The Hotel Literotica

[ABSTRUSE]

I’ve been off on writing sabbatical and I decided to stay at the beautiful Hotel Literotica overlooking the scenic lake Lotsanookie.
I needed the peace and quiet to be diligent in my writing venture, no distractions and room service.
Sounds lovely doesn’t it? And it was until the adjoining rooms were obviously rented by the hour. I was forced to stop writing and press my ear against the wall…for research purposes only mind you. I thought I would share a few snippets of what I’ve heard.

Mistress A: Okay, here’s the scene. It’s WWII, I’m a German interrogator and you are a Polish woman with the resistance.
Sub B: Okay…I can do this. giggle.
Mistress A: “Come here Fraulien. “….pause….What are you doing with the candlesticks?
Sub B: I’m shining them like you said.
Mistress A: sound of forehead being slapped. I said Poh-lish, not Pol-ish.

I backed away from that one. The next was interesting.

Man: Okay….I got the instructions from Bob, you ready?
Woman: Omg yes, I’ve always wanted to try this…I’ve been doing my stretching exercises. Let me just get my bra off and we can start.
Man: sounds of paper shuffling…Okay we have to stand facing one another a few feet apart…
Woman: All right…. my nipples are hard already.
Man: Spinning this dial will give us proper positioning…. right foot blue.
Woman: What?
Man: Right foot blue.
Woman: Give me that paper………….you asshole, this isn’t the Kama sutra, it’s instructions for Twister…loser!!!

It was obvious he wasn’t getting any. These two sounded familiar.

Voice #1: Please don’t say that, I know we can make it work.
Voice #2: How can you say that? Look at how different we are.
Voice#1: Baby, we’re no different from anyone else.
Voice#2: Lover, you’re an Alpaca and I’m a dormouse…do the math.

So I was wondering, anyone else stay here and have similar ‘experiences’ to share? I’m not even bringing up anything about the blonde chick from Texas who used her vibrator on the vibrating bed…let me just sat that every time she had a glass of milk, it was butter by the time it reached her lips.

Now back to my writing.

Abstruse, sometimes author.

 

[cloudy]

Um, yeah....didn't want to say anything about it, but I overheard some folks too. Purely research, of course. I was thinking about writing a BDSM piece, when I heard two Brits next door...

Woman: Spank me! I've been so bad!

Man: No! You want it too much! Do without!

Woman: Well, blimey! At least let me have one of those damn doughnuts, then!

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Um, yeah....didn't want to say anything about it, but I overheard some folks too. Purely research, of course. I was thinking about writing a BDSM piece, when I heard two Brits next door...

Woman: Spank me! I've been so bad!

Man: No! You want it too much! Do without!

I heard they're regulars there.

 

[neonlyte]

It's a jolly nice place and they cater for animals.

Last time I was there I saw a Gosling riding a Horse.

Some of the staff are a bit funny - Portuguese I think.

 

[Guest]

Um, yeah....didn't want to say anything about it, but I overheard some folks too. Purely research, of course. I was thinking about writing a BDSM piece, when I heard two Brits next door...

Woman: Spank me! I've been so bad!

Man: No! You want it too much! Do without!

Woman: Well, blimey! At least let me have one of those damn doughnuts, then!

Nah, couldn't have been anyone I know. I hear he likes spanking her as much as she likes receiving it. She'd know better than to talk back, too.

Very little conversation goes on.

You might've heard some growling, though.



Hey, Abs! This could be the hotel here, in May. How did you know?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Nah, couldn't have been anyone I know. I hear he likes spanking her as much as she likes receiving it. She'd know better than to talk back, too.

Very little conversation goes on.

You might've heard some growling, though.



Hey, Abs! This could be the hotel here, in May. How did you know?

Hey! Aren't you the French maid that told me to bugger off???


You wish it was!!.LOL.

 

[Guest]

Hey! Aren't you the French maid that told me to bugger off???


You wish it was!!.LOL.

Yes.


Oh, it will be. I'll post pics to prove it.

 

[cloudy]

Yes.


Oh, it will be. I'll post pics to prove it.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Yes.


Oh, it will be. I'll post pics to prove it.

PMSL!!! there is something wrong with you, of that I'm certain.

I'm making room for said pics as we speak.

 

[Guest]

Yep, that's the look I'll be aiming for.

PMSL!!! there is something wrong with you, of that I'm certain.

I'm making room for said pics as we speak.

You should know, love.

Make plenty.


Hey, I was at this hotel a couple of months ago. There were a pair of dykes in the room next to mine, the noisy bitches.

Feisty sub dyke: Oooh, ice! *squeel*
Domme Dyke: Bend over, bitch.
Feisty sub dyke: Make me.
*smack*
*squeel*
*smack*
Domme Dyke: Ha! Try moving now. This tape is good stuff.
Feisty sub dyke: *muffled response*

Then I lost the plot and invited the pianist from the lounge bar to come tinkle my ivories for a while. Drowned out the sound somewhat, but not quite enough.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Yep, that's the look I'll be aiming for.




You should know, love.

Make plenty.


Hey, I was at this hotel a couple of months ago. There were a pair of dykes in the room next to mine, the noisy bitches.

Feisty sub dyke: Oooh, ice! *squeel*
Domme Dyke: Bend over, bitch.
Feisty sub dyke: Make me.
*smack*
*squeel*
*smack*
Domme Dyke: Ha! Try moving now. This tape is good stuff.
Feisty sub dyke: *muffled response*

Then I lost the plot and invited the pianist from the lounge bar to come tinkle my ivories for a while. Drowned out the sound somewhat, but not quite enough.

I miss those things......I have to stop going to the buffet so much.

ps...making room with my new program installed. "Shit Shoveler 2005"

 

[TxRad]

ps...making room with my new program installed. "Shit Shoveler 2005"

Could you send a copy of that to Svet???? Maybe he'll quit dredgeing up the bowels of the AH...

 

[BlackShanglan]

Last time I was there I saw a Gosling riding a Horse.

I love you for that image

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I love you for that image

We all do.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

It's a jolly nice place and they cater for animals.

Last time I was there I saw a Gosling riding a Horse.

Some of the staff are a bit funny - Portuguese I think.

No, I believe, Spanish, from Barcelona. One's named Manuel. Used to work in this small English hotel called, oh yes, Fawlty Towers. Spent most of the day getting his head banged by Mr. Fawlty and then banging Mrs. Fawlty at night. At least that's what I understand.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[RebeccaLeah]

I don't know if I'm ever going back....the sounds from down the hallway kinda worried me.....there was a really sweet guy that I passed in the hall with a bucket of carrots, but all night I'd hear muffled metal noises, almost like horseshoes or something, and really loud neighs and whinnies plus other, quieter noises, but from something else on four legs.

 

[Guest]

feathers....
goddamn feathers!
i thought it had been a pillow fight between two fiesty regulars but no... the pillows were intact.
there would be no way this room would be ready for the next set of visitors before tomorrow. even the hoover vac would clog.
feathers plastered to everything...and...bread crumbs from the bathtub to the bed. very odd indeed. the manager this morning told me that there had been a ruckous in room 666. like that never happens. anyway... the guests never did check out and the sliding glass windows were left open...makes ya wonder.
complaints about noise last night too... seems like this writer type bitch was upset about the 'AFLAC' screaming that went on in here.
im disturbed by the eggs left behind and if i werent so damn hungry i wouldnt have made that omlette but damn! a maids gatta do what a maids gatta do.

 

[pop_54]

Never again, last time I stayed there I was driven out of my room by some sex maniacs in the next room, bloody hours it went on, all I could hear were his vile and disgusting comments and encouragement to her:

"Oh yes baby... oh yessss... I'm gunna fuck you all night... oh yes... Jesus yes you filthy little bitch, you fucking whore.... OH YESSS!!"

On and on it went keeping me awake:

"God you're beautiful... hell I've never had a fuck like you before... God I love you".

Hours had passed since it started up, the guy must have been an animal for sex, goodness knows how many times I heard:

"Ohhh.... Ysssssssss... Oh God I'm cumming, Jesus fuck... yessss... you fucking filthy whore slut", followed by a low moan and huge grunt, then babbling about his love for her before it all started up again.

"Come here you bitch I got more for you yet... open up slut... oh that's nice, so nice.... oh yess... oh yesss".

I tried covering my ears with a pillow, stuffing loo paper in my ears, all sorts, nothing seemed to stifle the wild uninhibited sexual noises from the next room. Yet again I heard him cum with a huge grunt and wail of pleasure, I could take no more and left my room to search for some peace and quiet from these sex nuts in the next room. As I passed by the door to the next room it opened and the guy concerned staggered out looking very red faced an sweaty from his efforts to pleasure his lover to the full:

"Jesus that was fucking good, best sex in months", he muttered to me as he lurched off down the hallway toward the exit shaking what appeared to be a slimy substance from his hand, I noticed he'd left the room door open.

Do you know, I couldn't resist it, I had to see her, this sex Goddess who'd pleasured this guy so hard and so long, elevated him to orgasm several times in a row, I gingerly peered into the room.

To my utter amazement the room was empty, no one in there at all, just a simple bedroom with no other doors leading from it, but no other person present at that time, I knew I hadn't missed her going, he was still babbling filth to her as I'd opened my door a few minutes previously, all i could see was a big dent in the bed-clothing to one side of the bed, and several wet stains all over the carpet.

That's been a total mystery to me ever since that day, where did his lover go, I mean she didn't leave with him... did she?

 

[Blackie Malone]

Try being in a room next to a pirate and his damn bird. Totally killed the whole Geisha thing I had going on with all that squawking.

 

[pop_54]

Try being in a room next to a pirate and his damn bird. Totally killed the whole Geisha thing I had going on with all that squawking.

So it was you... you noisey sod... God you must have had some blisters after that session

Umm... sorry about the bird, gets a bit excited when we play that game

 

[pop_54]

Any more hotel tales about bump.

 

[Blackie Malone]

Any more hotel tales about bump.

Just watch yourself in the bar...I had one of their "house" drinks, picked up someone and went up to my room....turned on the lights and AHHHHHHhhhhh!! Talk about ugly, my strap-on got turtle dick.

 

[neonlyte]

I took a lady friend to lunch at Hotel Literotica, this is what we ate:

Starter
Figs-O-Lucky - beautiful rich moist globes of fruit that seperated at the slightest touch to reveal a succulent honey scented interior, a delight for the tongue, heavenly to eat - with parma ham.

Main Course
Crimson Breasts - exquisitely tender breasts that fell into your mouth as soon as look at them, on a red wine and pomnegranite sauce with spears of asparagus that my partner couldn't get into her mouth quickly enough.

Dessert
Vella's Velvet Delight - a mousse of mango topped with golden spun sugar threads, the dish glowed radiently from the table, I could hardly wait to get stuck into it.

After lunch, we talk a walk in the garden and amused ourselves watching the Rhino play with its horn.

Can't wait for supper.

 

[Blackie Malone]

I'm going to have to make it a point to go for dinner!!!

I went to the cart out front and had a Pops-icle, a Cantdog with saurkraut and some lime, but it went bad.

 

[LorriLove]

Never again, last time I stayed there I was driven out of my room by some sex maniacs in the next room, bloody hours it went on, all I could hear were his vile and disgusting comments and encouragement to her:

"Oh yes baby... oh yessss... I'm gunna fuck you all night... oh yes... Jesus yes you filthy little bitch, you fucking whore.... OH YESSS!!"

On and on it went keeping me awake:

"God you're beautiful... hell I've never had a fuck like you before... God I love you".

Hours had passed since it started up, the guy must have been an animal for sex, goodness knows how many times I heard:

"Ohhh.... Ysssssssss... Oh God I'm cumming, Jesus fuck... yessss... you fucking filthy whore slut", followed by a low moan and huge grunt, then babbling about his love for her before it all started up again.

"Come here you bitch I got more for you yet... open up slut... oh that's nice, so nice.... oh yess... oh yesss".

I tried covering my ears with a pillow, stuffing loo paper in my ears, all sorts, nothing seemed to stifle the wild uninhibited sexual noises from the next room. Yet again I heard him cum with a huge grunt and wail of pleasure, I could take no more and left my room to search for some peace and quiet from these sex nuts in the next room. As I passed by the door to the next room it opened and the guy concerned staggered out looking very red faced an sweaty from his efforts to pleasure his lover to the full:

"Jesus that was fucking good, best sex in months", he muttered to me as he lurched off down the hallway toward the exit shaking what appeared to be a slimy substance from his hand, I noticed he'd left the room door open.

Do you know, I couldn't resist it, I had to see her, this sex Goddess who'd pleasured this guy so hard and so long, elevated him to orgasm several times in a row, I gingerly peered into the room.

To my utter amazement the room was empty, no one in there at all, just a simple bedroom with no other doors leading from it, but no other person present at that time, I knew I hadn't missed her going, he was still babbling filth to her as I'd opened my door a few minutes previously, all i could see was a big dent in the bed-clothing to one side of the bed, and several wet stains all over the carpet.

That's been a total mystery to me ever since that day, where did his lover go, I mean she didn't leave with him... did she?

i was hiding under the bed pops honey