THE threesome solution

[BrianGriffin]

Alright. I know there have been tons of posts regarding this topic, but my g/f and I are finally ready for the big MFF leap. She's recently warmed up to the idea. Now, we just have to find someone. She has a close friend who's bi, but we're both afraid of ruining their friendship and we wouldn't mind someone new as long as we got to know them first. My question is, how do we find someone like this? And when we're finally all together (God willing) how can I enjoy them both without making my girl feel alienated, betrayed or insanely jealous?

 

[CarelessWhisper]

As being one that has experienced this...*and would like to do it again...hehehehe*, the first time is the most awkard...at least it was for me anyway.

She was someone I worked with and it was actually OUR idea to do this for my hubbys birthday.....of course the first time was a month before his birthday and this was a trial run...LOL.

But anyway, he did everything right as far as letting US start things off and paying equal attention to both of us.

Now afterwards was totally different.....I had the usual insecurities, jealousy yada yada yada. But after I realized he wasnt going to up and leave me for her...*she was married also, which helped* and he still loved me, the second time was MUCH easier.

You just definitely need to communicate, communicate, communicate!!!! I cant say it enough. Everyone is different and handles things differently than they thought they would. If she decides afterwards that it wasnt the right thing for her do, and you love her, dont approach the subject again. Then again, if she finds that she really enjoyed the whole thing and would like to experiment more...you shouldnt get intimidated by that either...*S*. Personally, my other half would freak out if he new I wanted to experiment without him, so I dont. Its mutual respect that plays a big part also.

Set ground rules if that would make her feel better. Some partners dont allow kissing, some dont allow actual intercourse. Bring it up, show her that you are open to compromise in the situation. For some people there are just some things they DONT want their partners doing, whether they are there or not.

Hope this helps and you get more advice on the subject!!!

CW

 

[BrianGriffin]

Awesome. Any thoughts on how we should seek out this mystery lady?

Also a big Eddie Izzard fan. Ciaooooo....

 

[SweetErika]

... She's recently warmed up to the idea. ...

... And when we're finally all together (God willing) how can I enjoy them both without making my girl feel alienated, betrayed or insanely jealous?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're suggesting she wasn't wild about a threesome before. Why was that, and what's changed?

Women, in general, are people pleasers. Often, we put the wants and needs of others above ours. This is clear when it comes to sex...we're inclined to think if you don't get it from us, you'll go elsewhere. When we agree to something we don't really want (e.g. a threesome), we may be angry and resentful after the fact.

Bottom line: it's not going to be good if EVERYONE isn't completely into it, so you two need to take some time to think, talk at length, and consider worst case scenarios.

As for finding another woman if you decide you want to proceed, try placing some personals for a friend with benefits. Be honest about what you want and what you're looking for. Another option is to look into swinging. You might have to be more flexible on acceptable scenarios, but you'll likely have better luck that competing with all of the other couples who are looking for a woman to join them.

 

[FinePhilly]

Try craigslist...


Always a bunch of horny people there...although I'm sure it's going to be harder to find a F for a 3 some than it would be to find a guy.

But anyway....

 

[SweetErika]

Try craigslist...


Always a bunch of horny people there...although I'm sure it's going to be harder to find a F for a 3 some than it would be to find a guy.

But anyway....

Yeah, just don't post in the Women 4 Women section...everyone gets irritated at the threesome ads.

 

[Eating_Scarlett]

Try craigslist...


Always a bunch of horny people there...although I'm sure it's going to be harder to find a F for a 3 some than it would be to find a guy.

But anyway....

My bf posted an ad for a woman there and got a response within an hour or two...

 

[Halo_n_horns]

One of the best pieces of advice that I ever got about threesomes is to only play with someone that you never have to look at again in case things get weird.

Stick with that and things should go well.

 

[BrianGriffin]

Well we put an ad on Craiglist and we've had a response or two. We'll see how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for us!