The Literotica Asshole Song.

[Phoenyx]

Folks, I’d like to sing a song about the Literotica Dream
About me, about you
About the way our Literotican hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we don’t know

I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job
I’m your average white, suburbanite slob
I like hockey and porno and books about wrestling
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My Pc and my job, my Dreams and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just ain’t enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone else’s expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying “how about this heat”

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s Literotica’s biggest asshole)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn’t be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they’re right when they tell me I’m wrong
Nah

I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s Literotica’s biggest asshole)

You know what I’m gonna do
I’m gonna get myself an Intel Pentium 4 Power PC
Hot pink, with whale skin casing
And all leather cow Monitor
And mabey brown baby seal lion keyboard (yeah)
And I’m gonna download with that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' Porno, Sucking down bandwith faster than Oprah on a baked Ham In her old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam underwear

And when I’m done sucking down the bandwith
I’m gonna harass older women
And I’m gonna make sweet love right in all their holes

And there ain’t a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because I’ve got the bomb, that’s why

2 words, nuclear fuckin’ weapons, OK?
Todd, Spinaroonie, Problem Child, they can have all the Fantasies they want
They can have a big fantasy walk
Right through the middle of Laurel House
and it won’t make a lick of difference
Because I’ve got the bombs, OK?

YoungGun69's not dead, he’s frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer we’re gonna thaw out the Bastard and he’s gonna be pretty pissed off

You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times that’s how pissed off the he’s gonna be!

I'm gonna get mistaken, and lilminx , and Laurel, and basia, and a case of codoms, and fly to Hawaii.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an asshole!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
I’m an asshole (he’s an asshole)
I’m an asshole (he’s Literotica’s biggest asshole)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E

I’m an asshole and I’m proud of it

 

[PumpkinSmasher]

i like it.

 

[islandman]

Wasn't there a song awhile back about this........something along the lines of "cause i'm an asshole...........oh oh, oh oh oh..........he's an asshole................."

 

[alexandraaah]

Dennis Leary.

 

[Phoenyx]

74% Dennis Leart
26% Phoenyx

 

[islandman]

Dennis Leary.

okay, we haven't been officially introduced but i already think you rock!

 

[alexandraaah]

okay, we haven't been officially introduced but i already think you rock!

This is something I always really like in a man.

 

[Problem Child]

I have arrived.