The stupidest things ever said

[Dixon Carter Lee]

My fellow astronauts...
Vice-President Dan Quayle, beginning a speech at an Apollo 11 anniversary celebration

 

[JazzManJim]

"I did not have sex with that woman".
- Former President Bill Clinton

(This is the quote that caused a tilting of the Earth's axis because several billion people woldwide rolled their eyes at exactly the same moment!)

 

[Guest]

 

[Jersey Citizen]

"I did not have sex with that woman".
- Former President Bill Clinton

(This is the quote that caused a tilting of the Earth's axis because several billion people woldwide rolled their eyes at exactly the same moment!)

I think you misquoted him, JMJ. He said "sexual relations," and that's when I knew he was, umm, prevaricating. If he had said "sex" plain and simple, it would have made a world of difference.

 

[freescorfr]

"I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate during a news conference in which he was asked his opinion about the Holocaust

You can't do better than this. Give up now.

 

[JazzManJim]

You're absolutely correct, and that really did make the difference. Had he merely said "sex", I might well have believed him.

 

[BustyTheClown]

"Hello, my name is George W. Bush."

Nuff said

 

[JazzManJim]

I have a couple I dug up from an old text file I kept just for this purpose.

Here's a couple from former VP Al Gore:
"I invented the internet"
"I didn't realize I was in a Buddhist Temple"

A great one from Alicia Silverstone:
"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

Kind of a dated one from Senator Barbara Boxer:
"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."

Three from our Former President Clinton:
"I don't think the Republicans can damage my character"
"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that."
"You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say."

Jacques LeBlanc, Former French Ambassador:
"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding."

Yep, this is Mariah Carey:
"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

 

[BustyTheClown]

Yep, this is Mariah Carey:
"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Lmfao!!!!!!

 

[Hamletmaschine]

"I am not a crook."

~R. M. Nixon

 

[RawHumor]

Yep, this is Mariah Carey:
"Whenever I watch TV and I see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I would love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Actually, that's an Urban Legend .

How about (and I saw a video of this back on the old Rush Limbaugh TV show) Al Gore walking into a museum with portraits of the founding fathers: "... and who are THESE people?"

Ummm... that'd be George Washington over there, Al.

 

[Dillinger]

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

(Brooke Shields, said to demonstrate why she should become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign.)

 

[Lasz]

"These Retards are going to kick some ass"

-Jean Claude Van Damme at the opening ceremonies for the special olympics

 

[fairview]

"There will be peace in our time"
Neville Chamberline. 1930s

 

[Phoenyx]

We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca

"I would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." -- Miss Alabama 1994

"I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpopulated." -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." -- David Dinkins, mayor of New York City

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Seems like everyone found the same web site I did LOL. Ain't the Internet amazing?

 

[LukkyKnight]

A three-fer from Mister Potatoe Head

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

Former Vice President J. Danforth Quayle


How did this guy ever get elected to anything?

 

[perks]

"let them eat cake"

yeah it's dated, but the history.....<grin>.

 

[freescorfr]

"let them eat cake"

yeah it's dated, but the history.....<grin>.

My kids never understood that. They thought eating cake was always a good idea.

Maybe I should open the Marie Antoinette Patisserie here.

 

[perks]

My kids never understood that. They thought eating cake was always a good idea.

Maybe I should open the Marie Antoinette Patisserie here.

lmao.. that would be ill advised... the kids might like it, but their parents would be offended... well, if they knew what the hell you were referring to.

 

[Dillinger]

OK... this doesn't fall into the stupidest things ever said - but its not from one of those web sites, and I've been wanting to post it somewhere - so this will do as well as anywhere:

"It's our fault. We should have given him better parts." ( Jack Warner, on hearing that Reagan had been elected governor of California. Warner is also reported to have said when told of Reagan's candidacy for governor, "No, Jimmy Stewart for Governor; Reagan for best friend.")

 

[scylis]

"honey, the toilet's broken. you think you could take a look at it real soon?"

*absentmindedly while watching the game* "yes dear."

"thank you. are you going to do that before you go out with the guys once the game's over?"

"yes dear."

"honey, now be honest. do these jeans make my but look big?"

"yes dear."

*smack* *thwomp* *biff* *Batman fight word*