The "I don't want to talk about AI" thread, and the new topic is: literary euphemisms

[TheLobster]

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!

 

[Z_TheWriter]

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what this Thread is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

 

[Statius]

The latter, definitely the latter.

 

[iwatchus]

The latter, definitely the latter.

And it just happened again

 

[Statius]

Like a secret door to another dimension, alternate reality

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Not a duck joke, but I groan and laugh every time I hear it.

A group of strings walk into a bar.
The bartender screams, "We don't serve strings here. Get out."
The leave in a huff.
One of them, not to be deterred, bends himself around into a knot and tousles on of his ends, before turning around and walking back into the bar.
"Aren't you one of those strings I just threw out of her?" The bartender screams.
.
.
.
.
.
Nope, frayed knot.


You're welcome.

 

[cw5523729]

Not a duck joke, but I groan and laugh every time I hear it.

A group of strings walk into a bar.
The bartender screams, "We don't serve strings here. Get out."
The leave in a huff.
One of them, not to be deterred, bends himself around into a knot and tousles on of his ends, before turning around and walking back into the bar.
"Aren't you one of those strings I just threw out of her?" The bartender screams.
.
.
.
.
.
Nope, frayed knot.


You're welcome.

I believe that all jokes are welcome. @StillStunned doesn't strike me as the discriminatory type

#alljokesmatter

 

[TheLobster]

An electron walks into a bar.
“Please leave, we don’t want your negativity here,” barkeep says.

A neutrino walks through a bar.

So he leaves.
“Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”
A tachyon walks into a bar.

 

[MillieDynamite]

This is all so theoretical.

An electron walks into a bar.
“Please leave, we don’t want your negativity here,” barkeep says.

A neutrino walks through a bar.

So he leaves.
“Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”
A tachyon walks into a bar.

 

[TheLobster]

This is all so theoretical.

Physicists’ jokes can get very particulate at times.

 

[MrPixel]

Considering the duck lead-in to particle physics, I was trying to come up with something witty about "quack", "quark", and "quirk", but I wasn't quick enough. All perfectly good Wordle words, BTW.

 

[iwatchus]

Physicists’ jokes can get very particulate at times.

Too many of them are a little spacey for me.

 

[Bamagan]

A cop pulled Werner Heisenberg to the side of the road.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked.
"Yes, because I'm lost!" Heisenberg replied.
---
Hugh Everett happening.
---
A cop pulled Werner Heisenberg to the side of the road.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked.
"No, I'm using my GPS!"

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

A cop pulled Werner Heisenberg to the side of the road.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked.
"Yes, because I'm lost!" Heisenberg replied.
---
Hugh Everett happening.
---
A cop pulled Werner Heisenberg to the side of the road.
"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asked.
"No, I'm using my GPS!"

A company I worked for, we called intermittent defects Heisenbugs...

 

[SmilingLez]

A well prepared whole roasted duck with root veggies is no joke, just yum

 

[NuclearFairy]

A well prepared whole roasted duck with root veggies is no joke, just yum

As long as it's not wild duck, those sometimes taste extremely fishy.

 

[Statius]

A well prepared whole roasted duck with root veggies is no joke, just yum

Really? I only had duck once at a restaurant. Didn't care for it. Found it dry like turkey.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Really? I only had duck once at a restaurant. Didn't care for it. Found it dry like turkey.

Sounds like you haven't eaten a properly cooked turkey either.

For tastiest results, and you'll have to abandon any obsessions with crispy skin for this, cook it in a crock pot on low heat with lots of butter.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Too many of them are a little spacey for me.

But they're always so energetic about it all!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

A company I worked for, we called intermittent defects Heisenbugs...

Those suckers are ANNOYING!

 

[UsuallyPresent]

As long as it's not wild duck, those sometimes taste extremely fishy.

The fish ducks like mergansers only eat fish or water bugs, so, yeah. Basically feathered predatory dinosaurs.

Mallard, teal, those ain't fishy, much more plant-fed, and cooked right can be delicious. Slow-cooking until the meat drops from the bone, served over wild rice? Nummy!

 

[iwatchus]

Sounds like you haven't eaten a properly cooked turkey either.

For tastiest results, and you'll have to abandon any obsessions with crispy skin for this, cook it in a crock pot on low heat with lots of butter.

Crock pot turkey is yummy. When I used to go down for t-day at BIL, he would cook three turkeys: one traditional, one deep friend and one crock pot. The crock pot turkey was consistently the favorite. He actually still cooks all three and my SO and son go down. I stay home and give the cat her insulin twice a day.

 

[Statius]

Here's some blasphemy for everyone. I prefer a roasted chicken for thanksgiving.

It's not that I don't like turkey, if I have a choice, though (same for duck).

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Wild meats, like wild duck or wild turkey, are generally difficult to cook correctly compared to domesticated versions. The wild generally end up needing a whole lot more precision in time and temperature to get to ideal results comparatively. Slow cooking or crockpot wild game cooking is slow enough that it opens that ideal window wide enough that it's comparable with domestic meats' ease.

 

[MrPixel]

BBQ joint in these parts prepares an awesome smoked turkey, always moist and tender, so tender you can cut it with the side of your fork. Mentioned in a couple of my stories, once by name.