The *Perfect* Match

[artful]

The perfect match in BDSM. Where is it? Who has it? Have you seen it? What does it look like? Can you get it? Is it chasing a fantasy? Paint me a picture with your words, tell me what you think.

The CHALLENGE:

Open up your truth, bare your souls honestly. Do it in a serious manner.

The DISCLAIMER:

These *are* trick questions,...it *is* loaded, so beware of what you post. I will come back later, and paint my own picture, using my own brush, and my own colors.

 

[Grvdigger]

My first thought is nothing is perfect, but things are workable.

 

[dragonhearted]

*smiles*

My first thought is nothing is perfect, but things are workable.

well said!

to elaborate.......I believe everyone has their basic ideals, but with a certain amount of adaptation, everyone can be satisfied, in every way

 

[A Desert Rose]

I am sorry Art. Can you explain a bit more about what it is you are looking for in a response? I am not really sure I understand.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Why a trick question?

Looking for perfection is a waste of energy and time.

Eb <just my opinion>

 

[Siren]

 

[Grvdigger]

Re: Why a trick question?

Looking for perfection is a waste of energy and time.

Eb <just my opinion>

Looking for it is not wrong..expecting it maybe

 

[serijules]

The perfect match in BDSM. Where is it? Who has it? Have you seen it? What does it look like? Can you get it? Is it chasing a fantasy? Paint me a picture with your words, tell me what you think.

The CHALLENGE:

Open up your truth, bare your souls honestly. Do it in a serious manner.

The DISCLAIMER:

These *are* trick questions,...it *is* loaded, so beware of what you post. I will come back later, and paint my own picture, using my own brush, and my own colors.

Hmm, well....a perfect match to me is much like the perfect dream; nice to fantasize about, but in reality, it's only what you make it. People don't come pre-packaged with perfection. Just add Water.

There is always the old "s/he is perfect FOR me" concept...but I kind think that is just another nice, convienient saying, even if it is true to an extent.

I think The Perfect Match is one that lasts throughout...and that's something you won't know until it's over. Someone that sticks with you through everything, good and bad, where you learn to grow with each other and continue to learn from each other. Where you allow for fights and disagreements and differences without using the relationship as an excuse or a problem solver (ie: You don't understand me because you don't agree with me so maybe we don't belong together!).

Things like that.

Water not included.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Why a trick question?

Looking for it is not wrong..expecting it maybe

Did I say it was wrong? No I did not.

I posted my opinion, nothing more, nothing less.

Eb<It is still a waste of time>

 

[Daddyslilpet]

The perfect match in BDSM. Where is it?

It is no where, yet every where.

Who has it?

No one, yet everyone.

Have you seen it?

I have caught the rare glimpses of it, then it flits away again.

What does it look like?

It looks like everything good and perfect. It appears as succulent as the most perfect piece of fruit, yet is nothing but the wind.

Can you get it? Is it chasing a fantasy?

It is available to all who want it, need it, and search for it. However, at the same time the perfection is just a myth. Seeking perfection in an imperfect world is an exercise in all futility.

Perfection is, as with anything else, all in the eye of the beholder. To the Dominant, perfection is in the eyes of their chosen submissive, that fire of desire that tells them nothing else matters to that sub. To the submissive, perfection comes in many forms, knowing that they have pleased their Dominant, receiving praise and kind words from their Dominant, the sense of happiness that comes from knowing that they are under the loving protection and care of their Dominant.

Perfection exists yet it doesn't, it is yet it isn't.

JMHO ~smile~
dixi

 

[artful]

Re: Re: The *Perfect* Match

It is no where, yet every where.

No one, yet everyone.

I have caught the rare glimpses of it, then it flits away again.

It looks like everything good and perfect. It appears as succulent as the most perfect piece of fruit, yet is nothing but the wind.

It is available to all who want it, need it, and search for it. However, at the same time the perfection is just a myth. Seeking perfection in an imperfect world is an exercise in all futility.

Perfection is, as with anything else, all in the eye of the beholder. To the Dominant, perfection is in the eyes of their chosen submissive, that fire of desire that tells them nothing else matters to that sub. To the submissive, perfection comes in many forms, knowing that they have pleased their Dominant, receiving praise and kind words from their Dominant, the sense of happiness that comes from knowing that they are under the loving protection and care of their Dominant.

Perfection exists yet it doesn't, it is yet it isn't.

JMHO ~smile~
dixi

Dixi,...you have indeed been hiding your wisdom from us at this Forum, for such a long time. Oh yes,...we have all glimpsed it from time to time, as you revealed but a tidbit here and there.

Now the truth is laid bare for all of us to see. Now we all can see past the humor, the brightness, the knowledge, the love, the caring concern, and the helpful person we have always thought to be, the "totality" of Dixi.

Wisdom is the foundation of who you are Dixi,... thanks for finally unveiling it.

 

[MissTaken]

The Perfect Match

is the match wherein two people are willing and able to work through their differences, communicate openly and understand that no one is perfect or perfect for them all of the time.

 

[artful]

ADR,...

I am sorry Art. Can you explain a bit more about what it is you are looking for in a response? I am not really sure I understand.

If you wish,...just answer the questions I posed. Truly, they are not harmful questions, but one needs to answer them honestly,...if they answer them at all.

 

[Lancecastor]

True Love is The Perfect Match

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not love,
I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not love,
I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,
and though I give my body to be burned and have not love,
it profith me nothing.
Love suffereth long and is kind.
Love envieth not.
Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doeth not behave itself unseemly.
Seeketh not her own.
Is not easily provoked.
Thinketh no evil.
Rejoiceth not in inequity, but rejoiceth in the truth.
Bareth all things.
Believeth all things.
Hopeth all things.
Endureth all things.
Love never fails.
But where there be propheses they shall fail,
whether there be tounges, they shall cease,
whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part,
but when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child I spake as a child,
I understood as a child, I fought as a child,
but when I became a man I put away childish things.
For now we see though a glass dark plain, but then face to face.
Now I know in part, but then shall I know even also as I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, love - these three, but the greatest of these is love.

 

[Ishmael]

The perfect match

I don't think that there is such a thing. Close, very close, but never perfect.

Matches are complimentary things. It requires that there is some conflict. Differences to be paid attention to. Because in some cases the differences are as important, or more so, than the things that are held in common. A good realtionship does require some tension. Afterall, what is forming is a partnership and partnerships require the participation of both parties.

Communication is certainly important, especailly in the intitial stages. This is the area where one party, or the other, is most likely to make a unilateral decision based on misread information. Patience and trust come into play here. As well as simply asking some questions. If you don't ask, you don't know. It's so easy to make decisions based on "feelings" at this stage.

There is also the fact that many enter into realtionships with the idea that they are going to "change" the other person. Well, you can train to an extent, but you aren't going to change anyone. Especially if that person is over the age of 35. The pattern is set. Only a near death experience or extensive counseling is going to make a difference. What you see, is what you are going to get. If they lie when you met them, they are going to lie later. The acceptance has to be of the entire person as you see that person.

Once a 'skin to skin' relationship is formed there are other factors that come into play. Mostly brain chemical reactions that are profoundly strong at first, but wear off eventually. It is part of the atavistic reactions that all humans feel. These chemicals are a by-product of sexual fulfillment. The true test of a real partnership is the ability for both to maintain an attraction in the absence of these strong chemicals (hormones really). Some can, some can't, and some mistake the hormonal presence or absence with true love. It isn't.

Ishmael

 

[artful]

Re: True Love is The Perfect Match

And now abideth faith, hope, love - these three, but the greatest of these is love.

Yes,...I agree Lance,...those three are indeed a perfect match for BDSM.

 

[artful]

Re: The Perfect Match

is the match wherein two people are willing and able to work through their differences, communicate openly and understand that no one is perfect or perfect for them all of the time.

MissT,...your words are so close to what mine are,...well,...I just had to quote them. To continue on,...the perfect match, often is a picture that will form,...or has formed within ourselves.

It's a somewhat blurred picture, and can never be held in focus for any long period of time, because we are always changing. As we change, so does the image of perfection, that we once held within us.

There are indeed those perfect moments, the orgasms, the peace, the quiet, the sunset, the sunrise, the mists clearing to a bright, crisp, sunny day, and many more.

MissT has stated mostly what I believe, (as regards a BDSM), *perfect match*. Two people who can share those perfect moments of Domination and submission. Each knowing the imperfections of the other, (maybe not all of them), some of them at least.

Accepting those imperfections, working together to improve themselves, and to improve the lives of those who they come in contact with.

The perfect match,...is one where,...when struck, it flares into a flame, lighting our way down darkened pathways. Giving out it's warmth when cold would otherwise numb our feelings.

The perfect match will flare into life, every time it is struck. When wet,...it still lights. When out in the public, and not needed in an expression of independent freedom, it can be put away without burning your fingers.

The perfect match is never lost, but always there when you need it. The perfect match is in our minds, and in our hearts,...and it changes as we change. To me,...that is a *perfect match*.

 

[NemoAlia]

Bareth all things.
Believeth all things.
Hopeth all things.
Endureth all things.

It looks like Lance has developed a lisp from the bad case of Thticky Puthy Juithes he caught this weekend.

Really, though, who can say it better?

 

[Desdemona]

Once I thought I had found the perfect match. We seemed to fit and to compliment each other in so many ways and on many different levels. His strengths matched my weaknesses and my strengths matched his weaknesses. We were friends first, lovers later. The magic between us fueled passion beyond my wildest dreams. Unfortunately, our relationship was unable to withstand the storms of life. Perhaps it was all smoke and mirrors, perhaps not.

I no longer look for perfection. I hope for long term compatability on a daily basis with enough magic to get us through the hard times. Like any other relationship, it takes mutual affection, hard work, trust and respect to carry you past the exhiliration of lust. I wish I could have that *perfect relationship* again with someone. I just don't know if it is possible.

 

[dragonhearted]

Re: Re: The *Perfect* Match

It is no where, yet every where.

No one, yet everyone.

I have caught the rare glimpses of it, then it flits away again.

It looks like everything good and perfect. It appears as succulent as the most perfect piece of fruit, yet is nothing but the wind.

It is available to all who want it, need it, and search for it. However, at the same time the perfection is just a myth. Seeking perfection in an imperfect world is an exercise in all futility.

Perfection is, as with anything else, all in the eye of the beholder. To the Dominant, perfection is in the eyes of their chosen submissive, that fire of desire that tells them nothing else matters to that sub. To the submissive, perfection comes in many forms, knowing that they have pleased their Dominant, receiving praise and kind words from their Dominant, the sense of happiness that comes from knowing that they are under the loving protection and care of their Dominant.

Perfection exists yet it doesn't, it is yet it isn't.

JMHO ~smile~
dixi

Spoken like a poet!

 

[artful]

des

I wish I could have that *perfect relationship* again with someone. I just don't know if it is possible.

All things are possible,...fear, doubt, worries, false pride,...many are the things that tend to block our vision. You have had it before, you can have it again, (it just won't be the same).

It does change,...and one danger is,...*WE* don't.

 

[dragonhearted]

Re: True Love is The Perfect Match

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not love,
I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains and have not love,
I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,
and though I give my body to be burned and have not love,
it profith me nothing.
Love suffereth long and is kind.
Love envieth not.
Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doeth not behave itself unseemly.
Seeketh not her own.
Is not easily provoked.
Thinketh no evil.
Rejoiceth not in inequity, but rejoiceth in the truth.
Bareth all things.
Believeth all things.
Hopeth all things.
Endureth all things.
Love never fails.
But where there be propheses they shall fail,
whether there be tounges, they shall cease,
whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part,
but when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child I spake as a child,
I understood as a child, I fought as a child,
but when I became a man I put away childish things.
For now we see though a glass dark plain, but then face to face.
Now I know in part, but then shall I know even also as I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, love - these three, but the greatest of these is love.

I Corinthians 13

 

[Desdemona]

Re: des

All things are possible,...fear, doubt, worries, false pride,...many are the things that tend to block our vision. You have had it before, you can have it again, (it just won't be the same).

It does change,...and one danger is,...*WE* don't.

Art, I'm feeling particularly dense tonight. Who are you saying doesn't change?

 

[artful]

Re: Re: des

Art, I'm feeling particularly dense tonight. Who are you saying doesn't change?

The *WE*,...refers to all of us, our perceptions of what is attainable. Sometimes,...*WE* think our perfect match is THAT what we had. When we start comparing others to that image of what we think was a perfect match,...we often overlook that which, would possibly be the best match for us in the present.

We need to look at our inner truths, digging DEEP, and find out what it is that we want *today*. All too often,...we get hung up on yesterdays image of perfection. Today is the first day of the rest of your life,...what is it that you want? We all want good change, but life doesn't always deal that way.

When you dig deep, you can find the truth,...most people are not honest enough to do this. Why? Cause the damn truth HURTS,...that's why. The majority of people go through their adult life, denying the truth,...fearing that part of themselves, that is so vulnerable when exposed to the light.

I hear so many people say,..."I am not gonna settle for less than,...(yada, yada, yada).", and it sounds good,...but is it the truth? Hell no!
What may be true for one,...is not necessarily the 'inner truth' of another.

March to the beat of your own drum,...even if it be on your knees to your *perfect match*. There are many who think I am a fool for being in a relationship with Dream,...does it bother me? Not in the fucking least.-LOL

 

[Angelofsex]

You said the perfect match. What if you had it,but didn't know it. You let him go. Didn't even know you had it, till it was to late. Someone else was able to submit to him.