The Insult Thread

[SimonDoom]

You're ugly and your mother wears Army boots!

Oh, that felt so good.

At least my mother CAN wear boots. They tried putting boots on your mom but she grunted and trotted her way back to the trough for her daily feeding.

 

[Blasia_X]

You're ugly and your mother wears Army boots!

Oh, that felt so good.

My mom looks hot in army boots.

 

[SimonDoom]

My mom looks hot in army boots.

That's what she said, anyway, in the newspaper advertisement that began with the words "For a good time, call . . . "

 

[Speshul91]

If all the village idiots left their villages and started a new village you would be the village idiot

 

[Blasia_X]

That's what she said, anyway, in the newspaper advertisement that began with the words "For a good time, call . . . "

And you obviously did.

Wait....

DADDY???

 

[SimonDoom]

That's how I avoid complex tasks

It's for the best. Keep it simple. Tic Tac Toe. Good people know their limitations.

 

[SimonDoom]

And you obviously did.

Wait....

DADDY???

Look. I told her, "You had me at 'boots.' I didn't sign on for the kid."

 

[SimonDoom]

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son

It's better than being skinny, sober, and self-aware enough to know you haven't gotten any for the last ten years and it ain't happening for the next ten, either.

 

[SimonDoom]

We need a link to the Goebbels shot.
I always saw you more as a Goering sort.

I appreciate your sensitive attempt to decide which evil Nazi I most resemble.

 

[sirhugs]

I appreciate your sensitive attempt to decide which evil Nazi I most resemble.

well, wouldn't you really rather be the larger than life glutton and berserker than the weaselly propagandist?

 

[XerXesXu]

Facts to me are like barnacles on a whale; they're minor annoyances, but they're not going to hinder me in my voyage.

WOW. You can out-Goebells Goebells.

 

[BeechLeaf]

I keep reading this as the Inuit Thread. But nobody mentions Eskimos. What a stupid thread.

 

[sirhugs]

I keep reading this as the Inuit Thread. But nobody mentions Eskimos. What a stupid thread.

Just don't trigger a polar bear attack @anthrodisiac would need to start a new count

 

[SimonDoom]

well, wouldn't you really rather be the larger than life glutton and berserker than the weaselly propagandist?

So, basically, you're saying you've got my back?

Better than XerxesXu, I'll give you that.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I keep reading this as the Inuit Thread. But nobody mentions Eskimos. What a stupid thread.

I hear Eskimos are like Tupperware, they both want tight seals.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I'm not wasting good insults on this lot.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and watch you take a leak

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm not wasting good insults on this lot.

So why are you wasting bad ones?

 

[SimonDoom]

If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the John and watch you take a leak

Which would be kind of creepy, but at least you'd be able to see something big and enjoyable for a change.

 

[Bramblethorn]

So why are you wasting bad ones?

It's what you've earned.

 

[SimonDoom]

It's what you've earned.

I'm on the highway to hell, B, but you're on the bus going there with me.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Which would be kind of creepy, but at least you'd be able to see something big and enjoyable for a change.

Your wife goes into the John with you?

 

[sirhugs]

So, basically, you're saying you've got my back?

Better than XerxesXu, I'll give you that.

a rather back handed compliment.
But I guess that nazi clones can't be expected to be too bright.

 

[sirhugs]

I'm on the highway to hell, B, but you're on the bus going there with me.

Just don't get Thunderstruck.

 

[Chefbgrif]

I support this idea in principle. If we’re going to throw tomatoes, lets make them foam ones.

The rules should be simple:

1. Be funnier than you are mean.
2. If the person you’re insulting laughs, you win.
3. If you have to explain why it was funny, you lose.

As for your opening salvo… I’ll politely decline to comment on anyone’s alleged donkey-related extracurricular activities. That’s between them, the donkey, and whatever therapist drew the short straw.

If this thread survives longer than a day, it’ll be a minor miracle. If it survives a week, someone should bronze it.

Katie

I was in the tavern business for thirty-five years. The last thirteen as the owner of a landmark tavern in New York’s Hudson Valley. The place had its usual assortment of denizens. There were a few of them that were particularly adept at holding forth. Their forte was barbed repartee, or ball busting in the colloquial. There were many a fun filled afternoon as the banter was volleyed back and forth for hours. I do believe they followed your suggested rules to the letter.
Would love to chat if you’d care to do so.