the nature of love

[cynter]

this comes from many places, not the least of which are threads in this forum. but mostly from my own life. i'm the single mother of an austisitic child w/ medical concerns of my own and now once again facing more issues w/ my child. i'm tired. yet i know that whatever details and nuisances must be taken care of or dealt with. love does sustain. she has taught me so much about stripping away pretense to get to the reality that lies beneath. what is really important. what is really of value. what really needs to be done. what can wait.
still i truly tire of doing this alone. i wonder will it ever be possible to find someone or someone(s) that if they can't 'get' this, will at least try to understand and just be there for me.
i have these moments when i just want it to be about me. is that so awful? does that make me a bad parent? yes, its one of those awful, weepy days that will pass...i know this. and yes, our love does sustain.
its just sometimes...it gets really lonely.
is that so hard to understand?
/end pity pot
cyn

 

[BlackShanglan]

is that so hard to understand?

Understood.

*nuzzle*

Shanglan

 

[Edward Teach]

this comes from many places, not the least of which are threads in this forum. but mostly from my own life. i'm the single mother of an austisitic child w/ medical concerns of my own and now once again facing more issues w/ my child. i'm tired. yet i know that whatever details and nuisances must be taken care of or dealt with. love does sustain. she has taught me so much about stripping away pretense to get to the reality that lies beneath. what is really important. what is really of value. what really needs to be done. what can wait.
still i truly tire of doing this alone. i wonder will it ever be possible to find someone or someone(s) that if they can't 'get' this, will at least try to understand and just be there for me.
i have these moments when i just want it to be about me. is that so awful? does that make me a bad parent? yes, its one of those awful, weepy days that will pass...i know this. and yes, our love does sustain.
its just sometimes...it gets really lonely.
is that so hard to understand?
/end pity pot
cyn

Taking care of a loved one with medical needs is indeed tiring. It is at times trying. It is, at best, difficult even when you have help but when most or all of the responsibility is on you it can seem overwhelming at times.

You need and deserve a life too. You have nothing to be ashamed of for that.

Having love, companionship, or whatever it is you need, makes you a better person and better able to care for your daughter.

I hope you find someone or someones who understand and care.



Ed