The Infamous Fruitcake of Death

[Xelebes]

I'm thankful my Welsh grandmother didn't have the fruitcake tradition to begin with. My other grandmother didn't bother with Christmas.

 

[TxRad]

Oh, wow, Corsicana! I knew they used to have a big brickyard there, but I didn't know you could get good fruitcake there as well. Do they ship?

Yes they do. I had four shipped last week.

I believe so. Look here.

ETA: I might have to re-think this whole fruitcake thing.

Thank you, I resemble that remark.

 

[cloudy]

We don't do the fruitcake thing. My stepdad, however, makes wonderful fruitcake cookies, which don't share anything with the fruitcake of death besides "fruitcake" being part of the name.

They're moist, and chewy, and more cake-like than cookie. Yum.

In case anyone is interested:

1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 egg
1 3/4 cup sifted all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon soda
1/4 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup chopped pecans
1 cup candied cherries
1 cup chopped dates
/2 cup mixed candied fruits

Cream shortening and sugar until light. Add egg and beat until well blended. Reserving a little of the flour to toss with the fruit. Combine remaining flour with the salt and soda. Add the dry ingredients alternately with buttermilk. Toss fruits with the reserved flour. Fold in the floured fruits and chopped pecans. Drop by spoonfuls onto greased baking sheets, leaving 1 1/2 to 2 inches between cookies. Bake at 400° for 8 to 13 minutes, depending on size of cookies. Makes from 3 to 5 dozen fruit cake cookies. Store in an airtight container.

 

[driphoney]

We don't do the fruitcake thing. My stepdad, however, makes wonderful fruitcake cookies, which don't share anything with the fruitcake of death besides "fruitcake" being part of the name.

They're moist, and chewy, and more cake-like than cookie. Yum.

In case anyone is interested:

1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup shortening
1 egg
1 3/4 cup sifted all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon soda
1/4 cup buttermilk
3/4 cup chopped pecans
1 cup candied cherries
1 cup chopped dates
/2 cup mixed candied fruits

Cream shortening and sugar until light. Add egg and beat until well blended. Reserving a little of the flour to toss with the fruit. Combine remaining flour with the salt and soda. Add the dry ingredients alternately with buttermilk. Toss fruits with the reserved flour. Fold in the floured fruits and chopped pecans. Drop by spoonfuls onto greased baking sheets, leaving 1 1/2 to 2 inches between cookies. Bake at 400° for 8 to 13 minutes, depending on size of cookies. Makes from 3 to 5 dozen fruit cake cookies. Store in an airtight container.

Thank you for posting this! I've had them and thought they were wonderful, but couldn't find a recipe that looked right.

 

[SlickTony]

Wow. I've learned a lot in this thread.

 

[TxRad]

Wow. I've learned a lot in this thread.

I'm getting fat...er in this thread.

 

[glynndah]

I'm getting fat...er in this thread.

Those fruitcakes were for illustrative purposes only, sweetie.

 

[3113]

I'm thankful my Welsh grandmother didn't have the fruitcake tradition to begin with. My other grandmother didn't bother with Christmas.

I'm with you! I really don't like candied fruit. Dried fruits are okay depending. And these recipes of candied fruits, booze-soaked cake and maybe frosting make me grateful that my family has remained blissfully ignorant of such traditions.

 

[Xelebes]

On that note, it does make me want to make a fruitcake and pass it around my siblings like it was a heirloom.

 

[SweetWitch]

My dad tossed a fruit cake out into the pasture, hoping the hogs would eat it. What happened was a sink-hole opened and swallowed half the pasture.

 

[Handley_Page]

My dad tossed a fruit cake out into the pasture, hoping the hogs would eat it. What happened was a sink-hole opened and swallowed half the pasture.

A fruit cake for the Earth Mother herself, eh ?.

There is absolutely nothing quite like a real, rich, fruitcake (at about 500 calories per small slice). Absolute Heaven!
Both sets of Grandmas made them, and me dear old Mum (God rest her soul). I got a real education when I was little.

 

[SlickTony]

I'm with you! I really don't like candied fruit. Dried fruits are okay depending....

Publix' bakery sells something called Breakfast Bread, which is full of nuts and dried fruit. It is lovely when toasted and spread with cream cheese.

My dad tossed a fruit cake out into the pasture, hoping the hogs would eat it. What happened was a sink-hole opened and swallowed half the pasture.

Oh, my! Did the hogs get away safe?

 

[SweetWitch]

A fruit cake for the Earth Mother herself, eh ?.

There is absolutely nothing quite like a real, rich, fruitcake (at about 500 calories per small slice). Absolute Heaven!
Both sets of Grandmas made them, and me dear old Mum (God rest her soul). I got a real education when I was little.

My mom attempted it. No one was brave enough to taste it, except my dad who did so out of fear of his wife. The expression on his face was enough for the rest of us.

Publix' bakery sells something called Breakfast Bread, which is full of nuts and dried fruit. It is lovely when toasted and spread with cream cheese.



Oh, my! Did the hogs get away safe?

Well, three of them turned up missing. We believe the earth took 'em to get rid of the taste in her mouth.

 

[MagicaPractica]

I always loved the cake part of it, but hated the candied fruit in it. One year, my mother made me one with only pecans and raisins in it. It was awesome.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I always loved the cake part of it, but hated the candied fruit in it. One year, my mother made me one with only pecans and raisins in it. It was awesome.

The Collins Bakery version of pineapple and pecan was, too. I can hardly wait to try the apricot/pecan. Maybe with some dark chocolate topping?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Ohdamnanotherbump!

 

[driphoney]

The Collins Bakery version of pineapple and pecan was, too. I can hardly wait to try the apricot/pecan. Maybe with some dark chocolate topping?

Those were looking very good! I've heard that several chefs have revamped the traditional fruitcake recipe to be more appealing to the modern American palate, maybe these are the modern twists.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I don't know. When my grandfather was alive, we got one every Christmas. But that was a long time ago, twenty years or more so I don't know how 'modern' they really are. Maybe Collins just has a superior tradition?

 

[SweetWitch]

The Collins Bakery version of pineapple and pecan was, too. I can hardly wait to try the apricot/pecan. Maybe with some dark chocolate topping?

Actually, that one sounds pretty tasty. I might even be tempted to try it--with the dark chocolate topping, of course.

 

[SlickTony]

The fruitcake needs to be revamped every now and then, considering how it began as medieval field rations.

 

[driphoney]

The fruitcake needs to be revamped every now and then, considering how it began as medieval field rations.

Thank goodness Spam didn't get the same promotion!

 

[SlickTony]

Thank goodness Spam didn't get the same promotion!

Everybody says how awful Spam is, but really, it's not that horrible. My dad loved the stuff. I wouldn't buy it on a regular basis, but I'll eat it if it's set before me. I understand that it's very popular in Hawaii and they do all kinds of things with it.

Considering what a lot of medieval food was like, who knows how much Spam might improve if it's allowed to evolve?

 

[driphoney]

Everybody says how awful Spam is, but really, it's not that horrible. My dad loved the stuff. I wouldn't buy it on a regular basis, but I'll eat it if it's set before me. I understand that it's very popular in Hawaii and they do all kinds of things with it.

Camping ... it definitely goes well with camping and brown sugar and mustard.

 

[SlickTony]

Camping ... it definitely goes well with camping and brown sugar and mustard.

Interesting--is it cooked with the brown sugar and mustard or do the condiments go on it? My dad used to slice it and fry it.

 

[vrosej10]

Oh, that's hilarious! I laughed and laughed when I read it. How did you cook that rooster? Reason I asked, something that has very tough meat, you have to give it special treatment. I'd have pressure-cooked the sucker myself, although when I was in Iran, where I had to deal with some very tough mutton (mutton is what they eat in Iran more than beef) I RoastaBags (by Reynolds) worked when I could get hold of them.

He got roasted, which was a mistake, but he was actually quite a young bird so we were expecting something more tender. I think his meat just reflected his personality. He was a bastard!