The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[ScribeOfErised]

PROBLEM #1 – ALTS

<<long discourse why your alts are more morally superior than the assumed alts of everyone else.>>

I find this funny, coming from you Scribbled, er Scouries, er Whomever you are tonight.

“the SCOURIES whiners” thread CLUB

THE UNIMPORTANT
ScribeOfErised

LOL

I'm not sure how pointing out that all of my "sales" have actually involved people sending me money and yours have been page reads, with no remuneration involved counts as "whining".

Now then, you posted in your original post that you would be posting your reviews and such for our edification. Being's how you're so busy making your list (and checkin' it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice!) I thought I'd be of assistance and post the most recent review of your Hallowe'en contest entry.

It didn't work for me.
10/23/07 by Anonymous in Australia
Greetings.

First off, I read a lot of the incest/taboo category, so please don't think I'm picking on for your category. It's one of my favorite categories. This one just didn't get my cock hard. I think you tried to cram too much in too small a place, resulting in an overstuffed item. Perhaps you should consider expanding it to be a novella or breaking it into pieces, expanding them a bit, and posting them as separate chapters. Take your time, expand on the eroticism slowly, drawing the reader in. Think about your story arc, and let it draw to a natural peak. You had several peaks in this story, none of them very high, and the end was anti-climatic. You seemed to hit the apex of your story in the middle, not the close, but it's hard to tell since you go up and down and up and down again.

This leads me to my next critique. Perhaps you should slow down on the writing, and study your craft. If your story is a bridge between two people, you must build your structure to support the weight of your story. Your formatting skills are weak. There are several basic errors in punctuation - improper ellipses, irregular dialog formatting, apostrophes! Please watch your apostrophes! - as well as several run on sentences. Some of your paragraphs break in odd places. Some are too long; some break a logical thought pattern too early. Lit has an excellent editor program, may I gently suggest you take advantage of it? If not, find a reader you trust who'll be brutally honest. We all like to have readers who gush and tell us how wonderful we are, but really, an honest beta reader is more valuable than hundreds of 5's. You will learn much more from one honest beta reader than all the gladhanders on Lit. At the very least, there are spell and grammar checkers built into just about every word processing program out there. Take advantage of them. These tools will make your writing much stronger.

Finally, I hope that you're not too put out by my review. I made the same sort of comments that I make to my students. I have been published in both fiction and non-fiction markets, and I teach. If a student handed this in to me, I would hand it back and request a re-write. You've got a very good start here. If you insisted it was done and returned it in to me, I'd say it's good solid C. It still needs work. (I'm more interested in being honest with an eye to helping you improve than stroking your ego.) If it had gotten my cock hard, I would have given you a 50. However, for me, lack of the "big, red H factor" and the flaws in execution make it a 00 score.

Best of luck to you, and I hope to see more from you in the future.

Sorensen

Halloween Mom (story)

Halloween Mom Public Comments

As an added bonus, I promise NOT to edit this page when it's posted.

 

[Darkniciad]

Doesn't like editing, and yet look at 3/4 of his posts in this thread. What does it say at the bottom?

Doesn't like alts, and yet has an army of them.

Oh yeah...



Must add a few images for his annoyment as well.

Bwahaha! Hadn't seen that review yet. I'm sure he'll be claiming I wrote it any time now.

And...

 

[BlackShanglan]

"Threadmaster."

Isn't that just the cutest thing EVER?

 

[cloudy]

"Threadmaster."

*snicker*

Isn't that just the cutest thing EVER?

Darling.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"Threadmaster."

Isn't that just the cutest thing EVER?

I dunno, there's something very icky about mastering .... threads?

Lost 700 votes! His ISP generating script must be aging...

 

[Darkniciad]

*laugh* I just noticed the total of his multi-vote fiasco going south on him. 700 more bogus votes down the drain.

You need to smack whoever gave you that voting script, scouries. Whoever it is obviously codes as well as you edit, plot, and characterize. Time to stop getting your 1337 h@x0r tools from script kiddies on AOL.

 

[Stella_Omega]

*laugh* I just noticed the total of his multi-vote fiasco going south on him. 700 more bogus votes down the drain.

You need to smack whoever gave you that voting script, scouries. Whoever it is obviously codes as well as you edit, plot, and characterize. Time to stop getting your 1337 h@x0r tools from script kiddies on AOL.

Oh, I don't know-- seems like a pretty decent script-- only 700 out of 10,000,00 votes gone. Not a bad average.

 

[scouries]

more thoughs...

SCOURIES THOUGHTS ON LITEROTICA’S FORUMS and HOW TO IMPROVE THE POSTING EXPERIENCE – the fifth of a series…

PROBLEMS FACING A THREADMASTER

PROBLEM #3 –

 

[Stella_Omega]

This has gotten monotonous.

 

[ScribeOfErised]

Note from the Unimportant Guy:

I couldn't make this shit up; you're too funny! Seriously, I don't do that, I have no reason to. I'm not a regular here, I have no interest in seeing you "hoist on your own petard", aside from the fact that it's funny as hell.

Re the review: I posted it in it's entirety with links so that we could all be edified by your verbosity, brilliance, clever wit and extreme eroticism, but also so that we could all share the joy even after you've removed it. Do try to hurry with that, won't you? I've got $25.00 dollars on two windows this afternoon. (Yes kiddo, we have a betting pool on this one.)

I find it interesting that you never answer any questions in this thread that don't cater to your ego, oh great and godly Threadmaster. (I can't even say that without snerking) Why is that?

 

[Stella_Omega]

You used too many words, Scribe. He won't understand them all.

 

[cloudy]

We simply have to give the THREADMASTER the right to get rid of posts he doesn’t want on his thread.

Um, yeah. Good luck with that.

See, Laurel and Manu are firm believers in free speech. But hey, if you can't hang with the rest of us, and we've hurt your itty bitty feelings, well...don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out.

What a whiney little shit you are. My seven-year-old doesn't whine as much as you do.

 

[tickledkitty]

GROUPIES: a groupie for the purposes of my discussion of LITEROTICA FORUMS is defined as someone who invariably pops up and posts on a thread as soon as she/he sees a post by the person she/he is stalking/in love with.

Aww, you're jealous, aren't you? You like me, huh? You wish I was stalking YOU, don't you?

Heh.

 

[Just-Legal]

BWAHAHAHAHA

Belegon and I are unknown, oh that is *priceless*. Me I can understand, but Bel?!

You need to crawl out from your insular little hole every now and again Scouries. Or maybe not, real life might actually destroy your tiny little mind...

Edited to add:

On the subject of alts, I have a "clean" posting alt so that I can check the forums from my fiancé's PC as it is in the living room of his house, the alt is set without sigs and AVs so I don't give his mother a heart attack.

As soon as we finish up our house and get everything in, that alt is laid to rest. I never made a secret of it being an alt of mine and I never will.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Now, now, lovie-- he's lashing out. You can read the hurt in every line.

Pathetic little bastard.

 

[Just-Legal]

Now, now, lovie-- he's lashing out. You can read the hurt in every line.

Pathetic little bastard.

Hehe, I know, he's like some of the girls I work with, pathetic childish little things in their clique who just want to garner a reaction from people.

Well, my only one is laughter This thread gave me a good giggle!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Hehe, I know, he's like some of the girls I work with, pathetic childish little things in their clique who just want to garner a reaction from people.

Well, my only one is laughter This thread gave me a good giggle!

I think I'm ready to put him on ig and banish this thread from the AH.

(for all intents and purposes, at least.)

 

[Just-Legal]

I think I'm ready to put him on ig and banish this thread from the AH.

Hmm, a mass ig so he only had his alts to talk to?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Hmm, a mass ig so he only had his alts to talk to?

poetic, eh? But-- not in my jurisdiction. Me, I'm bored with him, that's all. I hate feeling sorry for someone who will never change or grow. Where's the plot in that?

 

[slyc_willie]

I think I'm ready to put him on ig and banish this thread from the AH.

(for all intents and purposes, at least.)

Yup, ignore it is. Jimmy just isn't funny anymore.

See ya, little guy!

 

[Darkniciad]

The cash cow. The bestseller on the whole website. Paid massive royalties that let him jaunt around the world *snicker* without care...

And yet, somehow he's still singled out for ruin by the same people he "keeps in business"?

*laugh*

You know, scouries, I think I'm going to slap you on ignore for a while too. You're getting more boring and repetitive by the day. You must be tapping into the same well in the forum that you use to write your "masterpieces" or something.

I'm sure your alts will try to keep you company, but they'll probably just bore you as much as they do us.

Bye bye now!

Oh, must not forget some parting images

 

[ScribeOfErised]

You used too many words, Scribe. He won't understand them all.

Sad but true Stella. I think I'm going to do the Iggy thing for a while too. After a while, it's like shootin' fish in a barrel. Where's the challenge in that? But before I go, have a on me.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Goodness. He's already very nearly the only one who reads, comments, or votes his stories. Now he wants to be the only one on his threads as well?

There really is no pleasing some people.

 

[cloudy]

Goodness. He's already very nearly the only one who reads, comments, or votes his stories. Now he wants to be the only one on his threads as well?

There really is no pleasing some people.

He's the "THREADMASTER."

Are you the "POSTKEEPER"?

 

[Vermilion]

"Threadmaster."

Isn't that just the cutest thing EVER?

<nods>

Like men who drive flash cars and wear expensive watches - you know there's a reason behind it and you have your suspicions as to what those might be...


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