LadyFyre
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2000
- Posts
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The Top 9 Martha Stewart Household Tips for Dumb People
9) Sex isn't nearly as disgusting when you use a hand-knitted penis cozy.
8) Don't discard used toothpicks -- simply glue on some belly button lint and you'll never pay for Q-tips again.
7) Freeze some urine in a Mrs. Butterworth's bottle, then break and remove the glass for an ice sculpture that'll have your guests talking!
6) In a pinch, frozen water can substitute for ice.
5) Adding sprigs of baby's breath behind the ears of a loved one's corpse is sure to lift everyone's spirits during the funeral.
4) A dead dog makes an excellent door stop -- for a while.
3) While the common method of flushing a dead fish down the toilet can be sad for the kids, putting the aquarium snail down the garbage disposal can make a rather interesting sound that can be enjoyed by all.
2) In the fall, you can sew leaves back onto your trees to delay the onset of winter.
and the Number 1 Martha Stewart Household Tip for Dumb People...
1) With a Hefty 40-gallon trash can liner and cable tie-wrap, you'll have grandma's daily colostomy bags changes down to once a month.
c&p courtesy of Fade2Black Magazine
9) Sex isn't nearly as disgusting when you use a hand-knitted penis cozy.
8) Don't discard used toothpicks -- simply glue on some belly button lint and you'll never pay for Q-tips again.
7) Freeze some urine in a Mrs. Butterworth's bottle, then break and remove the glass for an ice sculpture that'll have your guests talking!
6) In a pinch, frozen water can substitute for ice.
5) Adding sprigs of baby's breath behind the ears of a loved one's corpse is sure to lift everyone's spirits during the funeral.
4) A dead dog makes an excellent door stop -- for a while.
3) While the common method of flushing a dead fish down the toilet can be sad for the kids, putting the aquarium snail down the garbage disposal can make a rather interesting sound that can be enjoyed by all.
2) In the fall, you can sew leaves back onto your trees to delay the onset of winter.
and the Number 1 Martha Stewart Household Tip for Dumb People...
1) With a Hefty 40-gallon trash can liner and cable tie-wrap, you'll have grandma's daily colostomy bags changes down to once a month.
c&p courtesy of Fade2Black Magazine
