The Isolated Blurt Thread

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I really, really dislike the chase.

I mean I get it, but why is it a thing? Why am I expected to put out all the effort? What sort of game is like that? One side does everything to "prove" intentions and what not and the other side...complains about it not being enough? Not right? Not in keeping with the standards they have come to expect?

I'm am really starting to understand the appeal of camgirls, or women. Am I allowed to say girls anymore? I don't know!

<flops>

Because they have the power. Ever since they began to conceal their ovulation. Males are expected to prove their abilities to protect and provide. Just because we fly around in jet aircraft and live in huge cities powered by nuclear power plants doesn't mean we have evolved that much. You still have to strut and thump your chest in primitive mating displays.

Better than being forced to wear high heels and giggle on command.
 
Snoop Dog and Martha Stewart...well, there's a pairing I never figured I'd see.
 
The "why" of it being a thing has such a long history, but it's a thing that should go away. I think mutual flirting, mutual interest is chase enough, a little push and pull from both parties.

Yeah, this is very well said, from my perspective. :cool:

The "dance" is fun, as a mutual effort - including a good dose of humour, please!

If I detect that I'm being required to "chase", I lose interest... mutual play is fun. Conformity to some notion of a "game" that is winning oriented? No thank you! :rolleyes:

Asymmetric relationships (outside the "playroom") rarely fulfil their initial promise, in my experience. At least not in my World.
 
I do not recognise the situation where I put no effort in. I have been married for x years and I still put some effort in. It pleases him. Personally I don't expect chest beating; I want to know who the person is. If I wanted to date a 'man' the choice is vast, but we meet individual people not stereotypes.

If I have interest in someone then I tell them I have interest. It seems a silliness to me not to. Flirting is something separate to interest; the friends I think of S really talented flirts flirt with everyone, men, women, It just seems a natural communication form for them.

Yes, flirting can be separate from interest, though I was addressing the situation he was talking about, where one hopes for, perhaps expects, some level of interest. There are different ways of flirting.

I've also never been in a relationship that didn't involve mutual effort from the beginning. And it's at the beginning, I think, where the dynamic of chasing is most problematic, though I've known some who still expect most of the effort for romance/showing interest be made by the other person well into the relationship. They don't initiate, they only respond.

People play stupid games when dating all the time, setting arbitrary time limits for making a call, or responding to a text, or how much interest to show. The nonsense is not gender specific.
 
Yes, flirting can be separate from interest, though I was addressing the situation he was talking about, where one hopes for, perhaps expects, some level of interest. There are different ways of flirting.

I've also never been in a relationship that didn't involve mutual effort from the beginning. And it's at the beginning, I think, where the dynamic of chasing is most problematic, though I've known some who still expect most of the effort for romance/showing interest be made by the other person well into the relationship. They don't initiate, they only respond.

People play stupid games when dating all the time, setting arbitrary time limits for making a call, or responding to a text, or how much interest to show. The nonsense is not gender specific.


Flirting is fun and most effective when both parties are participating.

I have a friend who finalized a divorce about a year and a half ago after a twelve year marriage. This friend thought it best to wait about a year before diving back into any kind of relationship, make sure the head was in a good space and all that.

Started dating about six, seven months ago, and can't believe the 'games' and the nonsense. It is even worse with the plethora of dating and social apps out there, and tendency to talk through texts.

It is impossible to really, truly flirt through texts. There is no way to hear playful or suggestive inflection in text, and emojis can't convey what body language or an expression can. They're better than dick pics, sure, but not by much.
 
I dunno. Messages are pretty important to me. Not living with my love it can be as simple as a good night and good morning...not a flirt, or a 'no I meant , go to bed now' message. Little ways to stay connected through the day/ week. It's not flirting but it's a connection I would be sad not to have. The 'meaningless' messages that mean we are just connecting.

I agree.

I was talking about the tendency with some folks - the younger crowd mostly - who have replaced flirting and actual conversation with texting.

Text messages can be fun, and can even be a part of flirting.
 
I still believe this:

True friendship comes when silence
between two friends is comfortable.

- Dave Tyson Gentry
 
I still believe this:

True friendship comes when silence
between two friends is comfortable.

- Dave Tyson Gentry

Never met my best friend. Fucker won't shut up. Going deaf in one ear is a bit of a blessing at times.
 
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