The marriage bed

[Mensa]

There are three theories concerning the marriage bed.

1. The husband and wife should share the same bed in their own bedroom.

2. The husband and wife should share the same bedroom but have their own bed.

3. The husband and wife should not only have separate beds but separate bedrooms as well.

The third one is the British Upper Class system. The only time they share the same bed is when they have an urge to merge or or require progeny.

I think I agree with theory three. I like my own space and the marriage could be strengthened by not falling into the familiarity breeds contempt mode. It would be like still dating, if you want to dance the mattress mambo, you either go to her room or she comes to your's. Neither one would be in the other's face constantly. All in all, not a bad arrangement.

What do you think?

 

[Bindii]

Oh no, I'd hate it. One of my greatest pleasures in life is sleeping with my guy, snuggling under the covers, a leg thrown over me while I sleep, waking together in the morning.....
Sure its not all roses, he snores sometimes and I toss and turn but I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[Guest]

My husband and I share a bed. But, we do have our own bedrooms, as well. Rooms that we decorate with our own stuff. My room is my sanctuary as is his. There have been times we have slept in our rooms. Sometimes, we just need the space. There doesn't have been anger or argument present. We are individuals, outside of partners. And, when the individual needs cultivation, we find solace in our rooms.

 

[tennessee]

Sharing a bed with the one you love!

When your lover moves to another bedroom the party's over.

 

[MidnightAngel]

Option #3.

It's not that I don't like sleeping with him.....it's a matter of "I'd really like to have my own space".

Raindancer, it sounds like you have the perfect set-up!

 

[Calamity Jane]

My husband and I share a bed. But, we do have our own bedrooms, as well. Rooms that we decorate with our own stuff. My room is my sanctuary as is his. There have been times we have slept in our rooms. Sometimes, we just need the space. There doesn't have been anger or argument present. We are individuals, outside of partners. And, when the individual needs cultivation, we find solace in our rooms.

I really like this arrangement! We have a 5 bedroom house, and I have no space that is mine an no one elses.

Sleeping in the same bed night after night after night is overrated. Nothing has the potential to so thoroughly kill the romance of a relationship like sharing such intimate quarters daily.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I'd rather have separate bathroom suites. I don't like sharing a bathroom with the male gender.

We have a guest room, so there is always the option of sleeping apart, but we never do it. I enjoy the warmth of his body next to mine while we sleep. I like waking up next to him.

Of course, my husband does travel some, so I do occassionally have the bed to myself, which is nice too. I like being able to stretch across the bed and take all the pillows and covers for myself.

 

[Elizabeth]

I like option #3. I like the idea of my own space and my own bed. I end up on the couch or in another bed many nights anyway. There's nothing that says you can't sleep with your partner whenever you wish, just that you don't have to every night. That's a good idea.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I have to say I've never even considered anything but Number 1.

I don't so much need my own bedroom, as I need my own office/rec room. I really need a guy space, you know, with a pool table that converts into wet bar...

 

[Rubyfruit]

PCG, why don't you convert one of those bedrooms into your own space?

I'm seriously thinking of doing that with the guest room. It's where my computer and stereo are. I spend a lot of time in here, but it's getting cramped because of the queen sized bed and when we have guests, it's no longer my space.

 

[Andreina]

My parents have a bedroom together with a MASSIVE bed... but equally both of them have their own study rooms with a couch and a TV in there. So if they really want to be alone they can just go their own rooms, watch TV there, or rest on the sofa.


Halo

 

[plasticman33]

I like option #3. I like the idea of my own space and my own bed. I end up on the couch or in another bed many nights anyway. There's nothing that says you can't sleep with your partner whenever you wish, just that you don't have to every night. That's a good idea.

Awwww, I'd rather just get naked and snuggle!

 

[Elizabeth]

Awwww, I'd rather just get naked and snuggle!

That's a good idea, too.

 

[plasticman33]

That's a good idea, too.

As I said earlier, I can be there in three hours!

 

[Elizabeth]

As I said earlier, I can be there in three hours!

I'll see you around...5 or so.

 

[plasticman33]

I'll see you around...5 or so.

**Reving engine**

**Peeling tires**

Here I come!!!!!!

 

[YabYumFun]

Feng Shui and Marital Beds

According to the ancient art of practical Feng Shui, the marriage bed should be the one big bed shared between two people. The head of the bed should NOT represent the shape of a tombstone in any way (as it symbolises death), and the mattress should be one solid mattress (not this two single mattress thing). The bed should also be SOLID. After all, its the foundation to the family. A big solid bed with fluffy comforters shared between two lovers ... couldn't think of anything better could you? Occasional snoring, frequent one2ones, comforter tug of war, elbows, silky hair, naked flesh, all part and parcel of being together.

Y.

 

[Hamletmaschine]

There are three theories concerning the marriage bed.

1. The husband and wife should share the same bed in their own bedroom.

2. The husband and wife should share the same bedroom but have their own bed.

3. The husband and wife should not only have separate beds but separate bedrooms as well.

The third one is the British Upper Class system. The only time they share the same bed is when they have an urge to merge or or require progeny.

(((snip)))

What do you think?

I think you forgot one, Mensa:

4. Separate beds in separate bedrooms in separate houses/apartments in separate parts of the country.

This is rapidly becoming the norm for the PMC in the US, it seems.

I've tried that one, and it didn't work out too well....

~H~

 

[Mensa]

Re: Re: The marriage bed

I think you forgot one, Mensa:

4. Separate beds in separate bedrooms in separate houses/apartments in separate parts of the country.

This is rapidly becoming the norm for the PMC in the US, it seems.

I've tried that one, and it didn't work out too well....

~H~

Yeah, but if I get the urge, I don't want to have to warm up the car.

 

[alltherage]

The ex lives miles from me and if my wish is granted he is sleeping on a bed of nails. Can we make that choice 4.

 

[daughter]

no danger in familiarity

Both my guy and I value our own space. I like the idea of having my own room. However, there is a comfort and intimacy I enjoy in sharing the same bed.

I don't think sharing space automatically leads to complacency and contempt. I think not respecting a need for personal space and privacy erodes companionship.

If we had the living space, I'd enjoy my own bedroom, but I'd likely sleep with my mate 95% of the time. Personally, I sleep better laying up under him. My own room would be my sanctuary most likely during waking hours when I want to write or read. Otherwise, we're pretty comfortable sharing the same space focused on our own activity or enjoying each other's company.

Lastly, relationship whether married or not is a desire to be together. For me, I'm not interested in the novelty or the infactuation of dating. I don't believe marriage is doomed to boredom and routine. There's a lot to celebrate in being married. I wonder why there's so much focus in discussions on what goes wrong with them instead of highlighting how great they are.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Desert Amazon]

 

[Cheyenne]

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.



Are there really this many married people here who sleep in separate beds or want separate beds? I don't think I know a single couple with this arrangement in RL.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Chey, have you ever lived with a man (or woman) intimately?

 

[Cheyenne]

Lived with? Nope, I have my whole house to myself, and sometimes I think THAT'S too small! LOL

I'm just seeing answers here that I don't see in RL in any of the married friends or family members. The only people I know who consistently slept apart after being married are the ones in the middle of the bitter divorce right now.