The Housework

[FurryFury]

I refuse to feel guilty about having someone come in to clean. I hate doing it myself, always have. When I lived in NZ and my kids were young, my mother would visit and always end up cleaning because the place wasn't up to her exacting standards We lived on a farm with all the dirt and crap that entails - what did she expect?

When I say I have a cleaner come in, some subs (not from Lit I add) seem to think that I'm lazy and not a "twue" sub if I don't put myself out and do absolutely everything. Is there a law which says "You sub therefore you must clean?" Not in my book, or Sir's come to that.

I do a LOT of things here that they would never have to do in a million years. Taking care of Sir is a full time job and the worry and stress is enormous. If having someone come in to take some of the weight off my shoulders by doing a bit of cleaning makes my life easier, I'm all for it. I would rather spend more quality time with Sir

It's nobody's business how your house gets cleaned or not cleaned.

I would use a maid service if I had the bucks and if I could stand having someone in my house who I imagine would be judging me. <Big Deal Breaker>

A clean house, or not, is not a D/s issue to me at all.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

I so wish I had seen this a week ago.

I do not yet live with my Dom but we plan to as soon as we are able to agree where we will live.

...but regarding housework. He often uses housework as a disciplinary tool and if he is displeased with my attitude or performance he will often spank me using either his hand, paddle or belt and then makes me do his homework for an hour or so. Or he will come to my place and if he thinks I've let my duties slide I'll get the same treatment.

We have actually discussed this at length and he has determined that all house work will be shared and duties divided and assigned by him weekly, according to our schedules. He has also determined I will be disciplined for not completing chores and will be assigned his chores all or in part if he feels I need that sort of discipline. He will spank me for failure to comply yet I will not be allowed to spank him for the same failure...the meanie.

He believes this creates a mix of play and discipline training. I feel it creates a set up and gives him a reason to spank me and make me do the housework.

Just saying

For those of you who live with your SO, who does the housework in your household? Is it shared? Are there expectations, negotiations, did things just work themselves out?

Do either or both of you have difficulty balancing things out with work, play, etc?

Say a few words about the state of your domestic economy.

 

[kinky_meh]

Right, i live on my own atm, but when i was with my ex it used to be like this.

I did all and he did shit. LOL

Once i've forgot wash the dishes and he did it, i had to listen to it for next 2 months, so next time he wanted to 'HELP' i told him 'NO, thank you very much. I wont listen your moaning that you had to do the dishes!! for next two months."

Sooooooo ...... I am used to do things by myself.

 

[dexwebster]

I do all of the housework. My will occasionally do some dishes on the weekend. I'm okay with that, though, because he works two full time jobs, and I just work the one (not even that at the moment, because my kneecap decided to migrate).

 

[barefoot_bohemian]

I do all of the housework, and I've never seen it in any D/s context...

but now my brain sure is swimming. Oye.


We have what could be considered a very traditional gender roles household.

I cook. I clean. I manage our datebook when it involves family events or holidays. I garden.

He eats. He makes messes. *giggle*

No, but, he fixes things. He takes out the trash and recycling. He rigs up complicated electronics I enjoy the ability to use but cannot understand.

((This could lead down the "feminism and submission" discussion path...))


Mostly I enjoy pleasing.

I enjoy cooking, and watching him enjoy the supper I made.

...but I also serve supper each night.

I'm a sucker for the "But food just tastes better when you arrange it on the plate for me" routine.

/sigh

 

[intothewoods]

I do all of the housework, and I've never seen it in any D/s context...

but now my brain sure is swimming. Oye.


We have what could be considered a very traditional gender roles household.

I cook. I clean. I manage our datebook when it involves family events or holidays. I garden.

He eats. He makes messes. *giggle*

No, but, he fixes things. He takes out the trash and recycling. He rigs up complicated electronics I enjoy the ability to use but cannot understand.

((This could lead down the "feminism and submission" discussion path...))


Mostly I enjoy pleasing.

I enjoy cooking, and watching him enjoy the supper I made.

...but I also serve supper each night.

I'm a sucker for the "But food just tastes better when you arrange it on the plate for me" routine.

/sigh

Even though I'd never admit it to certain friends, I love when Mister Man says, the man does x, the woman does y (just in our "house," not the world at large).

It pretty much breaks down the way you have it, barefoot, except that weeding and cleaning up the yard is man's work. Planting and all that jazz is woman's work. I cook, and he does the dishes. He makes coffee, and will ocasionally cook one of his special recipes. And of course, men handle the BBQ!

I have this weird thing that men should be able to BBQ and drive a stick shift. And assemble furniture. I think that's all.

My name is itw and I am still a feminist.

 

[barefoot_bohemian]

My name is itw and I am still a feminist.

Darn right!

And I am one as well-- because this is my choice.



And about BBQ-- I agree 100%.

 

[Netzach]

I take out the garbage. He loads the dishwasher because he's insane about how it's done. Yep.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I feel it creates a set up and gives him a reason to spank me and make me do the housework.

Just saying

I'm of like mind with your dom and it sounds like you got our number.

 

[Domwoolf]

shared housework

For those of you who live with your SO, who does the housework in your household? Is it shared? Are there expectations, negotiations, did things just work themselves out?

Do either or both of you have difficulty balancing things out with work, play, etc?

Say a few words about the state of your domestic economy.

We all share the housework as we all work, but I do insist on a clean house and assign certian tasks to both my wife/subbie and my live in subbie. One thing I do demand is all housework is done in proper uniform.
Dom Woolf

 

[intothewoods]

We all share the housework as we all work, but I do insist on a clean house and assign certian tasks to both my wife/subbie and my live in subbie. One thing I do demand is all housework is done in proper uniform.
Dom Woolf

I envision awesome conversations with that arrangement.

Daddy, why is Mommy mopping the floors without clothes on??

Mommy, all the other kids at school have parents who wear CLOTHES when they clean the kitchen!

I take out the garbage. He loads the dishwasher because he's insane about how it's done. Yep.

That's kinda hot. You know, you should totally punish him by making him randomly load and unload dishwasher's. At my apartment. Just sayin!

 

[bridgeburner]

I take out the garbage. He loads the dishwasher because he's insane about how it's done. Yep.

[
But! But! If you put stuff in the right way you can put in more dishes AND they get cleaner because nothing's blocking the spray of water and soap.

I'm just sayin'.

I'm really unconcerned about how laundry gets folded. Does that help?

 

[intothewoods]

[
But! But! If you put stuff in the right way you can put in more dishes AND they get cleaner because nothing's blocking the spray of water and soap.

I'm just sayin'.

I'm really unconcerned about how laundry gets folded. Does that help?

Seriously, I want to adopt someone who is this into the dishwasher, and use it to my advantage.

 

[graceanne]

Seriously, I want to adopt someone who is this into the dishwasher, and use it to my advantage.

I wuv you. LOL

 

[celticsunspiral]

Housework

In my house I think I do the lion's share even though I work more hours and make more money. I work 9 hrs a day, drive 1 hr a day, and usually bring home 1-2 hours of work each night.

I clean, dust, vacumn, laundry, organize and plant outside. I am also responsible for the bills, car maintence and repair, making all appointments and keeping track of our schedules. Oh, we have 1 dog and 2 cats, I feed them breakfast and clean litter pans.

He mows (most of the time, because I have bad allergies), takes down the laundry, unloads the diswasher and feeds the animals dinner. He does cook about half the time which is awesome. Oh and he plays WOW.

When we have company coming in he will help me as long as I tell him what to do, but he will try to disapear in the middle. He also does not have standards as high as mine. Example: If I asked him to clean the kitchen he would load the dishwasher and organize the tupperware but would forget to wipe of the stove or counters. Usually he thinks we are done before I do.

I don't mind doing what I do but I do mind it being unappreciated.

 

[FurryFury]

I think people need to "own" what they do. Why do you do it? Is it because you feel it needs to be done for your comfort level or because someone else asks you to? If it's the former don't expect to be appreciate, it won't happen. That's your issue.

If it's the later you still might not get appreciation. People are like that. If you are very lucky you'll have one of the good ones that does appreciate.

 

[bridgeburner]

Seriously, I want to adopt someone who is this into the dishwasher, and use it to my advantage.

At my house anyone who's into the dishwasher is wearing a condom.

I haven't had an dishwashing machine since I moved out of my parents house. What I would love to have and miss most about my last apartment is a washer and drier.

 

[bridgeburner]

I think people need to "own" what they do. Why do you do it? Is it because you feel it needs to be done for your comfort level or because someone else asks you to? If it's the former don't expect to be appreciate, it won't happen. That's your issue.

If it's the later you still might not get appreciation. People are like that. If you are very lucky you'll have one of the good ones that does appreciate.

You've got that right. If it really matters to you then do it for yourself. If the only reason you want it done or done a certain way is because you think somebody ought to do it, then that's no reason to take it out on a housemate.

Unless, of course, that's the arrangement you've got with said housemate. ;->

 

[celticsunspiral]

I think people need to "own" what they do.

I agree with you. I do what I do because it needs to be done. I like seeing the house clean and when others come over it gives me pride because I know I did it.

But it would be nice if he "owned" more work around the house.

CelticSun

 

[intothewoods]

I wuv you. LOL

Thank you, I feel the love.

At my house anyone who's into the dishwasher is wearing a condom.

I haven't had an dishwashing machine since I moved out of my parents house. What I would love to have and miss most about my last apartment is a washer and drier.

No glove, no love!

 

[rosco rathbone]

I do mind it being unappreciated.

I don't think anyone brought this up yet.

Appreciation is very important.

 

[ownedsubgal]

one thing i've never understood, in our little M/s male Dominated anti-feministic household, is that handling and taking out of the trash/recycling is and has always been my job. two perfectly strong, capable males live in this household. i'm a rather weak, delicate lil female thing. i ask you...what the heck is up with that??

i posed that very question to Daddy just this past sunday night (monday morn being trash day), and his answer was only "just shut up and get the trash together." hmph.

 

[graceanne]

one thing i've never understood, in our little M/s male Dominated anti-feministic household, is that handling and taking out of the trash/recycling is and has always been my job. two perfectly strong, capable males live in this household. i'm a rather weak, delicate lil female thing. i ask you...what the heck is up with that??

i posed that very question to Daddy just this past sunday night (monday morn being trash day), and his answer was only "just shut up and get the trash together." hmph.

LOL Men.

 

[Domwoolf]

nude housework

I envision awesome conversations with that arrangement.

Daddy, why is Mommy mopping the floors without clothes on??

Mommy, all the other kids at school have parents who wear CLOTHES when they clean the kitchen!


One of the nice things about being older, the (kids) are grown and gone to their own homes and family's although clothing was always optional around our house even when the kids were home. Raised that way, nudity becomes no big deal. The 24/7 bdsm that is now the norm however was confined to "after hours" or partys away from the kiddies.
Dom Woolf

 

[intothewoods]

I envision awesome conversations with that arrangement.

Daddy, why is Mommy mopping the floors without clothes on??

Mommy, all the other kids at school have parents who wear CLOTHES when they clean the kitchen!


One of the nice things about being older, the (kids) are grown and gone to their own homes and family's although clothing was always optional around our house even when the kids were home. Raised that way, nudity becomes no big deal. The 24/7 bdsm that is now the norm however was confined to "after hours" or partys away from the kiddies.
Dom Woolf

I'm sure. I was just jokin' around.

Congrats on the empty nest though!