The menstrual question... again (hopefully for the last time)

[MediocreAuthor]

Well I'm back with this question, although this time I have the story available so that everyone can decide for themselves.

Is Ruth's period featured in this story to an excessive degree?

The Price of Embezzlement 3

For the record, the last time I brought this topic up, I was accused of deriding my proof-reader because he thought that guys would have an issue with it. Apparently I misrepresented his views, so he asked me to share the screenshots which showed his opinion.

I didn't intend for that thread to be used for mocking him, and that isn't my intent now. I'm just asking for a general consensus. Is the story gross to the general readership of Lit? (It scored well below the others)

PS: Reading the previous 2 chapter isn't entirely necessary, but it will probably aid in your reading experience

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Not sure how to respond, and I'm sorry I don't have time to read your story right now. My gut does have an opinion of similar things though. I have this standing caveat in my profile for similar(?) things that come up frequently in my stories.

One last thing...
There are a few standard caveats I'd like to get out of the way that apply to most of my stories:

- All parties engaging in any sexual activity are over 18.

- STDs are very real and practicing safe sex should always be encouraged, but my world is a fantasy world where they just don't come into to play, so I won't bother you with details of putting on condoms and thigs like that. Besides a good cum shot is sexy as hell.

- Anal sex can be very messy, but like condoms for STDs, dealing with the details of enemas and things like that, just ruin the flow of a good sex scene. So, unless it moves the story, we're going to pretend that everyone is just magically all clean and pretty back there all the time and get on with the fucking, ok?

Thanks for understanding.

 

[KeithD]

I also am not reading the story, but my response to including the menstural period would be the same either way--does it contribute to eroticism in the story? If yes, include it. If not, and you're just being "real clinical," I wouldn't be interested in seeing it in a work or erotica.

 

[StillStunned]

Is the story gross to the general readership of Lit? (It scored well below the others)

I also haven't had time to read your story, but in general I'd say that readers can rate your story low - or high - for any of a dozen reasons.

For example, my story Ben's Big Mistake: sitting steadily at 4,05. Is that because it's first person present tense, because of the blackmail, or because the blackmail gets reversed when the blackmailee turns out to be transgender? I don't know, and I don't really care. I'd like it to go up, but I wouldn't change the story, or tell a different story.

So my advice: write the story you want to write. If that means including elements that the general readership considers "gross", so be it. As the author, you clearly felt it had a place in your story.

Also, if more stories were less shy about natural functions, perhaps those functions would become more normalised and some of the taboo would be broken.

 

[Euphony]

It's not excessive to the degree of squick (I have zero issue w/it. Actual the slice of life being alluded to in more stories would be a positive) but it's more descriptive than it needs to be for the addressed character. (i.e. It's detailed enough it starts to feel information a reader needs to hold on to/carry forward)

I didn't read the boss character or the situation as supporting/him wanting any more information than is absolute necessity. My paring down to the bare minimum "I was having my period" is 99.999% about whether the character she's addressing can handle/is interested in the information which seems to me as a no.

The kink is the power imbalance/non-con and, while the digression is ULTRA slight in the grand scheme of life (sad society is still at this level w/women's bodies but here we are) is it the same slight digression to the character, a man built to be "holding all the cards?"

From a strictly "cut narratives to the bone" perspective, I don't immediately see it as supportive and, depending on viewpoint, a minor disruptor/question instigator on a point you weren't making.

From a slice of life perspective, it's respectfully addressed to a downright nothingburger (I'd imagine) for most. Anyone who would take issue with has an underlying issue with themselves and not your choice of prose.
*end read to inciting event*

*Edit to full story end* Interesting how the scene atop page 2 ends up being a pivot which I misunderstood completely. The boss being nonplussed had me interpret the period mention as NBD/NOT a concurrent fetish when it ends up a significant pivot.

Author sets the pacing but as a reader I would've felt less dense later if I'd gotten subtext sprinkled earlier. And maybe more context/surround of the pivot point atop page 2 which doesn't have to give the surprise away but makes me carry forward a memory of the event at least in some capacity. (I had to go back and reread it when things got hot and heavy b/c I didn't have it in my mind to draw from)

Through the end, it all works and shouldn't turn off people other than those who would be turned off by basically anything you'd do in that area.

For me I obviously struggled hard mid page 1 to right before things spun up on page 2. Unsure if that's me or how common "me" as a reader really is.

 

[Euphony]

Is the story gross to the general readership of Lit? (It scored well below the others)

I'd caution it's mostly a fool's errand to try to dial in the fractured readership of Lit and even moreso their voting influences/motivations down to a singular bit of prose.

*IF* something is grievous enough for you to even address, they won't shy away from telling you off in the comments. Then you are left with the debate over whether is whatever you included important enough to your theme/narrative/point about human existence/the human condition that it needs to stay in order to find not the general audience but the *specific* audience that is willing to have the discussion.

Sometimes you want red H hugs, other times you need to feel like you've communicated a point about life and want similar others to join in the conversation you've kicked off (to help you work through your own thoughts further/solidify them)

Butts in seats or an intimate book club chat about X subject that's been eating at you enough to devote hours to telling a story that kickstarts others to consider it alongside you.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

I also am not reading the story, but my response to including the menstural period would be the same either way--does it contribute to eroticism in the story? If yes, include it. If not, and you're just being "real clinical," I wouldn't be interested in seeing it in a work or erotica.

It doesn't contribute to the eroticism. It contributes to the plot.

 

[KeithD]

It doesn't contribute to the eroticism. It contributes to the plot.

Does it detract from eroticism, though? For erotica, I give eroticism a veto. When it gets into the heavy clinical, "gotta be totally real," I'm gone.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I haven't had to think about that (for myself) in so long, I don't remember what it was like. I only had two years of the issue. But Jo reminds me when it's her time of the month, so I don't do a spontaneous pussy dive to wake her up.

 

[Euphony]

It doesn't contribute to the eroticism. It contributes to the plot.

Maybe I'm dense but, at that point, I clocked it as less than a plot mile marker I needed to catalog.

Is this the beginning of this story point/lines foreshadowing?

If yes, I'd maybe do some earlier subtext to not have to pivot on a more, erm, overt addressment of a divissing subject matter. (not in the grand scheme but obviously it's a consideration or we wouldn't have a thread)

If no and I wiffed, uh... pay no attention to the man behind the curtain?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I skimmed the story. It's clear from the start that periods are relevant to the plot, and the dubcon and embarrassment factors are also upfront. All of those will put some people off, but equally people who want to read that kind of story will read on.

I suspect very few people will find explicit mention of sanitary pads sexy though - that bit could have been skimmed over, because it's mostly just a plot device to get to why she's in the office without a bra.

 

[EmilyMiller]

The menstrual question... again​

Excerpted from Caputpedes - A Tale Of The Space Whores

Bite me, Em. Bite me hard."

Looking up at me with her big eyes wide open, Emily bared her teeth, parted them and bit down on my left nipple. I gasped at the hot needles piercing my nervous system. Emily began to massage my clit soothingly compensating for pain with pleasure; balancing the two. I realized that I had tears in my eyes, but knew I still wanted more.

"Harder, I want it harder, please."

There was perhaps a flicker of concern on her face, but Emily tensed her jaw muscles further. I felt myself buckling, bending forward, as I embraced the increased burning. Abused nerve endings nevertheless still thrilled, still conveyed messages of heat and intensity to my clit, which Emily now rubbed harder, magnifying the sensations I was feeling.

"More, Emily. Make me bleed."

Emily released me and stood up. Her open, freckled face staring up at me; worry etched into her expression. I could see the white imprint of her teeth, like Morse Code on my reddened nipple.

"No, hun. Not blood. Not with me. And I don't think you really want that. Talk to me, Na-ri. What is the matter?"

She led me to a couch, and got me to sit down. Pulling her leggings and bra off and peeling off her panties, she sat next to me, skin against skin.

"It's OK, hun. It's OK. I'm here."

I buried my head in her shoulder and sobbed. Maybe the show had been too much for me. Maybe I was missing Duxie. I wasn't clear what was going on. Emily stroked my hair and kissed my head.

"I don't know what the matter is, Em. I just feel so down and so overwhelmed. I've been feeling like this, on and off, for a few days to be honest."

"It's OK, do you want me to try to see what is up with you, you know, telepathically?"

"No, Em. Not that. I'm OK. Just a bit blue perhaps. It's nice you holding me. Would you kiss me again? I'm sorry, I don't really want you to hurt me. Just kiss me."

Emily kissed my cheeks, collecting my tear drops, then brushed her lips across my closed eyes. Finally, cupping my face, she pushed her lips against mine. Cautiously at first, but soon with increasing passion. I touched her lips with my tongue, and then slipped it between them into to the soft, welcoming, familiar wetness of her mouth. As I kissed her, I took Emily's hand and put it between my legs again. Still holding it, I rubbed her fingers up and down my inner labia, then contrived to push one inside me.

Emily moved down onto the floor, and crouched between my legs. With an improved angle, she slipped one, and then two, fingers into my pussy and stared to finger me. I closed my eyes, and let the throbbing caused by her digits spread over me. But, after just a few strokes, Emily suddenly paused.

"Well, angel, maybe I have a hypothesis about the tears."

I looked at her confused. Then she withdrew her fingers and held them up for me to see. They were streaked with blood. Shit! I was early.

"Oh, Emily. I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting... I didn't know..."

"Hush, angel. It's just blood. Nothing awful. I don't mind if you don't mind. But are you sore?"

"Maybe a little, perhaps no fingers. But could you bear to lick my clit a little. Don't if it is too gross. I just might like that. Do you mind?"

Emily, smiled. Then keeping eye contact with me, she licked her fingers clean, and then sucked on both.

"Don't worry, I don't have a menstruation kink, but just to show you that a little blood is no problem. Of course it's fine for me to lick your clit. You aren't bleeding heavily and I think we'll be OK for a bit. So long as you are comfortable."

I nodded to say I was. Of course now I was aware of an ache in my womb, a tenderness in my breasts. Maybe the tenderness had put the biting idea into my head in the first place. But I was mostly just embarrassed. However, such feelings began to evaporate when Emily started to pay renewed attention to my clitoris. I lay back, raised my legs, placing my heels on the couch, and spread my thighs wider. Emily licked and sucked my clit, flicking over it with a firm tongue, electrifying me. Soothing what I now recognized was my aching body, erasing my sadness with slow, firm, upward strokes on her tongue.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Excerpted from Caputpedes - A Tale Of The Space Whores

Bite me, Em. Bite me hard."

Looking up at me with her big eyes wide open, Emily bared her teeth, parted them and bit down on my left nipple. I gasped at the hot needles piercing my nervous system. Emily began to massage my clit soothingly compensating for pain with pleasure; balancing the two. I realized that I had tears in my eyes, but knew I still wanted more.

"Harder, I want it harder, please."

There was perhaps a flicker of concern on her face, but Emily tensed her jaw muscles further. I felt myself buckling, bending forward, as I embraced the increased burning. Abused nerve endings nevertheless still thrilled, still conveyed messages of heat and intensity to my clit, which Emily now rubbed harder, magnifying the sensations I was feeling.

"More, Emily. Make me bleed."

Emily released me and stood up. Her open, freckled face staring up at me; worry etched into her expression. I could see the white imprint of her teeth, like Morse Code on my reddened nipple.

"No, hun. Not blood. Not with me. And I don't think you really want that. Talk to me, Na-ri. What is the matter?"

She led me to a couch, and got me to sit down. Pulling her leggings and bra off and peeling off her panties, she sat next to me, skin against skin.

"It's OK, hun. It's OK. I'm here."

I buried my head in her shoulder and sobbed. Maybe the show had been too much for me. Maybe I was missing Duxie. I wasn't clear what was going on. Emily stroked my hair and kissed my head.

"I don't know what the matter is, Em. I just feel so down and so overwhelmed. I've been feeling like this, on and off, for a few days to be honest."

"It's OK, do you want me to try to see what is up with you, you know, telepathically?"

"No, Em. Not that. I'm OK. Just a bit blue perhaps. It's nice you holding me. Would you kiss me again? I'm sorry, I don't really want you to hurt me. Just kiss me."

Emily kissed my cheeks, collecting my tear drops, then brushed her lips across my closed eyes. Finally, cupping my face, she pushed her lips against mine. Cautiously at first, but soon with increasing passion. I touched her lips with my tongue, and then slipped it between them into to the soft, welcoming, familiar wetness of her mouth. As I kissed her, I took Emily's hand and put it between my legs again. Still holding it, I rubbed her fingers up and down my inner labia, then contrived to push one inside me.

Emily moved down onto the floor, and crouched between my legs. With an improved angle, she slipped one, and then two, fingers into my pussy and stared to finger me. I closed my eyes, and let the throbbing caused by her digits spread over me. But, after just a few strokes, Emily suddenly paused.

"Well, angel, maybe I have a hypothesis about the tears."

I looked at her confused. Then she withdrew her fingers and held them up for me to see. They were streaked with blood. Shit! I was early.

"Oh, Emily. I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting... I didn't know..."

"Hush, angel. It's just blood. Nothing awful. I don't mind if you don't mind. But are you sore?"

"Maybe a little, perhaps no fingers. But could you bear to lick my clit a little. Don't if it is too gross. I just might like that. Do you mind?"

Emily, smiled. Then keeping eye contact with me, she licked her fingers clean, and then sucked on both.

"Don't worry, I don't have a menstruation kink, but just to show you that a little blood is no problem. Of course it's fine for me to lick your clit. You aren't bleeding heavily and I think we'll be OK for a bit. So long as you are comfortable."

I nodded to say I was. Of course now I was aware of an ache in my womb, a tenderness in my breasts. Maybe the tenderness had put the biting idea into my head in the first place. But I was mostly just embarrassed. However, such feelings began to evaporate when Emily started to pay renewed attention to my clitoris. I lay back, raised my legs, placing my heels on the couch, and spread my thighs wider. Emily licked and sucked my clit, flicking over it with a firm tongue, electrifying me. Soothing what I now recognized was my aching body, erasing my sadness with slow, firm, upward strokes on her tongue.

So, you're saying that in a very erotic context, when it works to move characters closer and deepen their relationship, extreme bodily fluids are ok. Am I reading you correctly?

 

[EmilyMiller]

So, you're saying that in a very erotic context, when it works to move characters closer and deepen their relationship, extreme bodily fluids are ok. Am I reading you correctly?

Particularly octopus cum.

Em

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Particularly octopus cum.

Em

Wouldn't know first hand, but based on a friends recommendation, I'm looking for charters to deep space to hopefully find out.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wouldn't know first hand, but based on a friends recommendation, I'm looking for charters to deep space to hopefully find out.

If you get a hollow anal snake with a faucet attachment, it’s a decent substitute.

A friend told me…

Em

 

[Cagivagurl]

Particularly octopus cum.

Em

Do Octopi cum????
I hope so for their sake...
But is it 8 times more powerful???

 

[EmilyMiller]

Do Octopi cum????
I hope so for their sake...
But is it 8 times more powerful???

Shape-shifting, telepathic, alien ones do .

And they can engineer their secretions to please their partners.

Em

 

[StillStunned]

Do Octopi cum????

Pedant alert!

The plural of octopus isn't octopi. It's octopuses, or octopods, or octopodes.

The "-pus" bit is from the Greek "pous", meaning foot or leg (no, I'm not going to dig out the Greek letters).

If the plural were "octopi", that would mean that the root was a Latin "octop-".

 

[Cagivagurl]

Shape-shifting, telepathic, alien ones do .

And they can engineer their secretions to please their partners.

Em

Oooohhh
Sounds delicious....
Now what flavour should I choose???

Matai, or Mojito???....

Oh dear, I sense this won't end well.

 

[Euphony]

Pedant alert!

The plural of octopus isn't octopi. It's octopuses, or octopods, or octopodes.

The "-pus" bit is from the Greek "pous", meaning foot or leg (no, I'm not going to dig out the Greek letters).

If the plural were "octopi", that would mean that the root was a Latin "octop-".

Technically correct but you really tanked curb appeal, didn't ya?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Well I'm back with this question, although this time I have the story available so that everyone can decide for themselves.

Is Ruth's period featured in this story to an excessive degree?

IMHO, having skimmed the chapter, no.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Pedant alert!

The plural of octopus isn't octopi. It's octopuses, or octopods, or octopodes.

The "-pus" bit is from the Greek "pous", meaning foot or leg (no, I'm not going to dig out the Greek letters).

If the plural were "octopi", that would mean that the root was a Latin "octop-".

Thank you for repairing my silliness...
How dare I....
I mean honestly.... Who didn't know that....
Oops... Me...
Apologies to the Octopuses... Never want to offend a puss.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Oooohhh
Sounds delicious....
Now what flavour should I choose???

Matai, or Mojito???....

Oh dear, I sense this won't end well.

Now why didn’t I think of that? Modern Zombies .

Em

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

If you get a hollow anal snake with a faucet attachment, it’s a decent substitute.

A friend told me…

Em

Sounds like fun, but how do I run a gallon of thick, sticky bitter liquid through it?