviews" from the board where I posted it, someone actually made a comment to the effect " I thought that holiday story you wrote was your worst thus far. I guess we all make miatakes" LOL.

 

[Boota]

I have never tried to publish anything anywhere that I wasn't sure was worth the effort. I have one story that I haven't finished yet, though, because it's just not working. It's not erotic, and it's just not enough to be a whole story. What I thought was the end pay off seemed like a jumping off point for something bigger and didn't work anywhere close to how I had intended it. Who knows? It might turn into something later.

 

[impressive]

Gotta be the disaster I once posted on the SDC -- knowing full well it was my weakest material. *cringe* It was, however, a valuable lesson in critique -- as the SDC denizens were harsh, but not mean-spirited. It deserved to be trashed, but it received just encouragement & sincere suggestions for improvement.

I've long since pulled it from Lit & doubt I'll ever revisit it.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

probably the first 67 i submitted to Lit. and number 68 isn't that great... thank god i don't try to make a living out of this!

 

[neonlyte]

The second one in my current sig. Admittedly an experiment but it has the wrong structure. Has some good writing further in, but I'm guessing most don't traverse that far. I'm waiting for a sweep, just to verify the troll votes, before I pull it.

 

[MissBri]

 

[SeaCat]

LOLOLOL

Look in my Sig Line and take your pic.

To me though the worst would have to be Splish Splash.

Cat

 

[Liar]

I wrote a story in first person once. (It's not posted to Literotica.) It was when I first started writing erotica. I understand now that beginners commonly use first-person, but I look back on it and cringe. "I kiss you with all the tender, budding feelings of my heart..." >>vomit<<

I also used a lot of high-falutin' words that I thought made it sound better but actually detracted from the action.

Live and learn, eh?

Not to nit-pick, but doesn't the "you" indicate that it has 2nd-person tendencies? And that that is the real cringer... First person is quite common and quite easy to write.

 

[Aurora Black]

I still don't understand why 1st person (I & you) stories are supposed to be such a big no-no around here. My first Lit piece was written in the first person, and I think I did a pretty good job with it.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I still don't understand why 1st person (I & you) stories are supposed to be such a big no-no around here. My first Lit piece was written in the first person, and I think I did a pretty good job with it.

that's actually second person.

and I wrote one once, but it wasn't really a story, it was a writing exercise

 

[carsonshepherd]

Not to nit-pick, but doesn't the "you" indicate that it has 2nd-person tendencies? And that that is the real cringer... First person is quite common and quite easy to write.

Oops. Liar beat me to it