The Gentle Dom/ Daddy

[Sexy_Singer]

If you know me, you know that the majority of my time has been spent on the Play Ground side. But, since my start on Lit, I have grown and evolved. I've listened closely to those who were in D/s or DD/lg dynamics. I heard the caring in the relationships. Though sometimes it isn't always sexual, this dynamic has drawn me in. I find fulfillment in the Daddy identity.

I appreciate any serious discussion, whether from Doms/Daddy's or subs/littles on this subject. What have you experienced in your relationships? What are the positives? What are the negatives?

 

[nakedginger]

I will write more later but is is a dynamic I feel most at home with. As you say, not just the sexual but spending a day or more with them in a nurturing, caring evironment.
I am starting a journey with a 72 year old Granddaddy. Nothing sexual yet but builing up the intimacy with each visit and keeping that granddaughter warm loving tingly feeling.

 

[bethany_s]

If you know me, you know that the majority of my time has been spent on the Play Ground side. But, since my start on Lit, I have grown and evolved. I've listened closely to those who were in D/s or DD/lg dynamics. I heard the caring in the relationships. Though sometimes it isn't always sexual, this dynamic has drawn me in. I find fulfillment in the Daddy identity.

I appreciate any serious discussion, whether from Doms/Daddy's or subs/littles on this subject. What have you experienced in your relationships? What are the positives? What are the negatives?

I've been the 's' in a D/s relationship before, although I wouldn't have considered him a daddy figure. But the caring was a very much part of the relationship, and not sure I could be in a D/s relationship without the caring aspect. You are welcome to PM me if you wanted to discuss further.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I've been the 's' in a D/s relationship before, although I wouldn't have considered him a daddy figure. But the caring was a very much part of the relationship, and not sure I could be in a D/s relationship without the caring aspect. You are welcome to PM me if you wanted to discuss further.

Some of us can’t help but be caring…

 

[barefootgirl69]

What have you experienced in your relationships? What are the positives? What are the negatives?

There is such a wide range of DDs simply because each person is different. They each have something that is a core strength.

I won't forget the first time someone asked me what I needed, how they could help me grow as a person. He didn't want to know what turned me one or anything of that nature - and I had to think!

He taught me how to manage my time better, how to list things and go through it - and not beat myself up if something moved to the next day, but not to be lax about it, too.

In a way, it helped me to learn about myself more and to accept myself.

That's just one positive thing.

(I'll have more to say later!)

Oh! Just a reminder. DD/lg isn't incest.

 

[KentBloke]

I had a sub years ago who told me one night (after some hugely satisfying fun together) that I was a "demanding but gentle dom". It took a long time to understand what she meant (outside the bedroom part of the relationship) and that it was probably one of the nicest compliments I had been given up to that point in my life. The comment above is spot on... some of us have a nurturing/caring nature!

 

[nakedginger]

Do we approach or ask the DD to improve certain things we think are negative or do we let them watch us and analyze our weaknesses? Then work to improve those things.
I have ADHD and need calming and focus but there may be other things causing it that I am not aware of.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Do we approach or ask the DD to improve certain things we think are negative or do we let them watch us and analyze our weaknesses? Then work to improve those things.
I have ADHD and need calming and focus but there may be other things causing it that I am not aware of.

Most things should have already been discussed prior to you agreeing to submit/him agreeing to Dom.

You'll want him to know things you want/need and find out if he's able to take on that responsibility. Take your time to find out if you're compatible.

There should always be open discussion about things. Communication is important to any relationship.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Thank you. Yes, communication and time is the stage we are at now. Slowly and working through what we want and expect. I was wondering how much guidance vs serving is normal.

If it's something important or a hard limit, bring it up.

Otherwise, it's subjective. Honestly, I would ask how they want to Dom. I would see if that style suited me.

 

[nakedginger]

If it's something important or a hard limit, bring it up.

No hard limits as such it's quite gentle or subtle.

Otherwise, it's subjective. Honestly, I would ask how they want to Dom. I would see if that style suited me.

We have discussed things and it seems we are on the same page.

 

[wwot40]

No hard limits as such it's quite gentle or subtle.

We have discussed things and it seems we are on the same page.

I agree. Limits must be openly discussed. Distinctions should be made for hard limits and soft limits which the Dom should attempt to stretch the envelop on.

 

[nakedginger]

I agree. Limits must be openly discussed. Distinctions should be made for hard limits and soft limits which the Dom should attempt to stretch the envelop on.

It needs very clear and strict boundaries

 

[wwot40]

It needs very clear and strict boundaries

Agreed and again open and clear communication

 

[nakedginger]

Agreed and again open and clear communication

Agreed and again open and clear communication

Between all three

 

[wwot40]

Between all three

ABSOLUTELY!

 

[wwot40]

ABSOLUTELY!

Like I said all 3 must be in sync throughout for this dynamic to work

 

[nakedginger]

Like I said all 3 must be in sync throughout for this dynamic to work

Absolutely. Defining roles and how they guide and nurture and their individual needs.

 

[wwot40]

Absolutely. Defining roles and how they guide and nurture and their individual needs.

Exactly. And Daddy and Granddad can keep developing the sub to grow.

 

[nakedginger]

Exactly. And Daddy and Granddad can keep developing the sub to grow.

A unit to bring her up.

 

[wwot40]

A unit to bring her up.

you are 100% correct

 

[Daddyhelpme]

From what I have experienced, there is still the D/s aspect but with an extra level of caring which is important (at least to me) to building the trust that allows me to push sexual boundaries. Barefootgirl described it better than I probably can, but I find that Daddies tend to have more respect for boundaries and outside commitments and the relationship feels more like gentle teaching or gentle leadership than strict expectation of obedience. I think any dominant man can be a Dom, but it takes a special, rare kind of Dom to be a Daddy.

 

[wwot40]

From what I have experienced, there is still the D/s aspect but with an extra level of caring which is important (at least to me) to building the trust that allows me to push sexual boundaries. Barefootgirl described it better than I probably can, but I find that Daddies tend to have more respect for boundaries and outside commitments and the relationship feels more like gentle teaching or gentle leadership than strict expectation of obedience. I think any dominant man can be a Dom, but it takes a special, rare kind of Dom to be a Daddy.

Very well said and I feel you are correct. I have always felt that a Daddy type is also a Mentor as well as a standards setter. It is about teaching and developing a deeper knowledge of the lifestyle and it can be done with a gentle hand.

 

[Oralexplorer]

Do we approach or ask the DD to improve certain things we think are negative or do we let them watch us and analyze our weaknesses? Then work to improve those things.
I have ADHD and need calming and focus but there may be other things causing it that I am not aware of.

If you been in the dynamic a while your D/DD may be able to pickup some of your subtle changes or inflexion. Although the key to good/successful dynamics is communications, there are ways of asking/suggesting for changes or improvements without being overt. You should however feel comfortable to speak your mind the submissive is not a door matt.
You get out what you put in.

 

[Oralexplorer]

Some of us can’t help but be caring…

Certainly something that resonate with me.
I prefer a calm caring approach to get outcomes, rather than a heavy handed approach. It's dependent on what is expected from both parties.

 

[J D Danger]

not sure I would call myself a gentle dom as once I get to know some one I can be demanding ,gruff and even grumpy....but I have been called loving but firm before...I think that fits