the "friend"situtation

[stant093]

im in a rut.....

I recently have had the awesome oppertunity to meet about 6 excellent women in the last month or so only to be told "i want to be friends" What is up with this? Im not a bad looking guy (26 6' 220, got a little beer belly, but im over all fit), i have a good head on my shoulders, currently in school and own my own business. Im not egotistical, nor am i a selfish guy, im willing to give the shirt off my back for pretty much anyone, however i keep getting the cold shoulder intimatly....

Women: how can i get out of this rut, I know its a very blunt question depending on situtations and what not but man o man, give me some pointers please, im going crazy here!

 

[SweetErika]

What were you doing when (or right before) they said they just wanted to be friends?

 

[stant093]

...usually they end up hanging out late night, i make suttle hints that im interested, and i do it with style, not pushy or anything, i mean im not a virgin, and have had plenty of great relationships....but i just dont get why im getting the friend thing all of a sudden, so far im 6 for 6 which is terrible, usually i meet a girl and end up dating for quite awhile. Im even friends with the last 3 or 4 girls ive dated, i can still call em up and bullshit with no resentment on either end...this is just striking me as odd....

The last girl i met gave me the "im stronger when im single line", granted ive never heard that one. But its frustrating when i hear her last relationship was abusive. Which was over 2 years ago...and im willing to offer everything i got to her and i get turned away...

Should i persue a woman or let them go...i usually let em go as i dont want to be the asshole who's naggin em...maybe thats what it is....

 

[SweetErika]

Perhaps your hints aren't as subtle as you think (women pick up on A LOT), and they get the impression you're only interested in sex or that you want a heavy relationship right away? At least those are two reasons I've said I only wanted to be friends.

It's not as bad as you think...the best relationships develop out of close friendships. Aim for that good friendship and see what happens. If all else fails, in time, you can always ask them for dating advice or to help you avoid doing whatever it is you're doing now if that's the problem.

Also, when you really look, do you see a pattern in the personalities or situations of these six women? Is it possible you're inadvertently choosing women who are unavailable?

 

[Munachi]

well maybe they just really aren't interested in you this way. six is not that much, nor is a month that long a time. of all guys i meet and talk to and that seem to be interested in me, only a small percentage are people i would want to be in a relationship with. the other way around i guess it is the same. there might not be any trick to it...

i find your description of yourself with the comment you are not bad looking a bit funny - if that alone was enough to make someone want to be in a relationship with someone else, then i would really wonder why there are so many singles out there...

 

[Private_Label]

im in a rut.....
Im not egotistical, nor am i a selfish guy, im willing to give the shirt off my back for pretty much anyone, however i keep getting the cold shoulder intimatly....

First you need to define intimacy... which I am thinking you mean in the sexual sense. maybe the problem is you are looking for someone to just have a good time with, and they are looking for someone to have a LTR with.

If you are saying something like "so how about we go back to my (your) place?" Before the person is that comfortable with you, it can be a signal that all you really want is to get in her pants. (Crude and blunt, but that is just how I am at times).

Maybe you should be taking time to get to learn more about the girl before looking to have an intimate moment with her.

It isn't you. Really. Some girls just like to know more about a guy before getting physically intimate with him. Some girls like to be in love with and in a committed relationship before they get intimate.

It all depends on what type of relationship you are looking for from these people.