The God of Irony

[BlackShanglan]

They are the only gods who never sleep, and whose workings on the mortal plane are absolutely scrutable and predictable. And yet they manage to sneak up on us while we're busy blundering about in the fog of our own hubris.

Case in point: I've never had patience for the forces of Dairy Demonization. It's become something of a trend to decry the use of milk and milk products for a host of confusedly connected reasons running the gamut from the ethical to the nutritional to the spiritual. I'd been subjected to enough preaching on the topic to have become decidedly irritable at the mere sight of rice milk or soy cheese.

And so, of course, the irony gods sent me a little blessing from on high. Hah. Hah. I'm becoming less and less able to digest the stuff. In fact I have it to thank for some of the more severe rounds of abdominal pain I've had recently. And so I'm treated to the humiliating spectacle of myself rejoicing to find soy cheese available in the local health food store and rice milk in the grocery.

*sigh*

Bloody gods.

 

[carsonshepherd]

That is pretty ironic.

Sorry about the lactose intolerance though. Soy cheese is disgusting. (Although Rice Dream makes a non-dairy ice cream that doesn't suck.)

*loves*

 

[MarshAlien]

They are the only gods who never sleep, and whose workings on the mortal plane are absolutely scrutable and predictable. And yet they manage to sneak up on us while we're busy blundering about in the fog of our own hubris.

Case in point: I've never had patience for the forces of Dairy Demonization. It's become something of a trend to decry the use of milk and milk products for a host of confusedly connected reasons running the gamut from the ethical to the nutritional to the spiritual. I'd been subjected to enough preaching on the topic to have become decidedly irritable at the mere sight of rice milk or soy cheese.

And so, of course, the irony gods sent me a little blessing from on high. Hah. Hah. I'm becoming less and less able to digest the stuff. In fact I have it to thank for some of the more severe rounds of abdominal pain I've had recently. And so I'm treated to the humiliating spectacle of myself rejoicing to find soy cheese available in the local health food store and rice milk in the grocery.

*sigh*

Bloody gods.

What sort of sacrifices have you been using? I would suggest "milk" chocolate. I will P.M. you with an address where you can send a couple of cases to appease the milk gods.

Seriously, my sympathies.

 

[S-Des]

If you spend the next several years of your life hating the rich, do you suppose he might "punish" you in the same manner?

BTW, I feel your pain. I am the ultimate junk food junkie, but lately haven't been doing so well with large milkshakes. It hasn't translated down to a glass of milk or bowl of cereal yet, but I wouldn't be surprised.

 

[BlackShanglan]

If you spend the next several years of your life hating the rich, do you suppose he might "punish" you in the same manner?

*laugh* Now that's the best advice I've heard yet!

Carson, I haven't actually tasted this soy cheese I've bought yet, but I have a more than sneaking hunch that it will in fact be fairly nasty. I'm hoping it might let me limp by in foods where I'm after the texture as much as the flavor, but who knows. I noticed in the store that most of the soy cheese available didn't even attempt to look like more than half-hearted Velveeta, which hardly seems a good sign.

On the plus side, the soy yogurt with peaches in it was quite sufferable, and I don't find rice milk objectionable. I don't think it tastes like milk, but as far as sort of sweetish ricey drink goes, I suppose I can live with it.

MarshAlien, you're extremely kind. Perhaps this is my failing - I've been eating the chocolate instead of sacrificing it. As it happens chocolate is also on the list of foods to be drastically cut back, but I'm still sneaking a square now and then. I'll try moonlit sacrifices of the rest.

S-Des, I hope that your problems don't reach this point. I do love food, and I'm extremely fond of cheese. I'll probably still try seeing if I can take just a nibble now and then. But oddly I'm most thankful for the rice milk now, because it means that I can still eat a quick breakfast without having to drag out the pots and pans.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

I do love food, and I'm extremely fond of cheese. I'll probably still try seeing if I can take just a nibble now and then. But oddly I'm most thankful for the rice milk now, because it means that I can still eat a quick breakfast without having to drag out the pots and pans.

<whispers> Lactose intolerance pills...bloody brilliant things...chew one before you have the cheese and walla no pains. *disclaimer* Well for most that is. Don't remember what they were called but they had them in walgreens and walmart where I lived in the states. The chemist/pharmacist recommended them.

 

[carsonshepherd]

*laugh* Now that's the best advice I've heard yet!

Carson, I haven't actually tasted this soy cheese I've bought yet, but I have a more than sneaking hunch that it will in fact be fairly nasty. I'm hoping it might let me limp by in foods where I'm after the texture as much as the flavor, but who knows. I noticed in the store that most of the soy cheese available didn't even attempt to look like more than half-hearted Velveeta, which hardly seems a good sign.

On the plus side, the soy yogurt with peaches in it was quite sufferable, and I don't find rice milk objectionable. I don't think it tastes like milk, but as far as sort of sweetish ricey drink goes, I suppose I can live with it.

MarshAlien, you're extremely kind. Perhaps this is my failing - I've been eating the chocolate instead of sacrificing it. As it happens chocolate is also on the list of foods to be drastically cut back, but I'm still sneaking a square now and then. I'll try moonlit sacrifices of the rest.

S-Des, I hope that your problems don't reach this point. I do love food, and I'm extremely fond of cheese. I'll probably still try seeing if I can take just a nibble now and then. But oddly I'm most thankful for the rice milk now, because it means that I can still eat a quick breakfast without having to drag out the pots and pans.

Thank God I can drink milk, but my mom used to make me eat soy bacon and such growing up, and all of the soy products are much, much better than they used to be. Some people who are lactose-intolerant can still eat live-culture yogurt.

May I suggest goat's or sheep's milk and cheeses? A little whangy, but not bad when you get used to them. Sheep's milk feta cheese is actually very good. The brand name Valbreso is pretty available at upper-end grocery stores/

 

[NoJo]

Thank God I can drink milk, but my mom used to make me eat soy bacon and such growing up, and all of the soy products are much, much better than they used to be. Some people who are lactose-intolerant can still eat live-culture yogurt.

May I suggest goat's or sheep's milk and cheeses? A little whangy, but not bad when you get used to them. Sheep's milk feta cheese is actually very good. The brand name Valbreso is pretty available at upper-end grocery stores/

Holy shit, and I thought I was gay...

 

[buxxxom]

My sympathies to you, our horsie friend, for facing a summer without ice cream.

 

[glynndah]

Popsicles

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thank you all for the excellent suggestions for substitutes. Things are a little complicated by the current uncertainty as to whether this is actual lactose intolerance or a different sort of resistance to dairy that sometimes crops up in connection with a chronic condition I've been gifted with. That's kept me a little gunshy of the lactose-free milk and assorted other animal milks. However, I think that once I've fought things back to a more even keel, I shall be very interested in testing those out! Chantily, I had no idea such pills existed - thank you very much! And Carson, I've tasted goat milk and liked it better than soy, and I absolutely adore goat milk cheese.

I'm feeling much more chipper with those ideas in mind.

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

Popsicles

I make a mean mango-ginger sorbet. Or watermelon-mint, anyone? I can see that the ice cream maker is going to get dragged back out of storage.

 

[NoJo]

I get sick from milk and butter, which have high lactose. Just cut those down ( or out if you think you need to) at first, and see how you go. Cheese (esp. mature cheese) has much less lactose (the bactaria used in making the cheese have effectively digested much of the lactose already). I'd be surprised if you need to cut out cheese completely, given what you've posted.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I get sick from milk and butter, which have high lactose. Just cut those down ( or out if you think you need to) at first, and see how you go. Cheese (esp. mature cheese) has much less lactose (the bactaria used in making the cheese have effectively digested much of the lactose already). I'd be surprised if you need to cut out cheese completely, given what you've posted.

Joe, you bring hope to my heart. I shall make a special note that more mature cheese might be gentler to me. It's a painful duty, but I'll search out the five-year cheddars. Thanks very much for the information.

Shanglan

 

[glynndah]

Lactaid

 

[christabelll]

lactaid milk
Lact -ease pills

saved my life when I was preggers and suddenly couldnt have milk in ANY FORM


harder cheeses = asiago, parmasean, swiss are nice when you are slightly intolerant of soft cheeses

goat cheese - fresh is usualy on the sweeter side of TANGY you can get several kinds anymore

and if you are into alternative health care see an accupuncturist.... there is usually an underlying thing going on that can be treated easily and without meds......


Good Luck

 

[HappyLlama]

It could be a richard or ami intollerance, brought on by reading lengthy, pointless diatribes.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[jomar]

Best wishes, BlackShanglan, with your lactose intolerance.

The Golf Gods are intolerant of me, and seem to take pleasure in my misery.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

The yeast contained in yoghurt digest most of the lactose it would have had, so you can have yoghurt as a milk-substitute as well, as long as you don't overdo it. Unfortunately, most cheeses do have a lot of lactose, but like glynndah and christabelll said, any milk with added lactase enzimes will be good to compensate that, or just take lactase capsules.

 

[Pure]

speaking of new PC foods, Shang, how about the Portobello burger? Tried it?

 

[BlackShanglan]

It could be a richard or ami intollerance, brought on by reading lengthy, pointless diatribes.

My thoughts are with you.

*laugh* Llama - I love ya.

 

[BlackShanglan]

speaking of new PC foods, Shang, how about the Portobello burger? Tried it?

I haven't tried a pre-made sort, but I do grill mushrooms quite often. I'm not that fond of them as burgers because it feels a little heavy in starch to me, but I can still (thank heaven) eat steak and mushroom pie to my horsey heart's content. Weirdly, that's one of the "ultra-safe" foods at the moment in a rapidly restricting diet. But not at all PC. *grin*

Shanglan

 

[NoJo]

<interjection>
I keep coming back to this thread, hoping the topic will have drifted towards ironing, about which I've a thing or two to say, I can tell ya.
</interjection>

 

[kendo1]

<interjection>
I keep coming back to this thread, hoping the topic will have drifted towards ironing, about which I've a thing or two to say, I can tell ya.
</interjection>

This must be ironic.

 

[BlackShanglan]

<interjection>
I keep coming back to this thread, hoping the topic will have drifted towards ironing, about which I've a thing or two to say, I can tell ya.
</interjection>

I'm sorry. The original intent was to discuss mining.