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The Lie

I don't think you're the only one who has had this perception about men and women. Of course not all men and women are the same, but I can tell you for sure that there are women who do love sex and think about it all the time.

On the same note, why is it that I have always thought that men were intimidated or turned off by women who do like sex and who are confident in their sexuality?

SJ
 
Just a shot in the dark, but both sexes were once taught from an early age that sex is about men's pleasure and women endure #1 because it was their duty & #2 they must want children. That would tend to imply that most, male & female, gave very little thought to women's pleasure and thus women didn't receive much? Even with the attitudes changing dramatically, stereotypes linger?

I haven't had any coffee yet today, though, so my brain is a wee bit sluggish & may not make sense. ;)
 
Infiltrate a gathering of women....ex. Tupperware party, baby shower.etc. You will find it's like a reunion of sailors on shoreleave.

I think society has excepted the norm that women supressed such ideas, that we are still Barbara Bilingsly standing at the oven with a plate of cookies and a healthy meal.

Very few members of the population have realized there was/is a sexual revolution and women are more open about sexuality.

Then again...."Girls gone wild" should have been an indicator for you. I am proud to see this gaggle of dimwits represent the feminine mystique.
 
hmmnmm said:
Hanging out here has been one of the most rewarding experiences ever.
I've learned a lot and as far as what I've learned about writing, maybe someday I'll actually apply it - not today.
But I've learned something else that I wished I'd known a long time ago.
What I don't know and would like to know: how did it get to be that men were supposed to be the ones horny all the time and women had to be convinced or made horny or just put up with horny men? Why was I not enlightened until this late in life that women and women's minds are filled with just as much sex as men? Or am I the only one just catching on?
Does this make sense?
There's a better way to word this but I'll post it as is anyway and maybe get the better wording later.
Click to expand...

You are right hmmnmm. I am still reeling from the shock of the discovery. ;)

DrF
 
sophia jane said:
On the same note, why is it that I have always thought that men were intimidated or turned off by women who do like sex and who are confident in their sexuality?
Click to expand...

I think that your question may be the answer to Hmmnmm's; some men are afraid of sexually confident woman, and this leads to intriguing errors about women in general. At least, I've seen some interesting speculation on the theory that the masculine perception of women as sexually passive and dully receptive has to do with fear of the other possibility: that they are fully as sexually active and interested as men are, and that their anatomy generally means that they can take a great deal more than most men can give. Fear of inadequacy = bizarre compensating theory. Or so claim some.

Shanglan
 
BlackShanglan said:
I think that your question may be the answer to Hmmnmm's; some men are afraid of sexually confident woman, and this leads to intriguing errors about women in general. At least, I've seen some interesting speculation on the theory that the masculine perception of women as sexually passive and dully receptive has to do with fear of the other possibility: that they are fully as sexually active and interested as men are, and that their anatomy generally means that they can take a great deal more than most men can give. Fear of inadequacy = bizarre compensating theory. Or so claim some.

Shanglan
Click to expand...
Waiting to watch the backlash http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/essen/popcorn.gif
 
BlackShanglan said:
I think that your question may be the answer to Hmmnmm's; some men are afraid of sexually confident woman, and this leads to intriguing errors about women in general. At least, I've seen some interesting speculation on the theory that the masculine perception of women as sexually passive and dully receptive has to do with fear of the other possibility: that they are fully as sexually active and interested as men are, and that their anatomy generally means that they can take a great deal more than most men can give. Fear of inadequacy = bizarre compensating theory. Or so claim some.

Shanglan
Click to expand...
You had me up until the anatomy part. :confused:
 
hmmnmm said:
Hanging out here has been one of the most rewarding experiences ever.
I've learned a lot and as far as what I've learned about writing, maybe someday I'll actually apply it - not today.
But I've learned something else that I wished I'd known a long time ago.
What I don't know and would like to know: how did it get to be that men were supposed to be the ones horny all the time and women had to be convinced or made horny or just put up with horny men? Why was I not enlightened until this late in life that women and women's minds are filled with just as much sex as men? Or am I the only one just catching on?
Does this make sense?
There's a better way to word this but I'll post it as is anyway and maybe get the better wording later.
Click to expand...

This subject pisses me off, too. You need to read my Essay, "Women Are Nasty, Too." It's in my sig line. Shameless story plug, I know. But, it fully expresses my opinion on this issue.
 
hmmnmm said:
You think this was how and why they invented monogamy?
Or we by nature not really wired for monogamy?
I tend to think that when one of the primitive men blew his load into his primitive woman and he was wiped out for the rest of the day (this being long before pornography was invented) but then his woman went right out to get more and he didn't care for that. So he went on a mammoth hunt, brought it back, and said, "get cooking." Thus was born monogamy. Think so?
Click to expand...
Actually women were programmed to take on more than one male, the sperm sort of did a "best man wins'' kind of thing.
Women probably went along with monogamy because one man is enough to put up with and whoever brought home the biggest carcass and decorated the cave with the nicest paintings won out.
 
BlackShanglan said:
I think that your question may be the answer to Hmmnmm's; some men are afraid of sexually confident woman, and this leads to intriguing errors about women in general. At least, I've seen some interesting speculation on the theory that the masculine perception of women as sexually passive and dully receptive has to do with fear of the other possibility: that they are fully as sexually active and interested as men are, and that their anatomy generally means that they can take a great deal more than most men can give. Fear of inadequacy = bizarre compensating theory. Or so claim some.
Click to expand...
I will, if I may be so bold, (And gosh darnit, I may!) offer a slightly different theory on the same theme: Fear of losing control. If men think of women as sexually passive it means that sex is the man's initiative, and evey$r time he gets sex, he have won, conquested the resistance, and proved his persuasive cojones.
 
Samandiriel said:
Actually women were programmed to take on more than one male, the sperm sort of did a "best man wins'' kind of thing.
Click to expand...
And men were programmed to throw their stuff in as many directions as possible and hope it stuck somewhere. A behaviour that still resides in our genes.

And that is confusing the hell outta us, since the evolution of society jumped into fifth gear and sped past the natural selection, so our big brain is telling us not to have scores of kids, and the little brain yells "Procreate, damn you!".
 
Liar said:
And men were programmed to throw their stuff in as many directions as possible and hope it stuck somewhere. A behaviour that still resides in our genes.

And that is confusing the hell outta us, since the evolution of society jumped into fifth gear and sped past the natural selection, so our big brain is telling us not to have scores of kids, and the little brain yells "Procreate, damn you!".
Click to expand...
Precisely. :rose:
 
hmmnmm said:
Hanging out here has been one of the most rewarding experiences ever.
I've learned a lot and as far as what I've learned about writing, maybe someday I'll actually apply it - not today.
But I've learned something else that I wished I'd known a long time ago.
What I don't know and would like to know: how did it get to be that men were supposed to be the ones horny all the time and women had to be convinced or made horny or just put up with horny men? Why was I not enlightened until this late in life that women and women's minds are filled with just as much sex as men? Or am I the only one just catching on?
Does this make sense?
There's a better way to word this but I'll post it as is anyway and maybe get the better wording later.
Click to expand...

When I was at U, I worked in a retirement home. I had never in my life to that point heard so much! Filthy, dirty and horny old ladies plotting to take down the only few men around - lol - and I did feel sorry for those few - lol. I was shocked at that age, but as I have gotten older, it less and less surprises me. Women, I think, and it has been my experience, are more open with their sexuality. Men are taught to be polite in the company of women.
 
"snicker"

Hmmmmm, I read your post with a great deal of interest and humor. I went through the same thing, only I was 18. (Lucky me! :p ) I was also lucky enough to hook up with a wonderful six foot redhead who thought the day should start and end with sex.

Modern Society has created several myths of which monogamy, womanly passivity, and the nonsexuality of the eldery are at the top of the list. Young men are taught from an early age they are the kings. They are supposed to be in control. A woman who enjoys sex is not one they can control which makes them something to ridicule or worse persecute. Just look at the names for men and women when it comes to the subject of multiple partners. A man who has multiple partners is a real man, or a player. A woman who has the same number is a slut, a whore, or worse. (And what is wrong with a woman being a Slut I ask?)

As far as the laws about monogamy, I fin them to be as much a joke as any other laws determining who can marry who and under what conditions. (Almost as much a joke as our laws dealing with nudity and indecent exposure.) From everything I have read about these laws the only thing they are protecting is the ability of men to control their women.

Now about the Non-sexuality of the elderly. This is a travesty. I have worked in Nursing Homes where married couples were seperated, not because of medical conditions, but because there was to be no "Hanky Panky". (I got fired from one because I refused to stop the couples and in fact covered for them.)

The only thing I can hope is these ideas get changed. Unfortunately I don't see this happening when they are so entrenched in our society.

Cat
 
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