The Ten Commandments........

[Lost Cause]

For my culture.....fooled ya! Got more Ten Commandments for any other cultures?

The Ten Commandments of Harley Davidson

1. The one true American-made motorcycle is the Harley-Davidson, and thou shalt put no other motorcycles before it.

2. Thou shalt not bow down and worship nor serve the god of chrome; for, lo, he is a false god and will not get thy butt home.

3. Honor thy authorized dealer and thy hog chapter officers, that thy days may be long and fruitful in the land of Harley.

4. Remember the weekend, and keep it open. for it is written, five days shalt thou labor, and for two days shalt thou ride thy Harley, drink beer, and f**k off.

5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Harley, nor her manservant, nor her maidservant, nor her ox, nor her cute little ass.

6. From the throne of thine Harley, thou shalt not stoop to wave at sinners who ride jap-crap, for jap-crap is known to be the handiwork of the devil.

7. Thou shalt not pass by nor turn away from thy brother Harley rider who is in mechanical distress.

8. Thou shalt not pose. verily, I say unto you, it is easier for a poser to pass his gold visa card through the eye of a needle than to enter into the true fellowship of Harley-Davidson heaven.

9. When riding thy Harley on the road of life, thou shalt not whine nor snivel, and thou shalt not suffer to ride alongside those who do.

10. Park not thy Harley in the darkness of thine garage, that it may collect dust for want of being oft ridden, ride thy Harley with thy brethren, and rejoice in the spirit of the road.

 

[Azwed]

Yeah but what about Indian?

 

[Nitsuj]

7. Thou shalt not pass by nor turn away from thy brother Harley rider who is in mechanical distress.

Yoiu gotta look out for each other I guess. I don't ride bikes.

 

[Killswitch]

That sounds like the Ten Suggestions to me.....lol

 

[Lost Cause]

Not being part of the Harley Taliban...

I wave at, and help anyone on two wheels, regardless of brand. (I'm going to Harley Hell I know it!)

 

[Shadowann2]

When I'm driving I have an 11th Comandment..."Move thine ASS!"

 

[Lost Cause]

It is written...

"That lo, there will come other prophets that will add to, and change the Ten." Thus sayeth the Manual of Maintenence.

 

[Shadowann2]

LOL...I take it you like that one?

 

[Lost Cause]

Azwed's Requested Ten Commandments..

The Tribe of the Road are an all inclusive culture, embracing all interpretations.....

The Ten Commandments of Indian Motorcycles

1. The one true American-made motorcycle is the Indian, and thou shalt put no other motorcycles before it.

2. Thou shalt not bow down and worship nor serve the god of chrome; for, lo, he is a false god and will not get thy butt home.

3. Honor thy authorized dealer and thy Indian chapter officers, that thy days may be long and fruitful in the land of Indian.

4. Remember the weekend, and keep it open. for it is written, five days shalt thou labor, and for two days shalt thou ride thy Indian, drink beer, and f**k off.

5. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Indian, nor her manservant, nor her maidservant, nor her ox, nor her cute little ass.

6. From the throne of thine Indian, thou shalt not stoop to wave at sinners who ride Harleys or jap-crap, for they are known to be the handiwork of the devil.

7. Thou shalt not pass by nor turn away from thy brother Indian rider who is in mechanical distress.

8. Thou shalt not pose. verily, I say unto you, it is easier for a poser to pass his gold visa card through the eye of a needle than to enter into the true fellowship of Indian heaven.

9. When riding thy Indian on the road of life, thou shalt not whine nor snivel, and thou shalt not suffer to ride alongside those who do.

10. Park not thy Indian in the darkness of thine garage, that it may collect dust for want of being oft ridden, ride thy Indian with thy brethren, and rejoice in the spirit of the road.

 

[Mad_Jack_Rabbit]

4. Remember the weekend, and keep it open. for it is written, five days shalt thou labor, and for two days shalt thou ride thy Harley, drink beer, and f**k off.

Who is Off?

 

[Lost Cause]

"Off" days....

Are for the unemployed, orthadox followers...

 

[The Heretic]

I. Thou shalt make programs correct before making them fast.

II. Thou shalt not optimize before measuring.

III. Thou shalt not create external global data.

IV. Thou shalt not use numbers with hidden meanings.

V. Thou shalt not be clever.

VI. Thou shalt declare all global functions in header files.

VII. Thou shalt limit the use of external functions.

VIII. Thou shalt limit the length of functions.

IX. Thou shalt not use goto's.

X. Thou shalt define a default case for every switch statement.

 

[The Heretic]

1 Thou shalt run lint frequently and study its pronouncements with care, for verily its perception and judgement oft exceed thine.

2 Thou shalt not follow the null pointer, for chaos and madness await thee at its end.

3 Thou shalt cast all function arguments to the expected type if they are not of that type already, even when thou art convinced that this is unnecessary, lest they take cruel vengeance upon thee when thou least expect it.

4 If thy header files fail to declare the return types of thy library functions, thou shalt declare them thyself with the most meticulous care, lest grievous harm befall thy program.

5 Thou shalt check the array bounds of all strings (indeed, all arrays), for surely where thou typest ``foo'' someone someday shall type ``supercalifragilisticexpialidocious''.

6 If a function be advertised to return an error code in the event of difficulties, thou shalt check for that code, yea, even though the checks triple the size of thy code and produce aches in thy typing fingers, for if thou thinkest ``it cannot happen to me'', the gods shall surely punish thee for thy arrogance.

7 Thou shalt study thy libraries and strive not to reinvent them without cause, that thy code may be short and readable and thy days pleasant and productive.

8 Thou shalt make thy program's purpose and structure clear to thy fellow man by using the One True Brace Style, even if thou likest it not, for thy creativity is better used in solving problems than in creating beautiful new impediments to understanding.

9 Thy external identifiers shall be unique in the first six characters, though this harsh discipline be irksome and the years of its necessity stretch before thee seemingly without end, lest thou tear thy hair out and go mad on that fateful day when thou desirest to make thy program run on an old system.

10 Thou shalt foreswear, renounce, and abjure the vile heresy which claimeth that "All the world's a VAX'', and have no commerce with the benighted heathens who cling to this barbarous belief, that the days of thy program may be long even though the days of thy current machine be short.

 

[The Heretic]

Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming
1. Thou shalt not worry about bugs.
Bugs in your software are actually special features.
2. Thou shalt not fix abort conditions.
Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than
getting the same abort again.
3. Thou shalt not handle errors.
Error handing was meant for error prone people, neither you or
your users are error prone.
4. Thou shalt not restrict users.
Don't do any editing, let the user input anything, anywhere,
anytime. That is being very user friendly.
5. Thou shalt not optimize.
Your users are very thankful to get the information, they don't
worry about speed and efficiency.
6. Thou shalt not provide help.
If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your
software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your
software any way.
7. Thou shalt not document.
Documentation only comes in handy for making future
modifications. You made the software perfect the first time,
it will never need mods.
8. Thou shalt not hurry.
Only the cute and the mighty should get the program by deadline.
9. Thou shalt not revise.
Your interpretation of specs was right, you know the users'
requirements better than them.
10. Thou shalt not share.
If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have
written it themselves.

 

[The Heretic]

1. Thou shalt not use a computer to harm other people.

2. Thou shalt not interfere with other people's computer work.

3. Thou shalt not snoop around in other people's files.

4. Thou shalt not use a computer to steal.

5. Thou shalt not use a computer to bear false witness.

6. Thou shalt not use or copy software for which you have not paid.

7. Thou shalt not use other people's computer resources without authorization.

8. Thou shalt not appropriate other people's intellectual output.

9. Thou shalt think about the social consequences of the program you write.

10. Thou shalt use a computer in ways that show consideration and respect.

 

[The Heretic]

"We believe in Java the language, but not Java the religion."
-- Bill Gates the Heretic, 1997 June 17th

The Ten Commandments of Java

20:01 And Jahveh spake all these words, saying,

20:02 I am Jahveh thy God, which have brought thee out of the
land of non-portable code, out of the house of bondage.

20:03 Thou shalt have no other languages before me.

20:04 Thou shalt not make unto thee any binary image, or any
likeness of any thing that is in an OS API above, or that
is in the system internals beneath, or that is in the
native code under the implementation.

20:05 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them:
for I Jahveh thy God am a jealous God, visiting the
iniquity of the original developers upon the legacy
systems integrators unto the third and fourth version of
them that hate me;

20:06 And shewing just-in-time compilation unto thousands of
them that love me, and keep my commandments.

20:07 Thou shalt not take the contract of Jahveh thy God in
vain; for courts will not hold him guiltless that
breaches his contract in vain.

20:08 Remember the core API, to keep it holy.

20:09 In other packages shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

20:10 But the java.* package hierarchy is the code of Jahveh thy
God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy
chief technologist, nor thy developers, thy researchers,
nor thy hackers, nor thy interns, nor thy contractor that
is within thy gates:

20:11 For in the core API Jahveh made abstract methods and
interfaces, the super classes, and all that in them is,
and required the specification: wherefore Jahveh
blessed the open development process, and hallowed it.

20:12 Honour thy Sun and thy JavaSoft: that thy product may be
long upon the market which Jahveh thy God giveth thee.

20:13 Thou shalt not kill the JNI and the RMI.

20:14 Thou shalt not adulterate the APIs.

20:15 Thou shalt not steal market share through unfair
competition.

20:16 Thou shalt not bear false witness to support Jahveh
and then renege.

20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's prospective
economic advantage, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's
trademark, nor his logo, nor his developers, nor his
stock, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

David Wallace Croft, Priest of Java
http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~croft/research/java/ten/

 

[The Heretic]

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE

I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.

II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.

III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.

IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too darned weird.

V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.

VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee.

VII. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.

VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.

IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor's house.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.

 

[Comshaw]

posted by Lost Cause:

Not being part of the Harley Taliban...

I wave at, and help anyone on two wheels, regardless of brand. (I'm going to Harley Hell I know it!)

Don't worry 'bout it LC. Any real honest to God rider would do the same, even those who ride a rice grinder. So I guess I'll see you at the gates, or more accurately the waiting room, for I'll have to use the back door reserved for those afore mentioned rice grinders!
Comshaw C.O.B.