The Survival Thread

[chy_girl]

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
~Langston Hughes​

Years ago, during the worst of my depression, I learned the value seeing humor in the least funny of situations, and in a recent conversation with dear friend the idea of this thread was born. This being said, I present to you all The Survival Thread.

A thread of funny affirmations, sardonic observation, and all thing in general that help us laugh at life when it feels like we're being sucked into a never ending abyss only to discover that we're actually in the process of being chewed up, swallowed, regurgitated, spit out and firmly stomped on by the previously mentioned life. At least that's what it feels like.

That being said, let the laughter (and search for mental well being) commence!

 

[chy_girl]

> Too much mystery is merely an annoyance. Too much adventure is exhausting. And a little terror goes a long way.
~Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz


> Ladies and gentleman take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice!
~MASH the series
(Don't ask me why that one has stuck for the better part of two decades, but it's the one that comes to mind at the worst of times)

> That which does not kill me had better run pretty damned fast.

 

[graceanne]

Well, most of my favorite quotes are in my sig line.

Recently, though, I saw a bumper sticker that had me in stitches. It said:

I am not going to name names, but some of us are slowing down the evolutionary process.

 

[chy_girl]

Watch Me!

And then I dare you not to laugh. Come on, you know you've secretly had that thought more than once in the grocery story.

 

[tigressnred]

> Too much mystery is merely an annoyance. Too much adventure is exhausting. And a little terror goes a long way.
~Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz


> Ladies and gentleman take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice!
~MASH the series
(Don't ask me why that one has stuck for the better part of two decades, but it's the one that comes to mind at the worst of times)

> That which does not kill me had better run pretty damned fast.

hello my darlings....chy I love this one about what doesn't kill me had better run fast damnit give me a gun or a knife I 'm after the monster......hahaahahahahahaha!

 

[graceanne]

Watch Me!

And then I dare you not to laugh. Come on, you know you've secretly had that thought more than once in the grocery story.

LOL OMG

 

[chy_girl]

hello my darlings....chy I love this one about what doesn't kill me had better run fast damnit give me a gun or a knife I 'm after the monster......hahaahahahahahaha!

I tend to scare people with that one. Every time someone says that to me IRL, I just look at them like they've lost their mind, then give them the alternate version. It's priceless.

 

[chy_girl]

LOL OMG

Come on... You've never, ever been tempted to wander up to the parent of the four spawns of Satan having a food fight in the produce department, tap them on the shoulder, and very nicely point out that condoms are on isle 5?

 

[graceanne]

Come on... You've never, ever been tempted to wander up to the parent of the four spawns of Satan having a food fight in the produce department, tap them on the shoulder, and very nicely point out that condoms are on isle 5?

No. I've been there done that. Well, not that bad, but I've been the parent with the child in my cart screaming, or the two children trying to kill each other. The other day we were leaving McDonalds and D called B a cheater, and she SCREAMED "I am not" and he said 'cheater cheater cheater' and she literally jumped on him and started punching him.

She ended up doing sentences for most of the evening.

Either way, I've had people say things like that to me, and it pissed me off, cause they have no idea what's going on in my kids lives. As I've discussed before my son is severely ADHD, and we've recently discovered he also has a borderline sensory disorder ('cause he keeps burning himself and it doesn't hurt him). He has no concept of consequences and gives the appearance of an out of control child.

 

[tigressnred]

I tend to scare people with that one. Every time someone says that to me IRL, I just look at them like they've lost their mind, then give them the alternate version. It's priceless.

It's so empowering......for those who know the darkness that keep you trapped locked away....imprisoned .........I love it.! .........thank you.......

 

[chy_girl]

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

 

[tigressnred]

ok........so I went to bed early last night turned on the tv to some comedy trying to cheer up .......like that is something you can do, but I figured what the hell, so the first comedian to come on lo and behold is talking about bipolar and depression.......unbelieveable!
so here are a few jokes she told ......

."So I'm bipolar, but it's ok I 'm only that way half the time"

" I went to the drugstore to pick up my perscription the pharamasict says that'll be 200$
I say 200$ I can get a good bottle of Vodka for 6$ and don't have to have health insurance"

 

[chy_girl]

Happy Monday!

Clicky is work and kid safe.

 

[Cattypuss]

Treat everything in life as if you were a dog: if you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it and walk away.

 

[tigressnred]

one..little two.....little three.....little Lithium......

 

[chy_girl]

YouTube video

Not for small viewers. Maybe not safe for bosses. But it's funny.



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