'The Talk'

[Sophie_xx]

So, I was reading a few threads on masturbation and the first times, and I was wondering if anyone has a good First talk story or experience they'd like to share.

I got mine not from my dad, not from my mom, not even from a family member. I got the talk from a boy 2 years older then me when I was around 12. He was a next door nabour who my brother used to hang out with and i had the biggest crush on him. So embarrassing

xx, Sophie.

 

[mark_j]

I got mine from my Dad. In fact it is one of the more priceless memories I have of him (rest his soul).

I was home from college during one of the breaks (I forget which one) during my freshman year. Was sitting at the kitchen table one morning eating a bowl of cheerios when my Dad comes downstairs, plops a sixpack of Trojans on the table in front of me and proceeds to tell me, oh so seriously, "here boy, you might have use for these".

Uhhhhh yeah, thanks Dad.

I still chuckle over it to this day.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I've never officially had 'the talk'

All my info has been gleaned from health class, friends, the internet, cosmo, porn and good old fashioned trial and error.

 

[Cattypuss]

I remember it as if it was yesterday. Mum driving me home from school. I was 10. She said "Do you know about periods and sex and stuff?" and I said "Yes mum, they showed us a film at school" and she said "Oh good - that means I won't have to tell you then".

And that was it.

 

[MisterSir]

I've also never had the talk. I'm quite happy with that state of affairs, frankly.

 

[jenniferbaby]

I used to read those "this is your body" books, must have gone through a dozen of them. They all had the same information, but I loved reading the same information over and over. Early signs of my obsession with sex.

I also had a brief talk with my mom about masturbation. I asked her if it was ok and she said yes. Changed my life.

 

[unregistered]

 

[lennythelion]

Never had the talk either. Learnt the reproductive stuff from the school film and possibly library books. Learnt the sex stuff from dad's porn mags and trial and error.

Oh, no, I remember a school friend had a really young and obviously open mother (she was 28 to our 13; my own mum was only 32, but not so open), who gave her a real sex ed book. It rapidly did the rounds of our class (I went to an all-girls' school). My parents discovered it in my bedside-table drawer, and I think it was my dad who said, "Mum says she found a sex education book in your drawer," (Me: ) "If you have any questions, don't forget you can talk to us." (Me: yeah, right.)

I so do not want there to be any embarrassment around sex for my daughter. I first talked about homosexuality when she was 5, periods when she was 6, and I've touched on how babies are made and sex outside of reproduction (she's now 8). I just want to keep talking (which I try to do about everything) so there is never any need for "a talk".

 

[Cajon555]

I never had "the talk." There was sex ed stuff in various grades in school, a few sex education books I found on my own, and hoping the more experienced girl I was with would show me stuff--which she did!

The closest thing to "the talk" was when my dad said to me "Son, I'm going to tell you what your grandfather told me. 'Every generation thinks they invented sex. They didn't.'" Took me a while to figure out what that meant.

 

[Shadowann2]

I've never officially had 'the talk'

All my info has been gleaned from health class, friends, the internet, cosmo, porn and good old fashioned trial and error.

Same here, with the exception of the health class thing. I went to Catholic school, including going to an all-girls Catholic high school. They figured we didn't need to know about sex or birth control until we got married. I guess that's why I ended up pregnant my junior year!

I'm now dealing with having talks with my daughter...as in, more than one! I'm trying to open a dialog and keep things open between us. I want her to feel that she can talk to me about anything, and not be embarrassed. I think it's harder for me than it is for her!

 

[lennythelion]

I'm now dealing with having talks with my daughter...as in, more than one! I'm trying to open a dialog and keep things open between us. I want her to feel that she can talk to me about anything, and not be embarrassed. I think it's harder for me than it is for her!

There was a really interesting feature on this subject in the May 2009 edition of Oprah magazine. Based on a combined survey by O and 17 magazine, 74% of mothers never had a conversation with their own mothers before they had sex for the first time. 40% of girls say their mothers have never talked to them about sex, whereas only 7% of those mothers admit to it.

It also says we should be having "the talk" by the time our daughters are 8 or 9!

 

[infinity706]

This could be why I end up giving 'the talk' to so many people. Of course, I don't just teach basics, so I've instructed, 30, 40, even 50 year olds. I teach really kinky sex, though, in addition to advanced anatomy. I even show off a big gyno picture set I found that shows the vagina/cervix all throughout the cycle, the self cleaning process, a pap smear, and during different stages of arousal. Even the straight women really get into that. The dissected human clit pics are even rather popular.

 

[Shadowann2]

There was a really interesting feature on this subject in the May 2009 edition of Oprah magazine. Based on a combined survey by O and 17 magazine, 74% of mothers never had a conversation with their own mothers before they had sex for the first time. 40% of girls say their mothers have never talked to them about sex, whereas only 7% of those mothers admit to it.

It also says we should be having "the talk" by the time our daughters are 8 or 9!

Sounds about right. My daughter is 9 and we started talking about this type of stuff last summer. When I found out that 6th graders were having babies and that there was a major problem with oral gonorrhea and syphilis among 4th and 5th graders in our school district, I decided that I couldn't put off talking to her any longer. The more open we are about it, and the more comfortable she is talking to me about stuff, (the going theory is!), the longer she will wait to try it. And, she's more likely to be safe about it too!

 

[TheRealFATANG]

Lawls, I remember my talk(s), when I was 16. Awful. I really shouldn't tell this, but whatever, readers will probably laugh.

The first one was from my dad, he was cool about it, he just said "You know, you don't always have do something about your thing, just be respectful." He really said "thing" in conversation. Makes me laugh when I think about it now. It was perfect, and I understood what he was saying. Wish that was the end of it though.

Let me preface this by saying I was not allowed to use the phone, speak to girls in front of my mother, walk within 50 feet of a lingerie section, go to school dances, go on escorted dates, watch any movie with a rating above PG, etc.

My mother was not to be outdone by my father, figuring I should be scarred eternally. She was driving me home from work the next day, and told me how my father had done a poor job of speaking to me about my changing body and the thoughts I was having (She's a mind reader apparently, I dunno).

She said I was not to look at women and find them attractive until I was ready to be married, to never act on my impulses of any kind under any circumstances, to never look at my aunts, sisters, and cousins in a sexual way, to never speak to a girl romantically who was not a virgin, to never play with myself, to never watch or read sinful pornographic materials, to never put myself in a room alone with a woman until I was married, to never be around women who didn't go to church every Sunday, to never talk about intercourse except with my wife, and lastly, to never kiss or hug or get too close to a woman who wasn't family.

Wait! There's more!

When we got back home, she parked the van in the driveway and we prayed for like 15 minutes for god to help me be strong, control his temple, and resist temptation.

Wait! Last bit.

So we get in the house, and she takes one of my dad's belts and spanks me for the sinful sexual thoughts I had during the conversation we had. Though I didn't speak the entire time or think of anything but "I wish you would shut up you crazy bitch."

Ahh... childhood, good times, good times...

 

[Mac98]

My father knows he doesn't need to say a thing. Sex ed, porn and logic, he knew, was well enough to form a young man's mind as to what sex is all about... that being said, I fully understand the acts performed on a porn movie is by know means to be taken seriously or to copy unless you really wanna' look like a clueless douche.

My mother was/is a loudmouth and would openly talk about every possible sexual position she's ever done and about what she likes/dislikes, etc... it's always been WAY too much information and I have learned to tune her out when she starts rambling about that stuff.

No kid deserves to hear his/her mom talk about all her sexual experiences... it's wrong! WRONG!!!

 

[whitetea1]

Around 12 I was told to balance an aspirin between my knees. When I asked why, I was told "to save you a lot of headaches later".

 

[Missy_xo]

I learned from movie's, music, friends, and most importantly, experience. You can't fully understand sex without actually experiencing it first hand

But yea, my parents never really had the talk with me. My dad put me on birth control when I was thirteen and left me to read the instructions.

 

[OQueen]

It also says we should be having "the talk" by the time our daughters are 8 or 9!

My daughter is a very young 8, so I'm just now starting the "conversation" (hate the term "the talk"). Has any one looked into the HPV vaccine? I'm pretty certain I will have her vaccinated.

 

[coastal-boy]

I talked with by kidlet boy at age 7...just basic stuff cause mom was pregnant.

I think the HPV vaccine will become pretty much standard policy. We are learning ALOT about many cancers and some flat out are caused by viruses. You should note that the HPV vaccine is most effective only prior to exposure to the virus. Therefore...it needs to be given before she becomes sexually eposed. My daughter is 8 months...we have already talked about it with our doctore and we will have it as part of the standard vaccines she gets prior to school


by the way, the CDC does not reccommend girls this young to be vaccinated with the vaccines present today. It just happens that our pedi also is involved in clinical trials of a new vaccine and he expects this one to be approved in about 4 yrs. That one works far better and can be administered far earlier.

 

[OQueen]

I talked with by kidlet boy at age 7...just basic stuff cause mom was pregnant.

I think the HPV vaccine will become pretty much standard policy. We are learning ALOT about many cancers and some flat out are caused by viruses. You should note that the HPV vaccine is most effective only prior to exposure to the virus. Therefore...it needs to be given before she becomes sexually eposed. My daughter is 8 months...we have already talked about it with our doctore and we will have it as part of the standard vaccines she gets prior to school


by the way, the CDC does not reccommend girls this young to be vaccinated with the vaccines present today. It just happens that our pedi also is involved in clinical trials of a new vaccine and he expects this one to be approved in about 4 yrs. That one works far better and can be administered far earlier.

Yes, I know, she needs to get it before she is active sexually. I was thinking 11 or 12. Her check up is coming up and I will talk to the doctor about it. And if the good stuff won't be approved for 4 yrs, do we wait or get what is available now?

 

[horsie_gurl]

never had one

Never had a talk. We had a lesson about puberty in fifth grade, I've had the science of sex in health class, but to be honest I was just learning bits from porn and guys I cybered with when I was younger (yeah...too young)

Some people say porn gives teens an unrealistic sense of sex, but it seemed to have worked for me. The second guy to ever receive a blow job from me said he has never felt something so amazing. I've also pleased a few guys with my sex, so I think I must have learned something right.

Anyway, back to the topic. My parents just ignore the subject, but my grandma gave me condoms for Christmas, awkward but hilarious for the whole family.

 

[unregistered]

 

[cassieh]

I never had the talk. I remember telling my mom my period had started, and she gave me a box of pads and told me to use them.

I learned about sex from my father's magazines and movies, and from experience.

 

[OQueen]

When I was in to see my OB/GYN at my last appt, he and I discussed the HPV vaccine. He brought it up, shared his personal turmoil in making the decision for his daughter, told me of conversations he had with several other doctors. After this conversation I'm certain I will have my daughters vaccinated. Prior to that I wasn't sure.

Yes, the more I read the more certain I am that she will be vaccinated. Then the question becomes "When?" Have to give it before first intercourse.

 

[infinity706]

I'd say, go ahead and get the HPV vaccine as soon as possible. Getting the vaccine doesn't mean anyone has to go out and get fucked right now.