The Isolated Blurt Thread IV: A New Hope

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I'll run, run, run, as fast as I can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man.
 
they want us in uniform for the funeral. is it selfish that I think this is a bit unreasonable? I feel really uncomfortable wearing uniform outside of work.
 
Why's that?

it isn't me. would you feel comfy wearing somebody else's clothes? in somebody else's style? wearing it at work is right and appropriate, but outside work clothes are an expression and we wear what we feel comfortable wearing. at a funeral especially, I want to feel comfortable.
 
wearing it at work is right and appropriate, but outside work clothes are an expression and we wear what we feel comfortable wearing. at a funeral especially, I want to feel comfortable.

Fair enough.
 
Being in a poly relationship is incredibly hard. The irony is that I have no problem when the bean goes out to play with others or when we do as a couple but my issue is with my secondary partner. We've been together for 7 months now and she has just started to see other people and accrue more BDSM experiences. I knew she wanted this when I met her so it doesn't come as a surprise but I find I can't get over the hurt I feel. I was having such difficulty with it that I ended up breaking it off with her but that only lasted 48 hours as I couldn't stop crying and haven't felt that crappy in a dozen years. Now I sit here while she's on a date with some other guy. It's platonic for now but she is interested in exploring all her options. I don't begrudge her that as she is still in her twenties and has a lot to learn and experience still. I can't seem to get past the fact that I can't be her everything. I know it's not logical as I have limited Dom experience and am bound by time and space and child as is she, but it doesn't make the pain any less severe.

I am drowning in a sea of pain and I can't keep burdening her with it for fear of her getting fed up with me.

I hate the way I feel.
I hate my weakness.
I hate her need to grow without me.

I love her so much it hurts. More than I ever thought possible.
 
Being in a poly relationship is incredibly hard. The irony is that I have no problem when the bean goes out to play with others or when we do as a couple but my issue is with my secondary partner. We've been together for 7 months now and she has just started to see other people and accrue more BDSM experiences. I knew she wanted this when I met her so it doesn't come as a surprise but I find I can't get over the hurt I feel. I was having such difficulty with it that I ended up breaking it off with her but that only lasted 48 hours as I couldn't stop crying and haven't felt that crappy in a dozen years. Now I sit here while she's on a date with some other guy. It's platonic for now but she is interested in exploring all her options. I don't begrudge her that as she is still in her twenties and has a lot to learn and experience still. I can't seem to get past the fact that I can't be her everything. I know it's not logical as I have limited Dom experience and am bound by time and space and child as is she, but it doesn't make the pain any less severe.

I am drowning in a sea of pain and I can't keep burdening her with it for fear of her getting fed up with me.

I hate the way I feel.
I hate my weakness.
I hate her need to grow without me.

I love her so much it hurts. More than I ever thought possible.

:rose:

I don't think you're being illogical. it makes sense to me anyway. you know you & bean are forever, you put a ring on it, she's yours. but your other will probably fly the nest one day... which you knew all along, but this is the in your face evidence that it's likely you'll lose her. yes?

it isn't weakness to want to hold on to what you love.
 
people say they deal with things in different ways, but i would not be them.
 
Being in a poly relationship is incredibly hard. The irony is that I have no problem when the bean goes out to play with others or when we do as a couple but my issue is with my secondary partner. We've been together for 7 months now and she has just started to see other people and accrue more BDSM experiences. I knew she wanted this when I met her so it doesn't come as a surprise but I find I can't get over the hurt I feel. I was having such difficulty with it that I ended up breaking it off with her but that only lasted 48 hours as I couldn't stop crying and haven't felt that crappy in a dozen years. Now I sit here while she's on a date with some other guy. It's platonic for now but she is interested in exploring all her options. I don't begrudge her that as she is still in her twenties and has a lot to learn and experience still. I can't seem to get past the fact that I can't be her everything. I know it's not logical as I have limited Dom experience and am bound by time and space and child as is she, but it doesn't make the pain any less severe.

I am drowning in a sea of pain and I can't keep burdening her with it for fear of her getting fed up with me.

I hate the way I feel.
I hate my weakness.
I hate her need to grow without me.

I love her so much it hurts. More than I ever thought possible.

Good grief dude.
 
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