The kink is gone!!! HELP!!!

[serpentofthefog]

Ok so this is my first time posting anything, ever. I know that this is a great site and has to have some great people behind and supporting it so here it goes!

I have a problem that perhaps maybe one of you could help me with. My partner and I have been together for over 2 years now. The sex used to be great, notice I said used to be. Lately we have just been having plain old vanilla sex and I cant stand it!!! He used to love to be tied up and under my control when we had sex, he used to even handcuff himself! He told me that it was the best sex that he had ever had. Lately though, whenever I bring it up it's always, no not tonight, lets just have sex. This is driving me nuts! I know he enjoys it, but is just uninterested. Does anyone have any advise to help me to rekindle his kinky and submissive interests?

 

[Phoenyx]

Try lettign him be in charge. Let him do to you what he wants done to him. If he gets a taste of the other side of the relationship he might discover what he liked about it when you first started

 

[FungiUg]

Communication. Talk to him about it. Be frank, but open and non-confrontational. We can speculate, but he has the answers...

 

[Netzach]

Men tend to submit as a balance to things in their day to day existence.

Does he seem depressed globally? Restless? Was he feeling more successful and calm at the beginning of the relationship? More in charge of himself?

Work stress, money problems, all of this impacts how my sub feels and behaves sexually to a great degree...that's human nature, but with submissives, you have to be careful that submission doesn't reinforce self-doubt at fragile times.

I don't think you have to go whole hog and let him control you or flog you or spank you...that may well not be in your personal repetoire....but definitely talk to him and listen to see what some of his stressors might be.

 

[MissTaken]

Sometimes, a change in sex drive or interest can be indicative of other worldly things involved. I beleive it has been brought up, but perhaps, it is simply the every day things that are preventing him from wanting kinky sex.

Talk with him.
Tell him how much you miss it and how much you want that excitement and intimacy.
Certainly, tell him how important he is to you.

It is a difficult discussion anytime we have to talk about sex especially when it is to say, "You aren't doing it for me." However, the discussion is usually better to have than not.

 

[serpentofthefog]

Thank you all for the help. Luckly your all right, he was just in a phase. We talked it over and he is once again ready and willing to drop to his knees for me.