The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

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James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.

That's a good thing. Kudos to James R. Scouries FUCKING ESQUIRE. He has the balls to bounce the squirrel bait off the wall.
 
Free speech???????????????

QUOTE :rose: sarahhh :rose: Well, I guess I won't have a story in the contest either. First time in like 5 1/2 years. My entry, which you so graciously mused me on, entitled "The Candidates are Cumming, the . . ." has been rejected. The reason given being:

In response to overwhelming reader feedback, we have decided at this time not to publish partisan political articles or anything related to the current U.S. election. You are more than welcome to publish this piece on our Forum: http://forum.literotica.com/


HUH!!! Are you shitting me? This is a dark day for America!

[size=+2]Censorship in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave?[/size]

The story I was the muse for? My guess is that danikat :devil: is behind this!

Another of these nefarious AH land plots! I’ll bet mr tex :nana: is involved! robyn :eek: and serena :p too!

This is outrageous!

Post it on SOL!

Feel free to post it on my thread!

I’ll write the QUEEN :cattail:!

What happened to free speech?

We need you :rose: sarahhh :rose:! The contest needs you! Our reading public needs you!

You still have almost a month to write another one. I’ll muse you again! Please honey don’t give up! A contest without an entry from you and I would be a calamity…

How about a cheerleader, “Loving Wife”, “Interracial”, “Fetish”, “Lesbian” story? An NFL head coach, his wife feeding her thick mothers cream to both his new daughter as well as his prize cornerback, is caught sleeping with two cheerleaders, the ebony skinned Ashanda and the blond Brittany, in the owners box just one hour before the game.

And Brittany’s dad, the evil, mustached, big cocked, redneck Dougie….

Well that’s a start anyway…

jim
 
QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) bounce the squirrel bait off the wall? huh?

It’s a football term ma’am.

Nooooo, not Australian Rules football…

You gotta get out of your atelier once in a while! BTW how is the picture of the boss we commissioned cumming?

We’re expecting a Rousseau-ian jungle scene – the brave, naked leader of the scourian :heart: experience, his thick snake tumescent and ready, fighting off the hordes of frustrated miss omegians who are dying to be cured.

QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) Did you guys hear that PETA wants Ben & Jerry's to replace 75% of the milk in their products with breast milk?

Gawd, do not tell the boss. Some times I think the only reason he wanted me pregnant is so that he can milk me… and I promise you, I'm not sticking my breasts in the freezer no matter how many times he asks...

Gabby
 
QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) bounce the squirrel bait off the wall? huh?

It’s a football term ma’am.

Nooooo, not Australian Rules football…

You gotta get out of your atelier once in a while! BTW how is the picture of the boss we commissioned cumming?

We’re expecting a Rousseau-ian jungle scene – the brave, naked leader of the scourian :heart: experience, his thick snake tumescent and ready, fighting off the hordes of frustrated miss omegians who are dying to be cured.

QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) Did you guys hear that PETA wants Ben & Jerry's to replace 75% of the milk in their products with breast milk?

Gawd, do not tell the boss. Some times I think the only reason he wanted me pregnant is so that he can milk me… and I promise you, I'm not sticking my breasts in the freezer no matter how many times he asks...

Gabby
Just make sure to remind him that your vinyl will freeze and crack if he puts you in the freezer.
 

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the users of this forum.
 
QUOTE danikat :devil: Just make sure to remind him that your vinyl will freeze and crack if he puts you in the freezer.

[size=+2]YES!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!![/size]


An attempt at humor from the danikat :devil:.

I’d almost given up. I wasn’t sure she still had it in her.

I was afraid the sweet, smiling, fun but shy little girl we all once loved was long gone. That in her quest for scourian like fame and fortune she’d lost every last ounce of her innocent cuteness…

That the girl who once frolicked naked with :rose: sarahhh :rose: and I on the hot, sun baked sands of Miami Beach was no more…

That the giggling, giddy, wisecracking gamin had grown as grumpy as her grown up sister :p

So what’s up? Did you get laid this aft? I told you it would help!

….you know, maybe there is hope for you after all… when my head hits the pillow tonight I’m sure it’ll be visions of a younger, sweeter nymph-like danikat :cattail: that will be floating in my head…

...nighty night you little lovely you...

jim
 
QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) bounce the squirrel bait off the wall? huh?

It’s a football term ma’am.

Nooooo, not Australian Rules football…

Not all talented, female Lit writers are in Austailia. I'm in Pennsylvania.

You gotta get out of your atelier once in a while! BTW how is the picture of the boss we commissioned cumming?

I'm actually spending most of my time outside of my art studio. The floor is being refinished. My easel, paints, and canvases take up considerable room in my bedroom, so I definitely look forward to getting it finished. Maybe the fumes of the paint thinner are getting to me.. considering who I am talking to...


commisioned painting? I'll start it when I get actual currency to do so. I charge $350 for a 3'x2' oil painting. (which is very reasonable) The art supply store doesn't accept Monopoly money. (I wish they did!) When you put away the pretty yellow and blue bills and send a money order (that's not in crayon), I'll get right on it.

and I promise you, I'm not sticking my breasts in the freezer no matter how many times he asks...

I can't blame you, but it could be worse, dear. You could be left in a closet. (Check my story after it posts tonight.)

btw, how good is scouries' electrical wiring?
 
James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Please also note, any claimed emails or PMs sent to Laurel and/or Manu go left unanswered and James R. Scouries (a.k.a. Grand_High_Poohbah) earns no money writing for this site. In fact, check your Monopoly game, you may be missing some money there.

Oh and he's a delusional fuck-wit, too.
 
QUOTE danikat :devil: Just make sure to remind him that your vinyl will freeze and crack if he puts you in the freezer.

[size=+2]YES!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!![/size]


An attempt at humor from the danikat :devil:.

I’d almost given up. I wasn’t sure she still had it in her.

I was afraid the sweet, smiling, fun but shy little girl we all once loved was long gone. That in her quest for scourian like fame and fortune she’d lost every last ounce of her innocent cuteness…

That the girl who once frolicked naked with :rose: sarahhh :rose: and I on the hot, sun baked sands of Miami Beach was no more…

That the giggling, giddy, wisecracking gamin had grown as grumpy as her grown up sister :p

So what’s up? Did you get laid this aft? I told you it would help!

….you know, maybe there is hope for you after all… when my head hits the pillow tonight I’m sure it’ll be visions of a younger, sweeter nymph-like danikat :cattail: that will be floating in my head…

...nighty night you little lovely you...

jim
Jimbo, once more, I've never been to Florida and even if I had, the last place I would be "frolicking" would be with you and Mr. Sarahhh. Cause that would be...ewwww yuckie. I like my penises big enough to feel.
 
QUOTE :rose: sarahhh :rose: Well, I guess I won't have a story in the contest either. First time in like 5 1/2 years. My entry, which you so graciously mused me on, entitled "The Candidates are Cumming, the . . ." has been rejected. The reason given being:

In response to overwhelming reader feedback, we have decided at this time not to publish partisan political articles or anything related to the current U.S. election. You are more than welcome to publish this piece on our Forum: http://forum.literotica.com/


HUH!!! Are you shitting me? This is a dark day for America!

[size=+2]Censorship in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave?[/size]

The story I was the muse for? My guess is that danikat :devil: is behind this!

Another of these nefarious AH land plots! I’ll bet mr tex :nana: is involved! robyn :eek: and serena :p too!

This is outrageous!

What disturbs me the most is that the censor didn't even bother to come up with a credible excuse.
 
QUOTE Sarahhh :rose: What disturbs me the most is that the censor didn't even bother to come up with a credible excuse

While I have a long history of having stories rejected by the site (something like 15 of my stories have been originally rejected) I must say that my rejections are always accompanied by some explanation. Mind you the explanation is never specific. And in fact I once suggested to the QUEEN that the ‘censors’ be much more specific when they reject a story. Surprise, surprise, I never heard back!

After perusing some of the early contest entries today it’s hard for me to imagine any story having been rejected for any reason! Clearly you’ve been ROYALLY FUCKED as they’re wont to say.

Write on young maiden :rose:! Your public eagerly awaits your next wonderful work,

jim

QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) My easel, paints, and canvases take up considerable room in my bedroom… maybe the fumes of the paint thinner are getting to me… you could be left in a closet. (Check my story after it posts tonight.)

Dear lady, I just checked it out. And after three or four paragraphs I’d decided the fumes had got to you. I struggled on and finally found a reference to the mother of my soon to arrive daughter. The girl whose breasts will soon flow with life sustaining milk.

I’m sorry but I didn’t understand the story! I sorta sped read to the end trying to see if something was going to happen. WTF? Gabby’s famous but does that justify the QUEEN :cattail: putting the story in the Celebrity category I asked myself. The whole thing was incomprehensible to me and would have remained so if I hadn’t read the danikat’s :cattail: comment about it being her favorite show. Show?

So I googled around and found there actually is a show and your story is based on it. I hate to have to admit that I’ve never heard of it let alone seen it. I’m sorry but I didn’t vote and/or comment on your story due to my complete ignorance of the ‘Ghostbuster’ background…

And why wasn’t I prominently featured? A more scourian slant could have elevated this into the big time…

So for now I’d watch a little less TV and concentrate on the painting!

QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) I charge $350 for a 3'x2' oil… btw, how good is scouries' electrical wiring?


Look, what I’m looking for, as I explained to your Boston agent Frederico :D is something like Henri Rousseau’s “The Dream”. Now that paintings is about 7’x10’ and the good old ‘Douanier’ was able to produce and sell this painting (now hanging in New York at the MOMA) for about 35 francs (including tax)!

Which works out to about a half franc per square foot for a masterpiece and you want $350 for 6 sq. ft.? 60 American buckeroos per foot! Heck, at that price you could call your painting ‘The American Dream’.

How about you do the painting gratis and I’ll send you the complete ScouriesWorld Emerald Membership Pack (an eleven hundred dollar value) free.

And remember, to have a Friskystein :) owned by yours truly would elevate everything you produce for the rest of your life…


And oh, I suspect my “wiring” will be quite adequate to light up your bedroom my dear…


james r scouries
 
Quarterly Results Released....

Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size],

mr scouries, jim, promised in his third post (way back when) on this thread to update his numbers quarterly. Using the same format he used then, here they are 14 months later:
*figures are as of September 30th, 2008

[SIZE=+2]
QUARTERLY RESULTS[/SIZE]​

SCOURIES TOP SELLERS – COMPLETE STORIES

1 – 1,171,401 - Ohh Mommy, I cried (Literotica’s largest seller in 2007 and 2008)
2 – 1,035,295 - Daddy, I whispered (Literotica’s #1 story of all time)
3 – 242,500 – Halloween Mom
4 – 226,805 - Gayle’s Dad
5 – 199,702 - My Sisters Milk
6 – 181,587 – Two Pregnant Moms
7 – 156,538 - Valentine Siblings
8 – 151,230 - Allison’s Ankle
9 – 145,312 – Gabriella’s Daddy
10 – 124,693 - Flaherty Family
11 – 124,363 - A Nun’s Fall
12 – 122,870 - Geoff and Melanie
13 – 112,100 – Me, Mom and Mrs. Mahmoud
14 – 104,722 – Daddy’s XXX Casting Call
15 – 103,326 - Who’s Your Daddy
16 – 103,259 – Ex-Con’s Big Cock

TOP SELLERS – MULTI CHAPTER STORIES (combined totals)

1 – 347,882 - Rod’s Sisters stories (Ch. 1&2)
2 – 346,117 - Sam stories (Ch. 1&2)
3 – 318,048 – Nude Dancing (Ch. 1&2)
4 – 260,878 - Joe’s Niece stories (Ch. 1-4)
5 – 205,259 - Scouries Family (Parts 1&2)
6 – 137,638 – Charlies Naked Proposal (Ch. 1&2)

TOTAL VOTES RECEIVED AS OF September 30th 2008 (net, after losses of some 7,800 votes in various sweeps) – 58,304

TOP VOTE GETTING STORIES

1 – 13,541 Daddy, I Whispered (Literotica’s all time #1 vote getter)*
2 – 6989 Ohh Mommy, I Cried (Literotica’s all time #1 vote getter )*
3 – 2521 Two Pregnant Moms
4 – 2271 Valentine Siblings (2007 contest story)
5 – 1752 Nude Dancing (chapter 1&2)
6 – 1736 Swimming With the Dolphins
7 – 1552 Scouries Family (part 1&2)
8 – 1300 Sam stories (chapter 1&2)
9 – 1245 Allison’s Ankle
10 – 1206 Gabriella
11 – 1140 Joe stories (chapters 1-4)
12 – 1140 Candy Cane Cocked Cousin
13 – 1064 Rod’s Sisters (chapter 1&2)
14 – 1062 Leprechaun (chapter 1&2)
15 – 923 Gayle’s Dad
16 – 886 Who’s Your Daddy
17 – 821 Nun story

*both stories also members of the exclusive 100+ COMMENTS list.

HIGHEST READ ‘MATURE CATEGORY’ STORY

Gym ‘Member’ Ship – 74,441 views and 619 votes

HIGHEST READ ‘LOVING WIVES’ CATEGORY STORY

Oh Sarah – 94,649 views

O’Scouries – 646 votes

HIGHEST READ ‘NON-CONSENT’ CATEGORY STORY

Blanche Captured – 65,866 views and 234 votes – retired from the site June 2008

HIS ONLY ‘ROMANCE’ CATEGORY STORY

Miss Kiss – 19,172 views and 177 votes


On behalf of Jim and all of us at [size=+2] ScouriesWorld [/size] I would like to thank you for your kind and continuing support.

Gabrielle L.
freedom fighter… and
literotican…actress…threadmaster’s assistant…lover…and
ALT killer…and
Handler of the “Mentally Challenged”… and
v.p. ScouriesWorld seminars…and
president, Scouries Fan Club…and
assistant accountant reporting to mr. tex…and
V.P. lesbian deprogramming services…and
deputy art director reporting to miss (I’m in charge of bananas)…and
official committee member, Literotica royalty distribution committee…and
freddies muse…and
friend of GBers…and
director of scouriesworld translation services…and
vice-president marketing –Orgasming Centres Inc….and finally
secretary, 1000+ VOTE CLUB and 100+COMMENT CLUB
collins avenue
miami beach, florida
 
Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size],

mr scouries, jim, promised in his third post (way back when) on this thread to update his numbers quarterly. Using the same format he used then, here they are 14 months later:
*figures are as of September 30th, 2008



James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, who is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Please also note, any claimed emails or PMs sent to Laurel and/or Manu go left unanswered and James R. Scouries (a.k.a. Grand_High_Poohbah) earns no money writing for this site. In fact, check your Monopoly game, you may be missing some money there. In addition, any lists posted by Scouries or his alt(s) are not official Literotica lists.

Oh and he's a delusional fuck-wit, too.
 
Watermelon-eating dog prompts stabbing

BOSTON, Oct. 2 (UPI) -- A dog eating a watermelon helped cause a Boston man to repeatedly stab himself to prove to his brother he wasn't afraid of pain, police say.

A police report said the two unidentified brothers got into an argument this week after a dog belonging to one of the men consumed a watermelon owned by his brother, the Boston Herald said Thursday.

Tuesday's argument over the missing watermelon escalated into a shouting match between the siblings that allegedly caused one brother to repeatedly stab himself in order to show he didn't care if he got hurt, police say.

Police officer Jamie Kennealy said when police arrived at the scene to help take the injured brother to the hospital, the other brother allegedly tried to barricade himself in a room.

Kennealy told the Herald the brother used a saw and hammer to place numerous pieces of wood across the door to keep police out of the room.

"During his barricading construction project he stated that he wasn't going to get arrested for stabbing his brother," he told the Herald, adding that police were content to leave him alone after learning the other man's wounds were self-inflicted.


I only have one quick questions:

- Where did Polo end up?

(and who knew Polo actually liked watermelon???)
 
Last edited:
And why wasn’t I prominently featured? A more scourian slant could have elevated this into the big time…

So for now I’d watch a little less TV and concentrate on the painting!
LMAO :kiss:

I'll try to remember that for next time.

About watching TV.. I don't watch much TV. I have a few favorite shows-- the Law & Order shows, Ghost Hunters, House, Dr. G: Medical Examiner, and Monk.

QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) I charge $350 for a 3'x2' oil… btw, how good is scouries' electrical wiring?


Look, what I’m looking for, as I explained to your Boston agent Frederico :D is something like Henri Rousseau’s “The Dream”. Now that paintings is about 7’x10’ and the good old ‘Douanier’ was able to produce and sell this painting (now hanging in New York at the MOMA) for about 35 francs (including tax)!

Which works out to about a half franc per square foot for a masterpiece and you want $350 for 6 sq. ft.? 60 American buckeroos per foot! Heck, at that price you could call your painting ‘The American Dream’.

How about you do the painting gratis and I’ll send you the complete ScouriesWorld Emerald Membership Pack (an eleven hundred dollar value) free.

Let me break it down for you:

CD I burn to paint to- $1
tubes of artist-grade oil paint - $60
paint thinner, brushes, rags- $15
studio-grade 3'x 2' canvas- $30

my time and talent- priceless

And remember, to have a Friskystein :) owned by yours truly would elevate everything you produce for the rest of your life…
You'll have to discuss that and any price disputes with my agent. Beware of his little dog.

And oh, I suspect my “wiring” will be quite adequate to light up your bedroom my dear…


james r scouries

Awww... dear, sweet, delusional scouries... unlike you, I prefer real lovers, preferably African.

-Sheila
 

Any and all lists made up by scouries, scouriesworld, or his Alt Gabby the Blow up Doll have nothing to do with Lit or it's owners. They are made up by him to boost his own ego and have nothing official to do with Lit or it's owners.
 
QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) CD I burn to paint to- $1
tubes of artist-grade oil paint - $60
paint thinner, brushes, rags- $15
studio-grade 3'x 2' canvas- $30
I prefer real lovers, preferably African …


One hundred and six bucks? That’s it? That’s a very small investment to make to put one of your artworks in a location where it will be seen by the movers and shakers of the art world.

And I’ll give you some free marketing advice cause I’m a nice guy: UP YOUR PRICES!

Who wants to have a $350 picture on their wall? Not me! That’s a Walmart price! Charge five grand minimum! Then the guy who’s got it on his wall is proud of it. Will boast about it a bit. “Hey man, I gotta Lady Friskystein!:) I bought it before she became famous. Only cost me five big ones…”

You artsy types are all the same re sex! EASY! It’s always been so. I once modeled for an art class (13 babes and a gay guy) in NYC and within a month had slept with 9 of them! No, not the guy although he did try to make improper advances.

“Oh Jim,” the little honey’s begged, “can you cum to my apartment and pose for me?” And of course they claimed they had no money to pay me at the end of the session. “I’m a poor student,” they’d moan as they let the paint splattered smock innocently slip off their shoulders. WILD BABES!

So the whole African guy thing doesn’t surprise me. But remember my dear: 92.7% of African men between the ages of 12 and 59 have AIDS. I’d suggest just trying to find a big cocked American guy instead.

BTW I wrote a great female artist story you might like. :devil: and her sister :ploved it. “Candy Cane Cocked Cousin”. Here’s a link to it (it’s too bad, if I’d known you then I could have named the heroine after you). Maybe you could read it and give me a female artists take on it:

[size=+3]
Candy Cane Cocked Cousin
[/size]


QUOTE danikat :devil: Jimbo, once more, I've never been to Florida but I like my big scourian penises to feel…

Say what???? Gawd baby, when you start to talk dirty I get...

You know danikat :devil: there’s something about you repressed northern folks. You cum down here with your pale skin, spend the week screaming out your orgasmic ecstasy under our tanned, large southern penises, and then go home to the cold and tell your boyfriends you were good girls.

I remember another girl, she came down here about seven years ago from Wisconsin. Farmer’s daughter. Descendent of Icelanders. Blond, light skinned with big jugs that she could hardly contain in the skimpy bikini she’d bought. She loved the big guy and left Miami with tears in her eyes.

Of course I never heard from her after she left. But about 18 months later I was up in Madison giving a speech and I decided to look her up. She answers the door and she’s got a baby girl in her arms! A little scouries :heart:! Beautiful of course.

Denied she’d ever met me. She was married by then of course which might have been the reason. I finally agreed to leave without causing a scene only after she promised to come by my hotel the next day. I bet I took a quart of milk out of that beauty! She was made for it…

She sends me pictures of my daughter now every Xmas and on her birthday…which is nice.

So, if by any chance you bore a scouries scion I’d love a picture. And hey, if you ever want to get milked give me a call,

No misshick :confused: that offer doesn’t include you! And stop sending me dirty PM’s and pictures…they’re disgusting!

jrs esq.
 

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.
 
QUOTE Lady Friskystein :) CD I burn to paint to- $1
tubes of artist-grade oil paint - $60
paint thinner, brushes, rags- $15
studio-grade 3'x 2' canvas- $30
I prefer real lovers, preferably African …


One hundred and six bucks? That’s it? That’s a very small investment to make to put one of your artworks in a location where it will be seen by the movers and shakers of the art world.

And I’ll give you some free marketing advice cause I’m a nice guy: UP YOUR PRICES!

Who wants to have a $350 picture on their wall? Not me! That’s a Walmart price! Charge five grand minimum! Then the guy who’s got it on his wall is proud of it. Will boast about it a bit. “Hey man, I gotta Lady Friskystein!:) I bought it before she became famous. Only cost me five big ones…”

Artists don't start out selling their work for $5K. The venue in which my art is currently shown could not support such a price. I have to be able to sell my artwork. I just sold another painting yesterday. And though it didn't add thousands of dollars to my bank account, that's money that might help me keep my car.

Keep in mind, I taught myself how to paint three years ago. Yeah, I've had art classes in school, but I had never learned to paint in an educational setting. I am talking to an art school about possible enrollment next year. It really depends on how much financial aid I can get. Yes, I am the epitome of the starving artist. Not that formal training is a necessity. One of my favorite expressionist artists never went to art school (Jonas Gerard). And yes, his work sells for thousands of dollars.

But, I agree with you. When I venture outside my area and start showing in larger cities such as Philly, I would be foolish not to up my prices. If I failed to increase the prices of my paintings, I'd be dismissed. No gallery in a large city is going to bother showing an artist whose premium prices are that low. But for now, I am gaining local exposure.

BTW I wrote a great female artist story you might like. :devil: and her sister :ploved it. “Candy Cane Cocked Cousin”. Here’s a link to it (it’s too bad, if I’d known you then I could have named the heroine after you). Maybe you could read it and give me a female artists take on it:
:cool:
[size=+3]
Candy Cane Cocked Cousin
[/size]

I certainly will read your story and give you feedback when I get a chance. Right now, I have a paper to finish.

-Sheila
 
Jimbo, you're an ass and a liar. You know what else, fudging facts and telling stories will do nothing but get you in over your head and cause you a world of hurt one day. I do feel sorry for you. You have no real friends and you never will as long as you keep up with that huge ego. I'd ask for an apology but I'm not stupid enough to think you'd actually give me one.
 

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

That's a good thing. He serves and protects the Literotica reading public, as opposed to a select group of Author's Hangout philistines.
 
That's a good thing. He serves and protects the Literotica reading public, as opposed to a select group of Author's Hangout philistines.

Her opinions are her own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.
 
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