The self: to lose or to find? (a different type of quote thread to bury)

[Hamletmaschine]

I'd like to follow the classic sermon style of text + commentary/exegesis here. Our text comes from Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay, "Circles," and the passage I'd like to hear your comments on is this one:

The one thing which we seek with insatiable desire is to forget ourselves, to be surprised out of our propriety, to lose our sepiternal memory and to do something without knowing how or why, in short to draw a new circle.

Occasionally, I read some quite moving comments by people here that sound the theme of "discovering" oneself or "finding" oneself--as if the individual had somehow lost or misplaced him/herself somewhere along the way.

While I understand that sentiment, I think, and don't wish to make light of it, I've always thought the problem was just the opposite for most people, really. They're too stuck in themselves, and what they really need is to "lose" themselves for awhile.

Do you desire to lose or to find yourself? Do you agree with Emerson or disagree? Is your being here, among your fellow congregants at Literotica, part of an attempt to lose or find yourself?

 

[Calamity Jane]

While I understand that sentiment, I think, and don't wish to make light of it, I've always thought the problem was just the opposite for most people, really. They're too stuck in themselves, and what they really need is to "lose" themselves for awhile.

I generally make a distinction between myself and my Self. I think too often we get trapped in the idea of ourselves as a collection of traits and forget that at our core, there is a Self that shouldn't be denied. How's that for making no sense?

Do you desire to lose or to find yourself? Do you agree with Emerson or disagree? Is your being here, among your fellow congregants at Literotica, part of an attempt to lose or find yourself?

I hope to both lose myself and find my Self. Lit is both the shedding of the old skin and the finding of the me that was.

 

[kotori]

Why do I feel like this should be in a blue book? Do you still use those?

I would have to disagree with Emerson. As much as I like the idea of loosing yourself, your memory, your past--I don't think it's possible. I certainly wouldn't call it an "insatiable desire."

To be "surprised out of propriety" to me evokes something different. One of the things that mannerist artist (in any period) try to do is "tweak" convention, to look at a familiar thing in a new way. Think of Richard Meier's version of the art museum (say the High in Atlanta) versus Frank Gehry's version (the Bilbao Guggenheim). Gehry sure knows how to surprise us out of convention, but it you need the memory, the past, the convention. Sometimes, even the placement of window--say near your feet--may cause you to view the world (literally) from a different point-of-view.

I'm making a new me (and this place apparently for better or worse is a part of that) and that means losing some of the old and finding somethings that are new.

Doesn't answer the question very well, but thanx for the brain candy, Ham.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

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[Hamletmaschine]

The distinction b/w "myself" and the "Self" in Pagancowgirl's remarks is a good "take" on the issue. Is the "myself" that set of social roles we end up playing in life, and which tend to mask or conceal the inner, essential "self" that we all like to believe we have? I think "finding oneself" often means shedding those old skins in an attempt to discover the essential self.

Kotori, your remarks remind me of a distinction the composer John Cage made between "grace" and "clarity" as necessary components of art. "Grace" being the new, the innovative, the surprising or shocking, the vanguard, and "clarity" being the link to and respect for convention and tradition. I like the connection between the question and aesthetics, because I think Emerson's notion of selfhood is in some ways aesthetic.

I'm sorry, Morgy, I lost myself staring at those hubba-bubbas in your av. What was it you were saying...?

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

Sorry... I take the lighter side of this board most times. But I was just letting my sig line say it for me.

I think you have to lose yourself sometimes...in order to find yourself. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, and let go. Let go of your fears. Your pain. the only way to move on and to forget, is to truly leave the past in the past.

That's me...stepping off my little soap-box.

 

[Calamity Jane]

The distinction b/w "myself" and the "Self" in Pagancowgirl's remarks is a good "take" on the issue. Is the "myself" that set of social roles we end up playing in life, and which tend to mask or conceal the inner, essential "self" that we all like to believe we have? I think "finding oneself" often means shedding those old skins in an attempt to discover the essential self.

Exactly. When I think of myself, it's wrapped up in social convention... my relationships with others... my own personal limitations, and those I feel are imposed on my by others. My Self is seperate from that, exempt from constraint. It's the part of me that gets pushed aside/buried/lost underneath daily obligations and responsibilities.

 

[angelika]

(originally posted by Hamletmaschine)

While I understand that sentiment, I think, and don't wish to make light of it, I've always thought the problem was just the opposite for most people, really. They're too stuck in themselves, and what they really need is to "lose" themselves for awhile.

Do you desire to lose or to find yourself? Do you agree with Emerson or disagree? Is your being here, among your fellow congregants at Literotica, part of an attempt to lose or find yourself? [/B]

Wonderful question!

For me, I spend too much time in my head so my need/desire is to lose myself.

My purpose for being here on the Lit Board is in part to build connections with others and in part to expand my connection with myself; part of which is losing and part of which is finding depending upon the present circumstance.