The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[scouries]

monthly sales figures...

D E L E T E D​

 

[Liar]

M'kay then.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Someone remind me why we all needed to know this again?

 

[Guest]

I just got my first real royalty check yesterday. I was thinking of photographing it and posting it here to show his deludedness what a real one looked like...


Nah!

 

[scouries]

you're going to show me your big guys?? Promise?

[size=+2]

CONTESTS​

[/size]

 

[cloudy]

Damn, those grapes are really, really sour!

 

[Guest]

amazingly enough, I don't remember talking about big guys at all. I think I was talking about money, real honest to goodness hard earned money that I received for my honest to goodness hard work at writing.

I guess he had to change the wording to make himself feel better. That's okay, I don't mind if he pokes fun at me to make himself feel better.

 

[Stella_Omega]

amazingly enough, I don't remember talking about big guys at all. I think I was talking about money, real honest to goodness hard earned money that I received for my honest to goodness hard work at writing.

I guess he had to change the wording to make himself feel better. That's okay, I don't mind if he pokes fun at me to make himself feel better.

Thta's why we love you-- you are so sweet and understanding

 

[scouries]

fan letters...

Thanks Cathy...its readers like you and your club members who make it all worthwhile...jim

 

[scheherazade_79]

Uh-uh, Mother-m-mother, uh, what is the phrase? She isn't quite herself today.​

 

[Guest]

Thta's why we love you-- you are so sweet and understanding

Thanks, I do try...someone needs to stop the madness...

 

[MarshAlien]

Thta's why we love you-- you are so sweet and understanding

Those were almost exactly the same words I was going to use to describe you - sweet and understanding. Almost.

 

[Guest]

Those were almost exactly the same words I was going to use to describe you - sweet and understanding. Almost.

Um... I've always been sweet and understanding when it comes to your foibles, Mr. Alien sir.

 

[scouries]

universities...

D E L E T E D​

 

[scouries]

new title for yours truly....

THEIR MAJESTIES QUEEN LAUREL III and MANU the MAGNIFICENTS

​

 

[Liar]

Ya, I'll be sure to look into all of that whenever a MONDY occurs.

 

[TxRad]

*Yawn*

Poor poor Scurvys

Here have something to cheer you up.

 

[Guest]

Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size] again,

Hey, I forgot to mention the new posting guidelines – I just want everyone to understand that they are going to be enforced on this thread.

Here they are again for anyone who missed them. Those two poo-bah girls are quite a laugh aren’t they? They certainly surprised the boss with this one. But I’m not complaining - check out my new title:

Gabrielle l.
literotican…actress…threadmaster’s assistant…lover…and
assistant accountant reporting to mr. tex…and
deputy art director reporting to miss kat (I’m in charge of bananas)…and
official committee member
literotica royalty distribution committee
miami beach, florida



the three authors known as grand_high_poobah announce their proposed:

[size=+2]NEW LITEROTICA BULLETIN BOARD POSTING REGULATIONS[/size]​

Please be advised that [size=+2]EFFECTIVE TODAY, MONDY NOVEMBER 5TH 2007[/size] the following new rules will hopefully be in effect on all LITEROTICA BULLETIN BOARDS.​

1 Literoticans will now have to pay to make posts. Starting November 5th 2007, everyone will be granted 30 free posts a month. The next 100 posts each month will cost a lump sum of $10 American or 10 Euros depending on where you live (Canadians, who seem to post ad nauseum, will pay double). Every subsequent monthly post will cost $1 American or 1 Euro each. Payment will be required in advance. Please contact mr tex, LITEROTICA HEAD ACCOUNTANT, re payment terms and conditions.

Please note: These charges do not apply to good looking girls who post naked pictures of themselves on the Amateur Picture Forum. To make up for this lost revenue, the charges are doubled for men who post naked pictures of themselves.

2 Literoticans are only allowed to post on one forum unless they apply, and are accepted, for a MULTI FORUM POSTING LICENCE. Each extra forum you wish to post on will cost $25 or 25 Euros per annum. The exception is regular ‘General Board’ posters who will never be allowed to buy a licence or to post in the Authors Hangout unless they pass the AH IQ test. If you’re a General Boarder and wish to post in AH Land please contact the FROG, who believes he’s Literotica’s smartest person. He’ll be aided by his two groupies.

3 No dancing bananas, or other stupid animations will be allowed in the body of your post. Each violation of this rule will incur an immediate fine of $25 or 25 Euros. Repeated violations will lead to suspension of posting privileges. miss daniellekitten, our new Art Director, will be in charge of enforcing this regulation. If you have any questions about what is acceptable please contact this lovely, angelic woman.

4 Every post must contain a minimum of 25 words. One, two and three letter words are not to be counted when trying to accumulate the required 25 under this condition. However, up to three (3) ellipses will be allowed for counting purposes in every post. miss jenniejackson (an English Phd, mind you) is LITEROTICA’S newly appointed word counter and will have the final say-so on whether a post meets the overall requirement.

5 Your signature must take up less space than the body of the post. The signature must also be clearly separate from the body of the post. mr graham666 has agreed to be in charge of signature control enforcement. Please contact him if you have any questions.

6 Literotica will forthwith put a box at the bottom of every post which will show all the alts the poster has used in the last 6 months. If you have any questions about what constitutes an ‘alt’ please contact our expert. Our new Alternatine Vice President, mr. oily.

7 Posters will no longer be able to edit their posts. Once submitted you’re stuck with what you wrote. The EDIT button will disappear as of November 5th.

8 A garbage can for unwanted posts will be created on every LITEROTICA bulletin board. THREADMASTERS will then be allowed to send any post they don’t want on their thread to this ‘garbage can’. Please direct any questions you have about these garbage dumps to our newly appointed Vice President of Trash Removal mr. darkboy.

9 Literoticans will no longer be able to change their Avatars without receiving written permission from miss selenakittyn, Literotica’s Photography Editor. And if you wish to change your little picture it will cost you. A second Av within any 12 month period will cost $25. Each subsequent one up to five will cost $100 each. After the first six we’re really going to stick it to you.

10 Every post must include a minimum of two (2) different colors of FONT (preferably three (3) or more), as well as two (2) different FONT sizes. mr. pilot, our Forensic Writing Analyst, will monitor FONT presentation and will be delighted to give advice to any poster.

It is hoped that these new regulations will bring about great improvements to

THEIR MAJESTIES QUEEN LAUREL III and MANU the MAGNIFICENTS

​

world. The income earned will be used to reward the ‘royals’ for the endless hours they’ve spent making LITEROTICA such a wonderful place.

Forty per cent of the new money will also be used to up the ROYALTY payments for our most deserving authors. A committee, led by james r. scouries, one of LITEROTICA’S most beloved and talented writers, will decide which authors merit these monies.

We’re also going to have one hell of an office Xmas party this year!

In overall charge of enforcing these new regulation is the girl of 30,000 posts, none other than miss cloudy, our new Director of Complaints, who just happens to be one of LITEROTICA’S most respected defenders of free speech. Anyone who has any complaints about these new regulations should address all enquiries her way.

THANK YOU AND KEEP PO$TING!!!!

[size=+2]

Official Grand-High Poobah of Literotica.

[/size]

****

Buy,

[size=+2]Gabby[/size]

BWA-ha-ha-ha-ha

ETA'd: Oops. I forgot

hee hee

 

[cloudy]

Hey, I forgot to mention the new posting guidelines – I just want everyone to understand that they are going to be enforced on this thread.

Um, yeah. Good luck with that.

 

[tickledkitty]

So, Cloudy, I'm to direct my complaints to you? Is that right?

Here's my complaint: This was all supposed to be in effect today. So? How come my edit option is still working? Hmm? It is still working, isn't it?


ETA: IT IS!!! It is!!!

ETA AGAIN: Hey! Look at this. Not only is it working, you can do multiple edits on the same post! That's awesome!

 

[cloudy]

So, Cloudy, I'm to direct my complaints to you? Is that right?

Here's my complaint: This was all supposed to be in effect today. So? How come my edit option is still working? Hmm? It is still working, isn't it?

Well, see...the thing is, I don't work for free, and since scouries cash isn't legal tender, I ain't workin'.



ps. scours: monopoly money doesn't count, either.

eta: oh, yeah, I forgot:

 

[tickledkitty]

Well, see...the thing is, I don't work for free, and since scouries scash isn't legal tender, I ain't workin'.

Gotcha.

I think I'll add dancing nanas to every post here. Just because I can.

 

[TxRad]

I have a far more important complaint!

Why aren't my dancing Nana's actually dancing?

 

[tickledkitty]

I have a far more important complaint!

Why aren't my dancing Nana's actually dancing?

They are on this end, Tx.



ETA: Yep, that edit button is still working.

 

[TxRad]

They are on this end, Tx.



ETA: Yep, that edit button is still working.

The string must be broke on my Internet service again.

Oh and where did he install those trash cans for unwanted posts? I have a few of his I'd like to drop in there.