The "I don't want to talk about AI" thread, and the new topic is: something that rhymes with "clicks"

[Bramblethorn]

There are adverbs and adverbs. These are obviously okay, even necessary:

Walked quickly
Coughed quietly

Agreed.

I think the argument here is about whether the reader can have privileged access to people's inner state (which is also fine, if you're writing omniscient, which I never do).
So:
"I disagree," she said bravely (as I mentioned in another thread, JK Rowling does this a lot) - I avoid this, preferring e.g.
"I disagree", she said, meeting my gaze.

That's part of it - when done in a limited-perspective narrative, it can feel like a soft kind of head-hopping, unless the narrator knows the emoter well enough to be confident in interpreting their emotes.

But even in omniscient I'd encourage authors to think about whether there are better ways to convey this kind of thing. @iwatchus mentioned show-vs.-tell above; well, when I write "angrily" I'm telling that character's mental state, just as much as if I'd written "he was angry". While I don't espouse show-don't-tell as an absolute rule it's often a good idea for key scenes and there are several ways I could show the character's anger here.

• I could write something like "His face reddened and he sprayed flecks of spittle as he shouted at me".
• Or I could write "His eyes hardened and he spoke in a cold monotone." Still conveying anger, but a different kind of anger.
• I could convey anger through his dialogue, by the words he uses.
• Or, if I've done a good enough job establishing how much this guy loves his rose garden, and the damage I inadvertently did while backing my car over it, the reader may already know that he's going to be furious before he ever opens his mouth.

Any of those approaches is likely to do a better job of putting the reader in the scene than if I just write "he was angry".

(OTOH, sometimes pacing calls for getting through a scene in a hurry, and at times like that a brief "tell" might be preferable to a more detailed "show".)

 

[Bramblethorn]

Back on the subject of booze: is this the worst cocktail idea ever? Discuss.

 

[MrPixel]

However.... I've heard of various psychological 'isms' where individuals have difficulty in recognising facial expressions.

Asberger's syndrome.

 

[StillStunned]

I think it's time to give this thread a little bumpety-bump.

 

[NuclearFairy]

The kids all brought home some almond joys last night, and I'm the only one in the house that both likes them and can eat them. So, candy for me!

 

[TheLobster]

I wasn’t entirely correct when I said in the nearby thread is not really a thing here. No fewer than five groups of tricksters came around, and being completely unprepared I had to dig into deep reserves of cookies and chocolate-glazed vanilla marshmallows.

There were no stinkbombs in the morning, so I suppose it was a decent enough effort.

 

[StillStunned]

For my new story, I'm describing a succubus who's summoned by an apprentice sorcerer:

A form took shape within the fire, or perhaps the fire took on physical form. Legs, a torso, arms, neck and head. Tall and graceful, but filling out with curves and… other bits that Arno had only seen in his dreams.

Then it stood before him. The fire didn’t dim, or disappear. It was suddenly a woman, or something that looked like a woman. Flames cupped her breasts like hands, and licked up from between her legs to obscure her– her womanhood. Obscure it, but tantalisingly. As if Arno might spy her secrets if only he looked closely enough.

 

[stickygirl]

Asberger's syndrome.

prosopagnosia or maybe alexithymia but those could be traits associated with autism amongst other things.

I think folks are drinking cocktails now though

 

[TheLobster]

For my new story, I'm describing a succubus who's summoned by an apprentice sorcerer:

A form took shape within the fire, or perhaps the fire took on physical form. Legs, a torso, arms, neck and head. Tall and graceful, but filling out with curves and… other bits that Arno had only seen in his dreams.

Then it stood before him. The fire didn’t dim, or disappear. It was suddenly a woman, or something that looked like a woman. Flames cupped her breasts like hands, and licked up from between her legs to obscure her– her womanhood. Obscure it, but tantalisingly. As if Arno might spy her secrets if only he looked closely enough.

Hey! Are you trying to usurp my title of the local Comma Aficionado? And you’re not even using the Oxford flavor thereof! What gives?

Intriguing start, by the way. Would read more.

 

[StillStunned]

Hey! Are you trying to usurp my title of the local Comma Aficionado? And you’re not even using the Oxford flavor thereof! What gives?

Intriguing start, by the way. Would read more.

I tend to use commas for lots of things. Here, it's to indicate a pause or an awareness shift without breaking the flow.

Punctuation is a wonderful tool for controlling how the reader absorbs your words. At the very least, a comma adds a space that makes the words more visible, so they stand out and stick in the reader's mind.

 

[Trionyx]

At the very least, a comma adds a space that makes the words more visible, so they stand out and stick in the reader's mind.

I, will, try, to, remember, that.

 

[NuclearFairy]

My SO keeps murdering my commas. Although, he is more likely to simply move them around.

 

[Bamagan]

Gripe: I dislike the word 'doggo' rather a lot.

 

[StillStunned]

One of my more intense dislikes is "akimbo".

 

[ElectricBlue]

One of my more intense dislikes is "akimbo".

I know. They get really tight in the crotch, don't they?

 

[StillStunned]

I know. They get really tight in the crotch, don't they?

 

[TheLobster]

Where @ElectricBlue is from, they were their thongs on their feet, so maybe this is a type of pants over there.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Where @ElectricBlue is from, they were their thongs on their feet, so maybe this is a type of pants over there.

This proves the observation that humour doesn't travel. I wrote those words with a completely straight face, and now I can't believe you thought I was serious!

Here in Australia it's called, taking the piss .

 

[Bamagan]

I'm somewhat aggrieved that the word 'breakfast' already exists, because I'd like to use it for products that break fast (cease to function soon after the first use).

 

[cw5523729]

I heard that @StillStunned dislikes the word "eggs" which is why I just said "eggs" and am saying "eggs" again.


Eggs eggs eggs

 

[Bamagan]

I heard that @StillStunned dislikes the word "eggs" which is why I just said "eggs" and am saying "eggs" again.


Eggs eggs eggs

Eggses oh eggses
The sulfurous fruitses
The more granny suckses
The grosser her tootses

Apologies, it appears I may have gone mad recently.

 

[cw5523729]

Apologies, it appears I may have gone mad recently.

No worries, it's cool. It's Monday after all.

 

[Bazzle]

your and you're and there and their.

Also public and pubic

spell checker is quite happy with them.

 

[cw5523729]

your and you're and there and their.

Also public and pubic

spell checker is quite happy with them.

Your shaving you're public hair down their?

 

[nice90sguy]

My SO keeps murdering my commas. Although, he is more likely to simply move them around.

I think you meant to post that in the Fetish Central forum, but nm