The Submissive's Creed

[MissTaken]

Below is the "Submissive's Creed" as found at BDSM Backroom.com. I thought it was worthy of discussion. Do subs feel that they are or will eventually be able to commit to such a creed? Do Dom/mes feel that such a creed is accurate and in good taste? What might you edit? Where, as a sub, do you struggle with following the creed?

I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Top and I from from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.

I will not try to manipulate my Top. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. In other words, I will not top from the bottom.

I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and expanding my limits. I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.

I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Top, and will do my best to fufill their wishes and desires.

I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused. I know that submissive does not equal doormat.

I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others in the hope that they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.

I will be responsive to my Top. I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist them in their responsibilities as my authority. I know that Dominants are not telepaths, and will not expect my Top to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.

I will accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame on my Top when it is not warranted simply because they are the Dominant. I realize that things may not work out as they should at times, and will do my best to put it behind me and move on.

I will give my gift of submission only to those that can responsibly accept and desire to receive. I will not place anyone in the position of Topping me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to someone that has not earned it.

I will be obedient to my Top even if I disagree with what they are requesting. I realize they have my best interests at heart and often knows better than I what I need in a particular situation.

I know that my actions reflect upon my Top, and will do my best to help others see them in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Dominant.

Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honor. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in who and what I am and will never show myself in a negative way.

 

[artful]

Below is the "Submissive's Creed" as found at BDSM Backroom.com. I thought it was worthy of discussion. Do subs feel that they are or will eventually be able to commit to such a creed? Do Dom/mes feel that such a creed is accurate and in good taste? What might you edit? Where, as a sub, do you struggle with following the creed?

EDITED:

I will first look within myself to discover my needs, wants, desires, and limits. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent communicating those same things to a prospective Dom/me, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.

After communicating those insights to a prospective Dom/me, and agreeing to participate in a relationship, and/or scene, I will not try to manipulate and/or change our agreement, outside of an open discussion between we two, prior to further participation. I will not top from the bottom.

I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Dom/mes, and will do my best to fufill their wishes and desires.

I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others in the hope that they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take the time to help those new to the lifestyle start out on the correct path.

I will be responsive to my Dom/me. I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling, so that I may assist them in their responsibilities as my authority. I know that Dom/mes are not telepaths, and will not expect my Dom/me to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.

I realize that things may not work out as they should at times, and will do my best to put it behind me and move on.

I will be obedient to my Dom/me even if I disagree with what they are requesting. I realize they have my best interests at heart and often know better than I what I need in a particular situation.

I know that my actions reflect upon my Dom/me, and will do my best to help others see them in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Dominant.

Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honor. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in my obedience as regards the scene, and/or relationship.

When the scene, and/or relationship is over, I will search my inner being for the positives of the experience, I will learn MORE about myself so that the NEXT scene, and/or relationship, may be BETTER for both the prospective Dom/me and myself.

Submitted with respect-

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, artful!

Those were much needed changes that slipped my notice.

 

[WillowPuss]

Wow ... good question.
I have actually signed a contract - but will have a go at commenting on the creed you found.
Where I feel it needs editing, I will do so in italics.

I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Master and I from from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.

I am in full agreement of this - the only amendment is the word 'top'

I will not try to manipulate my Master. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. In other words, I will not top from the bottom.

I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and expanding my limits. I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.

I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Master, and will do my best to fufill their wishes and desires.

I am still finding things to learn after 25 years!

I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused. I know that submissive does not equal doormat.

I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others in the hope that they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.

I will be responsive to my Master. I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist them in their responsibilities as my authority. I know that Dominants are not telepaths, and will not expect my Master to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.

I will accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame on my Master when it is not warranted simply because they are the Dominant. I realize that things may not work out as they should at times, and will do my best to put it behind me and move on.

I will give my gift of submission only to those that can responsibly accept and desire to receive, and only when I am free to give it. I will not place anyone in the position of Topping me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to someone that has not earned it.

I will be obedient to my Master even if I disagree with what they are requesting. I realize they have my best interests at heart and often knows better than I what I need in a particular situation.

I know that my actions reflect upon my Master, and will do my best to help others see them in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Master.

Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honour. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in who and what I am and will never show myself in a negative way.

I have a feeling that this creed would be an acceptable instrument for those submissives not in a relationship. I cannot see many Dom/mes wanting the submissive saying that they will give their gift to those deserving of it and earning it when they are already in a relationship. (Hope I made sense here)

 

[~Dream~]

Re: Re: The Submissive's Creed

Wow ... good question.
I have actually signed a contract - but will have a go at commenting on the creed you found.
Where I feel it needs editing, I will do so in italics.




I have a feeling that this creed would be an acceptable instrument for those submissives not in a relationship. I cannot see many Dom/mes wanting the submissive saying that they will give their gift to those deserving of it and earning it when they are already in a relationship. (Hope I made sense here)

I CAN NEVER SEE MYSELF AGREEING to the use of that word "TOP" MY Master is a human being and not some darn direction lol I find Master a more respectful and appropriate word to be used in the creed as WILLOW has so nicely put it..and it is indeed highly relevant for me to search for things inside my own self and take responsibility to let my needs be known to Master when it is called for..

 

[confused20]

plz dont shoot me!

Ok...im sure i wont be in the majority on this, but from my mental perspective i prefer the designator of Top or just Dom

...im opposed to Master only becuz it has been explained to me that a "slave" is usually a submissive in a 24/7 TPE...and slave pairs up with Master in my head

my interest in BDSM is as a bedroom activity only...so i dont feel i am a "slave" and i would not be comfortable calling my Dom my "Master"

this is just me! i would leave the creed "as is" in that respect.

*presses more closely into her corner hoping not to draw a ton of atention* *eep!*

 

[SexyChele]

Re: plz dont shoot me!

Ok...im sure i wont be in the majority on this, but from my mental perspective i prefer the designator of Top or just Dom

...im opposed to Master only becuz it has been explained to me that a "slave" is usually a submissive in a 24/7 TPE...and slave pairs up with Master in my head

my interest in BDSM is as a bedroom activity only...so i dont feel i am a "slave" and i would not be comfortable calling my Dom my "Master"

this is just me! i would leave the creed "as is" in that respect.

*presses more closely into her corner hoping not to draw a ton of atention* *eep!*

Aw...you can come out of hiding, confused! I agree with you, actually. I prefer leaving "top" in as well. Or, possibly "Dominant". Not everyone I play with will ever gain the title of "Master" for me. That is a very special title - reserved for the very, very few, very proud, very good. Sorta like the Marines!

But then, I just wonder exactly what this "creed" is supposed to be for? If one has already negotiated a relationship, why do they need a "creed"? And if one is not yet in a relationship, it seems totally unnecessary.

Seems to me this is just a bit of "fluff", written by some one who has a lot of time on their hands. But then, that's just my opinion.

 

[artful]

Re: Re: plz dont shoot me!

Aw...you can come out of hiding, confused! I agree with you, actually. I prefer leaving "top" in as well. Or, possibly "Dominant". Not everyone I play with will ever gain the title of "Master" for me. That is a very special title - reserved for the very, very few, very proud, very good. Sorta like the Marines!

But then, I just wonder exactly what this "creed" is supposed to be for? If one has already negotiated a relationship, why do they need a "creed"? And if one is not yet in a relationship, it seems totally unnecessary.

Seems to me this is just a bit of "fluff", written by some one who has a lot of time on their hands. But then, that's just my opinion.

I tend to agree with you Chele,...I think it MIGHT be useful ONLY for a beginner. Somewhat as an INTRODUCTION.

 

[Lancecastor]

A nice bit of fluff...

...as suggested by SC and others.

Sounds like it's edging over towards that fantasy type D/s stuff....you know, the ones that live next door to the Furries.

Which, I guess, explains how they wind up with fluff on themselves in the first place.

Lance

 

[Ebonyfire]

It is useful

I have found that most of the men who approach Me do not tell the truth when they say they are submissives. Most have spent a great deal of time with their respective fantasies, and they do not really have a sense of submissive behaviour.

9 out of 10 I meet are not submissives at all. They are fetishists looking for satisfaction. So reading this and other information from various sources helps to educate the unknowing, scare off the unable, and get rid of the unwilling.

I hate to have my time wasted.

Eb

 

[Lancecastor]

Hmmmm....

....sounds like you have a captive market with pent-up demand for an "Introduction to Submission" seminar series, Eb....maybe a 900#?

Ka-ching;

Lance

I have found that most of the men who approach Me do not tell the truth when they say they are submissives. Most have spent a great deal of time with their respective fantasies, and they do not really have a sense of submissive behaviour.

9 out of 10 I meet are not submissives at all. They are fetishists looking for satisfaction. So reading this and other information from various sources helps to educate the unknowing, scare off the unable, and get rid of the unwilling.

I hate to have my time wasted.

Eb

 

[MissTaken]

For me

This could be a good tool to use with someone new to the lifestyle. It very succintly identifies the general expectations between a Dom and sub.

It is rather romantic in nature, but don't many of us enter into our search with stars in our eyes?

Yes, I posted this primarily for the many new folks to have a gander and to benefit from the discussion of the old timers!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Re: For me

This could be a good tool to use with someone new to the lifestyle. It very succintly identifies the general expectations between a Dom and sub.

It is rather romantic in nature, but don't many of us enter into our search with stars in our eyes?

Yes, I posted this primarily for the many new folks to have a gander and to benefit from the discussion of the old timers!

The discussion in and of itself has been useful, MissT.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Hmmmm....

....sounds like you have a captive market with pent-up demand for an "Introduction to Submission" seminar series, Eb....maybe a 900#?

Ka-ching;

Lance

Hmmmmm, I may get out of debt yet!

Eb

 

[artful]

Just another Post

Hmmmmm, I may get out of debt yet!

Eb

The danger HERE, is that all too often,...when we find we have paid for all our material *THINGS*.

Upon inventory,...it is difficult to find anything of true value in those things we labored so hard to buy.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Just another Post

The danger HERE, is that all too often,...when we find we have paid for all our material *THINGS*.

Upon inventory,...it is difficult to find anything of true value in those things we labored so hard to buy.

I do not have that problem Bro.

Eb

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Just another Post

I do not have that problem Bro. You are taking this way too seriously.

Eb

 

[MsWorthy]

Re: Re: Re: The Submissive's Creed

I CAN NEVER SEE MYSELF AGREEING to the use of that word "TOP" MY Master is a human being and not some darn direction lol I find Master a more respectful and appropriate word to be used in the creed as WILLOW has so nicely put it..and it is indeed highly relevant for me to search for things inside my own self and take responsibility to let my needs be known to Master when it is called for..

In all of the research and reading I have done, the term Top is used to distinguish a participant in the bdsm playstyle from one in the bdsm lifestyle. Just as "bottom" is used to distinguish a receiver of sexual bdsm from a submissive bdsm lifestyler.

This is the first site I have found in which the two were/are used interchangeably. When I think of a Top I think of someone who dominates sexually and is egalitarian outside of the bedroom. When I think of a Dominant, I think of someone who controls in many or all areas of her/his personal life (altho not necessarily sexually).

When I think of a bottom, I think of someone who is submissive only during sex, whereas a submissive gives up some or all of her personal power in a relationship, not just in the bedroom.

~It seems, to me, that it would be easier to identify as a top/bottom if one is seeking bdsm in the bedroom only rather than identify as a dominant/submissive and have to qualify that by saying, "but I only dominate/submit in the bedroom."~


As far as the submissive's creed goes. I can see the use of a creed if it is used as a reminder and a way of looking at the big picture. Sometimes we tend to get caught up in the details and forget what our goals are.

If I were to write a creed for my submissive, it would contain just one reminder:

I will take responsibility for my own submission.

What this means to me is that she will accept her submissive desires, work toward accepting the domination she craves, take responsibility for the mistakes she makes, and find the strength in herself to give up her personal power rather than hope/expect/wish it will be "taken" from her. (In my opinion, expecting someone to take your power from you is wading into dangerous territory. Someone who will take anything from you is not a dominant/top, she/he is a bully.)

I haven't met many submissives who are willing to take responsibility for her/his own submission. Instead they seem to be looking for someone to protect/love/cherish/accept them, as they do just as they please without taking any responsibilty for their professed submissive needs.

But then I don't know many submissive's.

 

[SexyChele]

Well, since a "creed" is a set of principles or beliefs, it would seem to me that each couple involved in a BDSM lifesyle or playtime would have their own "creed" to follow. It is so individualistic, that I don't think any one set of rules would apply to all persons.

I like MsWorthy's idea - create your own! I could see using this one (or any number out there) as a basis, but it comes down to the individuals involved and how they decide to conduct their relationship.